God's answering service
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You’re ringing to ask me to curse a rival for the affections of your spouse/girl or boyfriend.
I’m sorry, but I think you may have misunderstood the nature of God.
Galileo, Figaro, Magnifico!
Got to love that song - I get the angels to sing it all the time - the cherubim are really good at the high part. Shame that Freddie Mercury had to got to the other place. But I hear he likes it down there!
I’ve taken a less active role in retribution over the last couple of millennia, I think age is mellowing me. These days I tend to visit cheating wives as a burning bush and let them pass it on to their fancy-men. You can still stick pins in a doll’s eyes and pray that your rival is struck blind if you like. Just don’t rely on me doing it - I don’t do the Voodoo you do. And don’t use that blow-up doll you keep in the wardrobe! Oh yeah! I see everything and that is not right!
If ever I get round to revising those commandments, I'm going to do an entire chapter on latex, I swear to Me.
Pressto return to the main menu.