God's userpage

User:God

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Hi, I'm God.
Have a Look Around.

Creator of the Universe

TALK

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AWARDS

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ARTICLES

And God said, "Let there be userboxes." And they were good.

This user is God and they have the power of creation at their fingertips. They may kill or make plagues occasionally too.

This user has written a book.

∞ This user is an infinite number of years old. Woop-ti-doo. Main Page

This user is Single but is currently stalking someone.

And God said, "Let there be awards." And they were good.

This user created Jesus, a person originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested People. Good for them us! (If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

Supreme Being of the Month January 1 B.C.

And God said, "Why not combine thy talkpage with thy userpage so it will be more convenient?" And it was good.

Welcome!

Hello, God, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:God/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! --Hi! 01:00, January 1, 96 bya (UTC)

Gee, tha...hey wait a minute. Didn't I create you? -- God talk - contribs 01:03, January 1, 96 bya (UTC)

Unbanish us!

It was the snake's fault! --372.508.65.19 6:07, January 12, 1 B.C. (UTC)

For the last time, if another user reports you to Banish patrol with a good enough reason, then you're blocked. Sorry. Next time, go to ED if you want to eat apples. -- God talk - contribs 6:20, January 12, 1 B.C. (UTC)

Enlighten us

So I hear you're pretty hot shit up there in heaven. Any musings that didn't make it into the bible you'd like to share with us? --Dr. Strangelove 08:47, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)

Well this one time this priest was talking total shit in one of my churches, I mean, like he was really fuckin' it up, right? So he goes, "And on the 7th day, he rested!" And I'm like, "You really think that's how it happened? Naw, on the 7th day I got high and partied 'till two cops showed up at the door and told me stop. Then I turned them into a pair of studded leather boots and a clod of dirt, respectively. And after that, I partied the rest of the night through!" But this motherfucker is all like, "Don't listen to this foul voice from the heavens! 'Tis the devil trying to play tricks on us!" And I'm like, "Bitch, this is my house." And smite him. Ha ha ha, good times... -- God talk - contribs 09:00, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)

... --Dr. Strangelove 09:16, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)

Well, I guess you had to be there... -- God talk - contribs 09:17, January 3, 96 bya (UTC)

About what you said

I'm prepared to kill my son, just like you said. --Abraham (talk) 23:44, December 12, 100,000 BC (UTC)

Dude, I was joking! -- God talk - contribs 01:03, December 13, 100,000 BC (UTC)

lol --Abraham (talk) 02:14, December 13, 100,000 BC (UTC)

Hear my prayer

Dear God, please use your powers to cure my puppy's pneumonia. --Some Christian 03:45, March 9, 1954 (UTC)

What? -- God talk - contribs 03:46, March 9, 1954 (UTC)

And bless Mommy and Daddy and Johnny and my fishie, Mr. Poopy. Amen. --Little Christian 03:47, March 9, 1954 (UTC)

Stop asking me for free stuff. -- God talk - contribs 03:48, March 9, 1954 (UTC)

And please God, let me win the lottery so I never have to work again. --Lazy Christian 03:49, March 9, 1954 (UTC)

Who are you people? -- God talk - contribs 03:50, March 9, 1954 (UTC)

You don't exist.

Take that, bitch. -- "'Sup, broski?" Converse - Awesome contributions 3:36, October 1, 1954 (UTC)

Smited -- God talk - contribs 3:45, October 1, 1954

The past-tense for smite is smote, you idiot. ~ 3:49, October 1, 1954

Smote -- God talk - contribs 4:00, October 1, 1954

I am a Southern United Baptist

Does that mean I go to heaven when I die (when you decide that I don't live anymore?) --Fred Phelps Talk 04:45, January 3, 1987 (UTC)

Naw, you're goin' to hell. The true religion is Buddhism. -- God talk - contribs 05:00, January 3, 1987 (UTC)

Hey!

Why'd you huff The dinosaurs? I liked them! --Dino lovr 12:10, April 9, 65,000,000 B.C. (UTC)

See my huff reason. -- God talk - contribs 12:15, April 9, 65,000,000 B.C. (UTC)

We Will Not Let the Jews Go!

Never! --Pharoah of Egypt (talk) 06:05, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

Let them go or I send the plagues. -- God talk - contribs 06:08, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

Heh, like you actually would. --Pharoah of Egypt (talk) 06:12, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

There, I did. Are you happy? -- God talk - contribs 06:35, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

Of course not, I have a frickin' rash on my neck! But I'm still not letting the Jews go. --Pharoah of Egypt (talk) 06:41, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

Mind if I kill your firstborn? Of course, it's too late to ask since I already did it. -- God talk - contribs 06:43, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

Ehm okay, what else have you got? --Pharoah of Egypt (talk) 06:47, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

How about if I tell everyone in Egypt that your room is decorated with Ricky Martin posters? -- God talk - contribs 06:52, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

OKAY FINE I'LL LET THE JEWS GO! --Pharoah of Egypt (talk) 06:55, April 16, 51 B.C. (UTC)

Sorry

Sorry dude, I broke your stone tablets. Hope you don't mind. -- Moses (user talk) 11:34, June 4, 50 B.C. (UTC)

Okay, for that, you have to wander in the desert for another 40 years. -- God talk - contribs 11:50, June 4, 50 B.C. (UTC)

Hey ...

Hey, God, noticed you banned Judas but didn't give any reason. Last I checked, he didn't do anything wrong. Why did you ban him? --The Apostles 12:53, August 5, 5 A.D. (UTC)

He vandalized an article for 30 pieces of silver, only to give it back and QVFD his userpage... Pathetic. -- God talk - contribs 1:00, August 5, 5 A.D. (UTC)

Hey, Asshole

I'm taking over your World. It's mine soon. -- Satan 05:36, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)

Go to hell...and stay there. -- God talk - contribs 05:38, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)

Damn you... -- Satan 05:43, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)

You don't damn people, I do. And I just damned you to hell. Owned, bitch. -- God talk - contribs 05:48, October 10, 60 B.C. (UTC)

Featured User  (read another featured article)	Featured version: 19 February 2012
This user is God and has therefore been featured on the front page. — You can meet him if you ever get into Heaven.

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