Green Card
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
A Green Card is a plastic or paper card that is usually colored green. It represents that you are a person in a country.
[edit] Application process
To apply for a green card, you must pass strenuous government test that includes reading, writing, and skin color. There are many steps to apply.
- Write a letter to George Bush asking him to identify the color green.
- Once you have flattered our leader he may send you a plastic or cardboard card with a greenish coloring on it via USPS.
- In a pinch a teal or cyan card can be turned into a green card with magic markers.
- Once you've acquired your green card you must activate it; to activate your card you must submit the application form that arrived with your card to the USCIS. Luckily the people at the USCIS cannot read.
- The USCIS will administer an Americknowlegde Exam, in which you will be asked to demonstrate your ability to 1) eat apple pie, 2) explain the basic rules of baseball and American football, and most importantly, 3) love freedom. Physically. A tube of freedom will be provided.
- Once activated, your green card has unlimited possibilities.
- These unlimited possibilities do not include omnipotence, immortality, or the ability to tame bees with your mind. However, they do include the possibility of passively diffusing between celestial bodies.
