Great Wall of China
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“"YOU RODDAMN MONGORIANS, STOP TEARING DOWN MY CHITTY WALL!!!!!”
“Mr. Deng, tear down this wall!”
“America needs one of those.”
It is a common misconception that the Great Wall of China was built by the moron who changed everything!in China, to protect them from the big bad dick of England. This is in fact not true. The Great Wall of China was built by aliens after they got bored killing all the Asians then blamed it all on the dead Asians. The gaps in between the walls were made after the aliens forgot to lift off their all air drive UFO off the ground.
The real reason, only known by AZ-n, is that the wall was constructed to keep the white man out of our food. The last time that the white man came, he brought back tons of white men that wanted spices in exchange for opium. So whenever my parents see those cracker asses shop at the wall-mart, we shoot them. And Japanese people. The Great wall actually stretches around entire china and keeps the Japanese out with waves of awesome.
However, a new theory gaining increasing recognition amongst revisionist historians is that the wall was in fact created by Alexander the Great. During his trek through China it is speculated that Alexander was inspired by Nathan Kays' double album opus The Wall, dedicated to Kays' deep seated love of masonry, which prompted him to build the wall single-handedly, having previously lost a hand during the construction of The Great Banana on Australia's Coffs Harbour. The theory indicates that upon its completion Alexander named the wall after both its creator and its location so that it would not be misidentified.
The most popular belief is that the Chinese built the wall to keep the Mongols out. The truth behind this is the Mongols came across China and found that it was a giant society of gay retarded people who made movies about people who would jump thirty feet in the air and fight each other while still in air for 5 minutes. The Mongols were horrified so they tried with all their might to save the world by blocking them out, though this failed as china found a way to reach out to the rest of the world by making the evilest plan to conquer the world. The name of this operation is "Wal-Mart".
[edit] See also
- Asian People
- Nasi Goreng
- Great Firewall of China
- Worst 100 Locations of All Time
- Qin Shi Huang
- Obstructionism
