Goth Poem

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Unpoetia logo Poetry for people who hate poetry

“When I was a boy there was no 'angst,' just primitive lads, disemboweling for pranks. ”
~ Oscar Wilde on Goth Poetry

“Hold on now... do pranks really rhyme with angst? Oh bloody bugger... this poetry!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Goth Poetry

TicklingoftheDamned2

Damned image huffed from another Damned page by one of those Damned kids.

I could never prose as Wilde,

for I am merely a Devil's child.

Yeah his quotes

are as legion,

like unto my demon.

-Pathetic Goth Poet foaming at mouth and painting nails black


edit Rules Of Writing A Gothic Poem

All Goth poems must meet a strict set of standards laid out by the International Gothic Poem Committee. These rules are described here.

edit Rules concerning the author

  • You must be pathetic.
  • You must be suffering from an inflamed clitoral castration.
  • You must have zero perspective
  • You no longer have to be on drugs because they are not considered to be post-modern.
Timothy Leary is dead, 
flushed into space 
He sucks filthy remnants
of your black soul
A succubus screams
and Timothy crys 
like a little girl. 
 
  • You must practice some form of witchcraft, self-mutilation or continuously hit self in head (preferably with a hardbound Norton Anthology of Oscar Wilde quotes.)
  • Kitten huffing is not to be practiced because it leads to happy thoughts.
  • You may channel the spirit of Oscar Wilde or Edgar Allen Poe if you wish

“Oh bugger...Not now, I am bloody busy! How damned inconvenient!”
~ Oscar Wilde on on being channeled

edit Rules concerning the subject material

One of the most important rules concerns the subject material of the poem. Allowable subject categories are as follows:

  • You may write about how much your school sucks.
  • You may write about how much of an individual you are.
  • You may write about how only Marilyn Manson truly understands you.

edit Rules of the Goth Poet's Craft

  • You may only write on waste paper with a black crow's feather dipped in blood.
  • If you are using microsoft word, you may only use a red gothic font in a black text box with brass thumbtacks superglued to the keypad, point up.

edit Examples of Goth poetry

I.
"How my blood curdles, When my satan jumps hurdles,
And how my heart pumps, As my lucifer jumps,
I'm frozen in time, as he crosses the line, 
Only Silver For My Beloved Beezlebub
But I Still Bleed For You"
II.
"Satan sat on a chair, eating an emo's hair,
he coughed up a lot, then sat down and chucked,
All over the Satanic Bible"
666.
NB It was Bjorkenheim, 
Elvin King phD that beat him.
Under the dead tree they fought
bled and died 
The crow picked remnants
of eyes and cock
tearing through flesh
with a hook of crooked beak
Spawn of Satan.
SATAN
My SWEET SATAANNnnnnaaaggggghhhrrrahhhhhhh...

edit Also See

-Goth Poetry

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