Gogol Bordello

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“I'd Gogol his Bordello...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Gogol Bordello

Gogol Bordello is the most supreme band in the field of New York Ukrainian punk rock. They are not so premium with english, and often must consult their seeing eye bitch to tell which city they go to next (though do not have the worry, they are not blind, only they think this). They like to go hipity hop around the world, and make their underground gypsie punk, and have you ware purple as you go and follow.

"Why you ware purple?" you say. Well, answer is simple. Even though song titled as such is not as funky-groovy as other song, it stand out because it's relation to former member Oscar Wilde. Oscar Wilde was crazy member of band, but he was a fag-muffin, and he wrote crazy song encouraging other to use their supreme penises to stick in anushole of other man, which got shortened to "Start Waring Purple, Bitch". Eugene Hütz was not pleased with this, so he said "Oscar, you are supreme duchebag, go fuck yourself." He did not listen, and instead fucked goat in Ukrainian tradition. He got away with this, but when he tried it on seeing eye bitch, dogs were barking, and he was cought. He proclaimed that in your time it was not a crime, but he still went to jail where he had a very not supreme time.


edit Eugene Hütz's Moustache

Is suspected that lead singer Eugene Hütz get his distinctive handlebar mustache after he took a walk on his backyard in his homeland Ukraine, site of the great failure Chernobyl explosion(part of Russia's "Let's See What We Can't Put a Nuclear Reactor into" Program). After that he became refugee, and used his mustache to store food and scare away hobbits, but when he shaved it for the movie "Everything is Illuminated" Elijah Wood came out from the shire to only to discover he sucked at life. It was only when Gogol Bordello Sicked the seeing eye bitch on the hobbits that this stopped.

Last year,Mr Hutz was awarded the MUSTACHE OF THE CENTURY AWARD from former champion daniel day lewis. Arthurton barthaton and his mustache came in close second. Sadly, arthurtons mustache couldent handle the stress of losing. He was found in his home dead from a self inflicted shaving,he was only 15.

edit Discography

  • Purple, it's Pretty 1999
  • You Know, Purple Would Look Nice on You 2002
  • Just because I Like Purple and Have a Mustache does not Make me Gay 2005
  • Jesus Wore Purple too you Know 2007
  • Purple is Maximum Good 2010
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