God's answering service

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Virgin iPhone


07:25 PM

You are Muslim.


After all these years even Allah gets bored - interesting punishments for infidels will be rewarded.

Congratulations, there are many paths to God, but only you have chosen the one that doesn't pass through Hell first...

However, you have yet to do enough to qualify for entry to Paradise. The rules are clear - take the Haj, stone a recusant, behead some Christians - they have to forgive you and you may as well enjoy yourself while storing up riches in the Kingdom of Heaven.

In the interim, it's time to get off the booze - if you arrive with brewer's droop you'll disappoint the score of virgins with your name on them.


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