Grand Theft Auto: Angry Asian Kid Stories

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Thanks to new Asian-O-Vision, players can experience driving through the eyes of a REAL asian!

GTA: AAK or Grand Theft Auto: Angry Asian Kid Stories is the first video game to star everyone's favourite Angry Asian Kid: Yi Feng Lee! Also known as GTA 6, it is scheduled to be released shortly after the eagerly anticipated video game cross over; Grand Theft Auto: Saints Row. It is set to continue the typical Grand Theft Auto storyline, where by the play does random missions, meets random characters, drives all over the road, and gets to blow shit up. It is set to be released on the PS4 and Xbox 567.5, but not the Wii, cause its a piece of shit.

[edit] Storyline

Grand Theft Auto: Angry Asian Kid stories is centered around Yi Feng Lee, an asian immigrant who has just moved to Australia since being released from a New Zealand prison, after he crashed his Bigg Shine cheese truck, killing 3 people, and wounding 400. The story follows Yi Feng as he faces big cock and tries to become the world's best douche, by collecting ALL COOL AS CARS. Throughout the game, Yi Feng meets various different characters, and eventually offends all of them. See below for a list of characters.

[edit] Gameplay

GTA: AAK is the first game to use the revolutionary Frustration Meter and Yi Feng Power Meter. Throughout the game, the player must do things that annoy the people around him. As the player does this, the character's Frustration Meter will rise. When it reaches the top, the character will become so frustrated that they make a racist comment to the player, allowing to the player to enter Yi Feng Mode, making them invincible for a limited amout of time, and making it look as if the player is a better driver than they really are. The Yi Feng Power Meter can also be filled by putting Yi Feng in situations that annoy him, such as next to a dog. When the meter fills completely, Yi Feng Mode becomes available.

[edit] Characters

Throughout the game, Yi Feng meets many 'colorful' characters. The main ones are listed as follows:

• Riza: is karles brother. Riza is seen in the first mission, where he attempts to drive Yi Feng to his apartment. Riza is perhaps Yi Feng's least favourite person, considering that he is not only a better driver than Yi Feng, but also not asian. He constantly mentions Yi Feng's 'asianness', which is why Yi Feng had cut all ties before he came to Australia. However, now that Yi Feng lives in Riza's home town, he cannot avoid him any more, and constantly finds himself doing missions, riza has an unbeliveablely big mouth which likes to goble knobs, for his cousin. When the player is on the phone to Riza, an option to swear at the top of your lungs will appear on the screen, and can be charged by holding the button. A fully charged scream can even break the phone, causing Yi Feng's Yi Feng Power meter to fill up.

• Karlie: The leader of H.F.H, the town's main gang. Karlie is the man with the unbelievably large penis, and many other characters will go to great lenghts to enlarge their penises. Another characteristic of Karlie would be his pubic bush which somewhat resembles the Amazon rainforest. Karlie also frequently masterbates, and at his prime masterbated 27 times in one day (there were no survivors). Due to Karlie's unbelievably large penis, he is inactive for most of the missions, as his penis gets in his way.

• Mattie: Karlie's retarded brother. Mattie thinks he is a true bred gangster, even though he has never seen a gun in his life. He sometimes works out at the H.F.H gym, but doesn't really try very hard. Yi Feng first meets Mattie during one of the H.F.H missions, where he has to drive him down to the dairy. Yi Feng gains a firm hatred for Mattie when he pisses himself in Yi Feng's car. This happens at the end of the mission, and provides a free Yi Feng Mode for the player. After that, Yi Feng occassionally finds himself taking Mattie for walks, until the Slapdown mission, where the player must find and beat Mattie in a 'slap fight', after Mattie gets hold of Karlie's phone and uses it to abuse Yi Feng. It is rumoured to be impossible to beat Mattie in this mission, since asians CANNOT beat retarded people in slap fights.

• Gay Larry: Leader of Karlie's rival gang, the White Cocks, Gay Larry is just as his name describes him: a Larry. And a wee bit gay. Due to Yi Feng's ignorant hatred of all things gay (except american cars), Yi Feng develops a violent hatred to the rival gang leader. Yi Feng first meets Larry at Dackie's party, where he offers Yi Feng a job working at the White Cocks bar. Of course, being Yi Feng, he offends Larry, starting a week long gang war between the White Cocks and H.F.H.

• Bigg Shine:Bigg Shine is the man with the pale skin, and is amazingly immune to cold weather, Bigg Shine is also known for liking an excess of cheese.

• Lil Ghandi: Is the realy short indian who's father drives HFH around in his taxi for free. Lil Ghandi aspires to become a supra drifter while doing bollywood dancing with his toyo's but he spent to much money on buying his computer.

• Dackie: That tall dude that who originates from Greenland. It is rumoured that Dackie doesn't breath and frequently takes part in math debates.

• Arse-Races: Karlie's long time sex buddy. Blond, awkward, and very stiff. Karlie once raped Arse-Races for 20 hours straight, he has never shat right since.

• Shit Stick: Every gta needs to have an arse hole and well here he is. Shit Stick is a gumpy weired pedo who blurts things out at random times to try to stay with H.F.H . Shit Stick has been knowen to chase people into bathrooms what he does in there you dont know but throughout the story we know that he losses his ties and moves over to the rival gang White Cocks, as you can see he is not a very stable person.

[edit] Weapons

EVERY GTA game needs its weapons! Especially considering every Angry Asian Kid needs weapons to defend themselves from muggers, and... Mexicans. The game has most of the usual weapons seen in your usual GTA games, mainly Uzis, pistols, rockets launchers, cars. But there are also a few 'new' weapons, which are described below.

• The custom "HO" beating stick: The primary melee weapon of Yi Feng, and the first weapon you receive. Yi Feng beats a ho who asks him to help her pick up her bag. The "HO" beater is a pretty weak weapon, except when used during a Yi Feng Mode, when the "HO" beater does damage equal to that of the Ultra Dildo. However, the force of the hit breaks the "HO" beater, and coolie Mo G has to mug another HO!!

• Yi Feng Laser: The most powerful weapon in the game. This weapon can only be unlocked after Dackie's Party, where Yi Feng uses it to attempt to assassinate Gay Larry. The Laser requires for the Yi Feng Power Meter to be half filled before it can be used, and prolonged use of it drains the Yi Feng Power Meter. The Laser instantly kills anyone it hits, and instantly destroys any vehicles, with the downside of causing the player to enter Asian-O-Vision to fire it, greatly lowering the accuracy of the weapon.

• White dildo: A very powerful weapon found inside a jail shower. It is white, long, and bound to cause anal tears.

• Black dildo: Twice as powerful as white dildo, not because its bigger, longer, or tougher, but because it is BLACK.

[edit] Missions

What would any GTA game be without its missions. GTA AAK is no different, with a few missions shown below:

• The Cousins Feng: The first mission in the game. The player is introduced to Yi Feng, and meets Riza. This is perhaps the shortest mission in the game. The player finds themself driving Riza and his Feltzer back to Riza's apartment, while Riza makes some cracks at Yi Feng. This is the first time the Yi Feng Power Meter is introduced. As you drive with Riza, the racistness of his jokes cause the Yi Feng Power Meter to fill, and when the meter reaches half way, the player must pull over the car, listen to Yi Feng yell for 30 seconds, and then get out of the car and walk away. Thus, the mission is complete!

Mmm, gotta love that Yi Feng cake...

• Its Party Time!: The infamous 'Dackie's Party' mission. Yi Feng is invited to Dackie's 21st, which also acts as a welcoming party for Yi Feng , where he meets Lil' Ghandi and Gay Larry. After getting pissed off at both of them for a while, Yi Feng prepares to throw the cake out the window. However, it is Gay Larry's last angry words that activate one of the only two MEGA YI FENG BLASTS seen in the game. The radiation from this combines with the Yi Feng cake, creating the superweapon; Yi Feng Lazer! The mission then ends with Yi Feng destroying Dackie's house, and vowing revenge on Gay Larry.