God's answering service

   1   
         

   1   
             

   2   
     ABC     

   2   
     ABC     

   3   
     DEF     

   3   
     DEF     

   4   
     GHI     

   4   
     GHI     

   5   
     JKL     

   5   
     JKL     

   6   
     MNO     

   6   
     MNO     

   7   
     PQRS     

   7   
     PQRS     

   8   
     TUV     

   8   
     TUV     

   9   
     WXYZ     

   9   
     WXYZ     

   ∗   
                     

   ∗   
                     

   0   
          +          

   0   
          +          

   #   
                     

   #   
                     

4

4

12:28 AM

Your name's not down; you're not coming in.

You appear to be inquiring about the health of your immortal soul. Heaven has eight distinct levels of service, in order to ensure that you access the correct area please chose the appropriate message from one of the following options

• Read message 1 if you are Catholic.

• Read message 2 if you are Episcopalian/Anglican.

• Read message 3 if you are Jewish.

• Read message 4 if you are Muslim.

• Read message 5 if you are Rastafarian.

• Read message 6 if you are a Jehovah's Witness.

• Read message 7 if you are Eastern Orthodox.

Press ☆ if you're a Mormon - you're way off the mark.

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