Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush

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GTA: Borat vs Bush

“ Gankpokji'linfnnjo-on all, just a quick question or two. Who is Borat? Who is Bush? Why was this game released? What is an Xbox? What is "Family Feud"? Why do I get a chubby when I see Rosie O'Donnell on television?”

~ Louie Anderson on Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs Bush

Grand Theft Auto: Borat vs. Bush was a video game produced by PRESIDENT COMPANIES and was released in 2002. It kept sales until 2006 after a controversial political joke was found in the game. Originally the game would be rated M but later PRESIDENT COMPANIES decided to change the rating to AO, effectively banning the game.

[edit] Level One - Kazakhstan

You begin the game in Gankpehyvgilerguilrokji'linfnnjo-on (pronounced 'Hello'), which is the protagonist's home town at 2:25 AM. Here, you must sneak into your neighbor's houses, picking up money, guns, and retrieving your passport from a pre-op transexual. During this, you also have the choice to light people's heads on fire as they sleep. This does no damage, does not wake them up, but changes their entire AI routine to make them run in circles outside the town hall screaming until they die of starvation. This ability is not limited to citizens, and can be used on policemen, politicians, horses, firemen, and gerbils. After collecting enough money to continue, the protagonist returns to his house to kill his wife, and feed his retarded brother to the sewer rats. The protagonist then steals a Ferrari, crashes it directly into the side of his house, and then walks nine miles to Kazakstan Int. Airport, operated by Richard Head Airliners.

[edit] Level Two - Richard Head Airport

You begin the level inside a motorized Tyke Tot heading towards the airport door, and must dodge all the citizens in the airport then making your way past several levels of security. Here, you will encounter the first boss, Saddam Hussein. Using all your skill and wit, you must drive the Tyke Tot into his torso several times while he stands motionless. You eventually enter a Boing-boing 7^747 filled with WMD's, and fly towards the United States.

[edit] Level Three - Trekking the USA!

This level is essentially a free-roam level, in a homage to the 5th GTA game - San Andreas. Here, the level is dotted with many missions to complete, including a McDonalds to buy, and several vehicles to drive. Missions include watching the film "Gangsta Vampiyaz 2: Electric Boogaloo", renting an apartment, burning down the apartment, driving aimlessly, writing radical feminist poetry, cloud watching, running over old people, and unicycling.

After the player finishes a arbitrary number of retarded fetch quests, usually 20-40, the national guard lets them drive across a single bridge. The player continues this for every bridge on the way to the White House. Optionally, the player can also rent a boat for thirty dollars, and bypass 60% of the game.

[edit] Final Level - The White House

Equipped with only a sniper rifle, a bottle of perfume and a fake blonde mustache, you arrive at the White House, which consists of 3 floors.

Floor 1 Make your way along the hallway to fight the boss at the end, Condi Rice, who throws "Vote Condi 2008" Flags at you, until you manage to cauterize her with a fuse, in a incredibly strange piece of science.

Floor 2 Here, you confront only one person - the President. He attacks you by throwing marsupials at you, inexplicably retrieved from his desk drawer. You ultimately defeat him by attacking him with pesticide, and then Treebeard, who makes a cameo appearance from Lord of the Rings. Laura Bush then appears, and you are allowed to 'Make Sexytime' with her in an optional mini-game. However, suddenly, a secret door appears, showing a staircase, leading to a final floor.

Floor 3 You enter a large circular-square room, covered with triangular-dodecohedron-square-circle-octagon-polygonal shaped screens, all being watched by a man who is jerking himself off. He turns around to reveal himself as Osama bin Laden. And so, the final battle commences. You must then run upstairs to the roof, meet Louie Anderson as he arrives on a helicopter, who then runs downstairs at 90 miles per hour and shoots Osama Bin Laden in the crotch until he dies. After 3 hours of watching Louie Anderson shoot Osama Bin Laden in the crotch, he is defeated, and the game is complete. The player is then allowed to engage in 'Sexytime' mini-games with Mrs Bush, as well as Mrs Clinton and Monica Legwinsky.

[edit] Reception

The game was released in 2002, and was positively received by all critics for 'its workmanlike structure' and 'amazing hoovering capabilities'.

In mid-2005, sales on the game were slimming down from 80% to 15% due to the weapon "ANAL GONDOLIER", found in the player's house at the start of the game, which launches rusty feces-covered missiles shaped like burning crosses, and is used to impale nuns. The controversy was later made clear in the player's reloading animation, while sliding a new clip into the weapon, it is shown that on one missile are inscribed the words "IMPEACH BUSH". In 2006, the game was banned from the United States after this easter egg was found.

[edit] ESRB Ratings

• First Release: E10+
• Second Release (after "IMPEACH BUSH" easter egg found): M
• Third Release (before AO rating): T
• 69th Release: (after realizing that it's the 69th release and has sex all over it) E