Grammar concentration camp
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Grammatik macht frei!”
Welcome to the Grammar Concentration Camp (notice how we capitalize the first letters of each word of this proper noun). j00 (yes, that is you) have been sent here due to persisting complaints from our righteous officers that your linguistic habit is despicable, to say the least. The grammar concentration camp was founded (notice that we did not say "was found" since that will alter the meaning) by the virtuous organization of Grammar Nazi to rectify your malicious linguistic deficiencies. We have the experience of interring numerous j00s from virtually every corner of the world since the inception of our efficient institution. Our special treatment has cleansed many web sites from the villainy and corruption of j00's grammatical putrescence. This is our final solution.
The Grammar Concentration Camp was founded soon after the proliferation of the internet circa 1995. During the early phase of the internet, a cabal of sanctimonious adherents to linguistic correctness proposed the formation of an international organization devoted to cleanse the nascent world wide web from grammatical transgressions. This organization was aptly named Grammar Nazi. The Grammar Nazi immediately unleashed a wave of linguistic genocide initially targeting internet users who misused clauses (examples of their clausal transgression: "hey it's nice to see you here I like your last post about spelling it's well written I agree with you hey what are you doing why are you trolling me hey no stop it it hurts no no stop it arrrgh mommy mommy someone trolled me"). This event is known as the holoclause. The most significant Grammar Concentration Camp's internet server can be found at Auschwitz.
Our special treatment consists of many steps. The initial step in our special treatment is proper spelling. Despite your horrific grammar, your spelling must first be redressed. Following is an example of how a typical internee has succeeded in learning to consistently use proper spelling.
Eye have a spelling chequer,
It came with my Pea Sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss Steaks I can Nazi.
Eye strike the quays and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am write oar wrong
It tells me straight a weigh.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your shore real glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.
A chequer is a bless thing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right all stiles of righting,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The chequer pours o'er every word
Two cheque sum spelling rule.
Upon the completion of our treatment for j00's linguistic disorder, you will be certain to exhibit proper grammatical behaviors ("behaviours", for our conscientious cousins). Shall you fail to amend your perverted grammatical tendencies, another possibility is available for you in our special chambers. We condone honorable ("honourable" for our friends) initiative of cleansing this virtual world of vile grammatical errors.
In the unlikely - but very desirable - case that j00 will have experienced self-reproach and willingly remediate your linguistic perversion, we shall show our support to your noble repentance. After j00 have successfully undergone our arduous standard re-education in proper prescriptive English, a certificate of completion will be provided, along with paraphernalia, which will show that you are now a well-spoken, upright citizen. You will also be assigned a mandatory duty of murdering another grammar violator before leaving the camp. Henceforth you shall be known as a Grammar Nazi.