Grammar nazi

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[[Image:Grammarnazilogo.png|thumb|220x|right|Der Grammar Nazi logo.]]{{Q|Es ist "für wen", nicht "für die".<ref>It's "for whom", not "for who".</ref>|Grammar Nazi|grammar}}
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#REDIRECT [[Grammar Nazi]]
{{Q|Das Komma geht schließende Anführungszeichen und einfache Anführungszeichen sollten anstelle von Anführungszeichen verwendet werden.<ref>The comma goes inside the closing quotation marks and single-quotes should be used instead of double-quotes.</ref>|Another Grammar Nazi|the above quote}}
 
 
'''Grammar Nazis''' are people (or [[Kitler|cats]]) who use their freakishly and/or [[annoying]]ly powerful understanding of and compliance with [[English|grammar]] and [[spelling]] to attempt to "correct" others, usually the blissfully-oblivious-to-the-outside-world members and users of the [[Internet]], who only understand the grammatically [[Genocide|genocidal]] ''text-speak''. However, the Grammar Nazi sees "correcting" others as "making" others "look like fools", and the others in question see the Grammar Nazi as "some [[asshole]] with no life". Today, most Grammar Nazis have settled down from the violent [[flamewar|battles]] of "der gut ölde daes" to shadowy lives of correcting the error-ridden comments found below.
 
== The Ever History ==
 
{{Wikipedia}}
 
Of all the things that started when the [[internet]] was created, the Grammar Nazis are the <s>worst</s> '''''best'''''. They were all, "Hey, we are better with English than you, so we're all going to start yelling at you often." Then, they started making [[Grammar concentration camp|concentration camps]] for people to go to so that they may concentrate.
 
The first concentration camps were a place where one is sent. The Grammar SS make one read books, and if one does not read the books properly (or one cannot read), the Grammar SS says to the person, "You're going for a shower", and they gas the person.
 
6 million trolls were gassed in the Grammar Holocaust.
 
Hitler and his Grammar Nazis almost had the world under their control. They only stopped because they could not take over Britain, thanks to Winston Churchill, Dangermouse, Superman, and the people from London who could spell better than the Nazis.
 
 
===The Apostrophy~Phrasengarian Empire===
 
The Apostrophy-Phrasengarian empire was the product of years of hard-work by the apostrophe to do just about anything. It began by simply taking over letters such as in the phrase "I'm," where the apostrophe army completely wiped out the "A" armies' defenses. {{Cn}}
 
 
In 1914, however, Arch-Duchess Fronts Further-and was assassinated by an enraged plural possessive. This was due to its resentment at often being left out and replaced by the inferior singular plural, or even omitted all together. This resulted in the first Word War, fought entirely for the sake of language. While the British could easily decipher the inflection and apostrophe-free language of the Germans, the Germans found it difficult to fathom the wider British vocabulary and more complex use of apostrophes. {{Cn}}
 
 
One of the biggest proponents against the Apostrophy-Phrasengarian empire was [[Adolf Hitler]] who actually mobilised his forces against them. While the English were happy to appease the tyrant, the academy Française would not allow it and insisted that Britain join it against the young Hitler, whose language was known to be rhetoric and devoid of [[German grammar|grammatical]] structure. {{Cn}}
 
 
===Rise of the Third Write===
 
<s>bye</s> '''(Falsche Schpellkën!) By''' the end of 1918''', (mit '''('''WELCHER DUMMKOPF SCHRIEB 'WIT'?''')''' einem Komma, Dummkopf!)''' <s>germany</s> '''(Kapitalisierung, Idioten!!) Germany''' had exhausted its supply of scrabble sets. [[America]] soon entered the war. Due to their endless supply of [[Mark Twain]] novels and outlandish accents, the Axis Powers were forced to sur'''r'''ender.
 
 
The inter-war years were hard for Germany. The country had been forced by [[France]] to adopt [[1337]] speak in all of its official correspondence. Anarchy reigned and a good German found it increasingly hard to find a decent Bratwurst. {{Cn}}
 
 
Embittered by his country's defeat and poor grammar, Adolf Hitler formed the [[Nazi]] Party. Soon, millions flocked to his rall'''ies''' to he'''ar''' his speeches on the proper use of "its" versus "it's".
 
 
In 1933, [[Hitler]] rose to power on a platform of improved [[Grammar Concentration Camp|literacy programmes]] and the banning of democracy. Soon the [[world]] began to tremble before the might of his grammatical knowledge and boots. {{Cn}}
 
 
In 1938, Hitler returned in triumph to Vienna. In a process known as "anschloss" (German for ''fucking bad idea''{{Cn}}), Austria united with Germany. In 1939 Hitler demanded that Poland and Czechslovakia get rid of all those dots (ü) above their letters. The all'''ies''' refused and the world w'''as''' plunged into war. {{Cn}}
 
 
==World War II==
 
 
At first<b>,</b> the squadron superior Lexicon and Grammar led them to overrun Eastern Europe and France<b>,</b> but hey<b>,</b> this is the French we're talking about. You just <s>has</s> '''have''' to throw a moldy onion or two at them and they start dropping their guns; or politely ask them to sur'''r'''ender '''and''' they'll do it.
 
 
But Britain managed to hold out against the power of the Grammar Nazi Empire thanks to the rhetoric of Winston Churchill. Japanese planes were <s>freinds</s> '''friends''' '''''allied''''' with the Grammar Nazis, and due to this they sent some bombs to Hawaii to piss off America. For some reason America entered the war. The Germans could not hold out against the American policy of 'General Ignorance'. Thus ended Hitler's dreams.
 
 
== What To Do When Encountering One or More Grammar Nazis ==
 
 
* Many people think that a Grammar <s>Nazis</s> '''Nazi's''' weakness is seeing a lot of grammatical errors. {{Cn}} If you encounter a Grammar Nazi, then '''do not''' quickly make a lot of <s>grammar</s> '''grammatical''' errors. It simply makes them angrier.
 
 
* Remind them that you have a significant other, and have had sex more times <s>then</s> '''than''' they have read ''The Elements of Style'' by Strunk and White. Try to keep a straight face when you do this! {{Cn}}
 
 
* Attack them with insane amounts of chatspeak. No Grammar Nazi can stand a chatspeak-barrage for very long, <s>U</s>'''u'''nless said Nazi speaks chatspeak himself. {{Cn}}
 
 
Example:
 
<i>
 
Vulgar Child: omg jst leeve meh a lown. i no u cant fite meh cuz im 2 powaafull n u cnt win!! </i>
 
<s>Grammer</s> Grammar Nazi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (this is probably untrue, as Grammar Nazis will NEVER use that many <s>syllables</s> vowels.)
 
 
* In the rare case that the Grammar Nazi <i>does</i> speak chatspeak, run like hell. There's no stopping him or her.{{Cn}}
 
 
Example:
 
<i> i fink i do n i fink u meen " Oh my Gumballs, just leave me alone. I know you cannot fight me because I'm much too powerful and you can't win."
 
 
* Screw with them by using obscure interpretations of "effect". For example, say "the government has effected major
 
changes," and when they get all douche-baggy and tell you it is "affect," find a dictionary and show them that they are wrong.
 
This method, however, only works on people who only ''claim'' to be Grammar Nazis. ''Real'' Grammar Nazis would know that meaning
 
of "effect".
 
 
*Bait them into a confrontation by spelling "whiny" as "whiney". Naturally they will try to correct you, but little do they know that "whiney" is also an acceptable spelling. Prove to them that they are wrong and enjoy your victory.
 
 
 
* I agree. {{Cn}}
 
 
* I concur. {{Cn}}
 
 
==Translations==
 
<references/>
 
 
== see also ==
 
*[[Grammar Communism]]
 
*[[Sentence stopper thingy]]
 
*[[Umlaut]]
 
*[[Speech to text software]]
 
{{German}}
 
[[Category:Grammar]]
 

Latest revision as of 19:54, February 9, 2013

  1. REDIRECT Grammar Nazi
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