Green Eggs and Ham

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Latest revision as of 20:24, August 15, 2011

“I won't stop till he eats this shit.”
~ Sam I am on disobeying restraining orders
“I like to suck eggs.”
~ Nick Emery on being gay
“Dr Suess is posiblee the gratest riter of all literachur of all teyem! He helpd me purfect my spelling techneeks!”
~ Me on Reading Dr Suess books
GreeneggsandhamMan

Executive of an unspecified fast-food chain sample-tasting the soon-to-be-released ersatz mass-market version of Green Scrambled Eggs & Ham

Green Eggs & Ham (photo no longer here since the link is fucked), in its premium sunny-side-up version, is a delicacy that has, since 1950, been the signature specialty of the Ritz Carlton Hotel in New York City.

  • It has been served by its chefs at various exclusive receptions across the world, including at the White Houses in both the U.S. and the Russian Federation.
  • The exquisite flavour and tasteful verdant-green colour result from a special egg and ham curing process developed by its chefs from France experienced in the aging of fine cheeses, wines and crackers.
  • The hotel carefully guards the preparation method.

edit Early ersatz versions of Green Eggs & Ham

For many years, Ersatz Green Eggs & Ham has been prepared by cooks outside the Ritz Carleton Hotel, and even by school-children, using various inauthentic techniques and ingredients: e.g., using food colouring, spinach, pesto, wasabi, etc.

Green Eggs and Ham can also refer to Dr. Seuss' great masterpiece, the third best-selling book in the world. (Only after J. K. Rowling's book series, the Holy Bible, and the Catholic holy book, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.)

edit Ersatz Mass-Market Green Eggs & Ham

It is rumoured that an unspecified fast-food chain has, through reverse-engineering and with technical assistance from Granny, partially uncovered the secrets of the preparation method and will be selling a scrambled-eggs ersatz mass-market version of Green Eggs & Ham worldwide shortly. It is predicted that, once the product is released, pent-up demand is so great that demand will outstrip supply for the foreseeable future.

edit Doctrinal disputes

Among ersatz preparers of Green Eggs & Ham there is currently a doctrinal dispute. While Premium Green Eggs & Ham entails both green eggs and green ham, some ersatz preparers are of the view that the word "green" modifies only the word "eggs" and not the word "ham". In the view of those in that camp, only the eggs need be green.


CHART OF PRIMARY COLOURSColoursColors

Brown Red Orange Gold Yellow Olive Green Cyan

Blue Indigo Purple Violet Pink Black Gray/Grey Silver White Beige

edit The Book

A novel by the master of literature Dr. Seuss and an excellent dish.

“Green Eggs and Ham”
~ Ernest Hemingway on Literature
“Dr. Seuss”
~ Literature on Perfection


Greenegg

edit Dr.Seuss's Literary Work

The extremely elevated and contemporary diction employed by the master of language, Theodor Geisel, is beyond the scope of literary genius. Structurally, his sophisticated work is mainly based in monosyllabic iambic tetяameter, not unlike the lesser work of the Odyssey or the so-called ‘Great Bard.’ Many Shakespearean scholars have long since converted to the new, more renowned work of Theodor Geisel. The good Doctor also branches into the vast realm of trochaic meter during his novel. He embraces the core and fundamental themes of excellence in writing.

While any of Dr. Geisel’s works could easily fulfill all the needs of any reader, his most widely appreciated endeavor is the one which I will devote my focus to. Green Eggs and Ham begins, like all great works of literature, with a pun. Not only does the author satirize the dish of eggs and ham cooked in spinach from the outset, he also makes a chilling statement about the classist nature of modern American society.

In the novel, the mightily heroic protagonist, Sam I Am, attempts to sway the anonymous, archetypal antagonist to the liberal side of the political spectrum by consuming green eggs and ham. Throughout the course of the novel Sam-I-am leads the reader through myriad landscapes with Dr. Geisel’s carefully crafted imagery. Does he succeed? Although the ending provides an answer to the burning question, the metaphoric interpretations are endless, and have been discussed by literary experts for decades.


edit See also

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