Great Cornholio
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“I AM CORNHOLIO!”
“In Soviet Russia, teepee needs YOU!”
“I know that the human being and cornholians can coexist peacefully!”
“Get me teepee for my bunghole!”
“George Bush doesn't care about Cornholians”
“Are you threatening me?”
“He is from Nicaragua.”
“We are ALL bungholes!!!!!”
“I need PCP for my bunghole!!”
“You do not want to feel the wrath of my bunghole!!!!!”
“Do you any TP??”
The Great Cornholio is a holy leader and instructor in the ways of Bungholio. He needs teepee for his bunghole. Would you like to see his bunghole? There will be more bungholes after him. HE IS CORNHOLIO!! HE HATH NO BUNGHOLE. For there is but one bunghole, The Almighy Bunghole. There is no bunghole but Bungholio and Cornholio is his Prophet.
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[edit] History of Cornholio
The Great Cornholio was born among the Bungholian tribe of Lake Titicaca. (Tit! Hehehehehehehehehehe.) Despite being called the Bungholian tribe, they ironically have no anuses (The same conditon that afflicts the Demoncratic Party). Tormented by this, Cornholio fell in a state of denial and convinced himself that he indeed had a bunghole. Believing that he had a bunghole needing wiped, he went on a grand quest to the United States in search for teepee. While he was there, he was threatened by an INS agent and then transported to Mexico, then to Nicaragua. He soon escaped back into Nicaragua and was elected leader of the Bungholian tribe.
[edit] Cornholian Rites and Rituals
Soon after their visit to the United States, the Bungholian tribe, in order to honor their newly elected chief, changed their names to the Cornholians. They preceded to start a political party so that they could take over the US. That has no relevance, however. Anyway, new members of the tribe are required to show everyone the probes in their bunghole. After that, the Cornholian initiation ritual consists of a copious amounts of Jolt cola, NoDoze and cocaine to induce the proper state of mind, then listen to Middle-eastern chants, and watch large amounts of porn. The yearly Cornholian Christmas party is another interesting ritual. First is a feast consisting of demonically possessed turkey, evil eggs, and Brain Nog.
[edit] The Great Cornholian War
Soon, the Great Benewah, leader of the Le'onfantata tribe declared war on the Cornholians. Then it was discovered that Benewah's balls were inside the vagina of his wife, and he was then discredited as a leader and forced to step down, ending the war.
The war came as a heavy price for The Great Cornholio. He was assasinated on the streets of Bogota, Columbia by orders of Venezuelan Dickhed Hugo "My Ass Hurts" Chavez. His remains were never found and the streets are aways haunted at night with the spirit of one looking for teepee for his bunghole.
[edit] Books by Cornholio
"The Search for T.P."
"Trick or Treat, You Son of a Bitch: A Cornholian Guide to the Harvest Holidays"
"Moby Dick" Heheheheh! That's pretty cool!
