From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Glitch City is the newly-built hotel resort to be found in Florida, USA. It can be found if you drive off a cliff at Dover, if you fly to Cinnabar Island or if you piss around in the Safari Zone.
Commissioned by President George Bush, Glitch City was thought to be the greatest achievement of the modern age. It was considered the next type of 'Las Vegas meets New York' by some pompous critics. It was said to sport amazing facilities and other tourist stuff that will attract many people from around the world.
The original idea for Glitch City was conceived during the filming of the Pokemon film, Pokemon 230: The Power of Real Estate. In one of the scenes, the main protagonist enters a dream world, in which the buildings look oddly glitched and the people strangely mutated. This scene, though cut from the final draft of the film, was considered a great feat of CGI and architecture. When this scene was shown to George Bush, just to keep him amused, it gave him the idea to actually create the city from the scene and turn it into a new attraction for the United Arab Erimates. The name of the city was believed to have originated from Bush's exclamation: Sweet God! It's all glitchy and stuff!. So he christened his creation 'Glitch City'.
Upon the day of the grand unveiling of Glitch City, the American public was greeted by gargantuan skyscrapers and squat buildings splashed in conflicting colors and giant numbers. There were hundreds of night-time clubs, five-star accommodations, everything a great city needed. Hundreds of tourists and Americans immediately flocked to the city, and soon enough the new Glitch City was bustling with activity.
Though the popularity and praise of Glitch City was constantly high, it could not be denied that something strange was happening within the new city. Some tourists had been found to have gone insane after spending too long in the city. These people were confined to their rooms for fear of what they would do to other people. As to the cause of this madness, it was put down to asbestos found in the walls of the hotel.
Those people who had lived in the city for an even greater amount of time began to sport strange mutations. They began to speak in a crazed and crackled tongue. Again, the problem was put down as an accident; toxic dumping under the city.
The worst problem of all, however, was that nobody who entered Glitch City was able to leave. The entire city was surrounded by some sort of invisible force field. Those who entered could not leave at all. The local council failed to come up with any explanation, other than that the sheer glitched power of the city was slowly bending the space-time continuum, and as a result was slowly mutating the populace.
In a state of emergency, President Bush declared the city to be unclean for human population. The city, therefore, was to be set for demolition. Nuclear missiles were launched at the city, but were said to have stopped just as they reached its perimeter before falling to the ground, deactivated. Furious, Bush requested that some way be found for the city to disappear.
Luckily, the Japanese were finishing a prototype of a time bomb. This bomb could send anything within its blast radius to a completely different time zone. After a week of negotiation, the Japanese agreed to America's demands and launched the bomb at Glitch City. There was a flash of brilliant blue light, and the city was gone.
The New Glitch City
It was only later that the whereabouts of Glitch City were accidentally discovered by a young Pokemon Trainer, who just happened to have flown to Cinnabar Island, located just east of New York. When the trainer arrived at the island, he found that he had been magically transported through time to Glitch City.
The buildings were more warped and distorted, and there was new construction for more skyscrapers. The inhabitants of the city had mutated even more, some turning into glitchy ugly Pokemon creatures, others into zombies, with pinecones sucking out of their croutons.
The Trainer tried to return to the present but found that he could not, due to some sort of paradox effect he had no idea existed. The fly technique would not work for the same reason and all of the exits from the city were blocked by some sort of invisible force field.
Luckily, the Trainer managed to send his sidekick Pikachu out of Glitch City using a complex machine made out of shoelaces, cardboard tubes and a disco ball. Pikachu, once safely back in the correct time, explained the horrors and dangers of Glitch City to anyone who would listen. Curious, everyone whom the Pikachu told flew to Cinnabar Island, where they entered Glitch City and unfortunately stayed there for the rest of their lives. Eventually some more people discovered a way into Glitch City by running around aimlessly in the Safari Zone theme park in New Mexico. By now, hundreds of people had gone to Glitch City and had seen how strange it was. Builders began to arrive at Glitch city, and soon it became the main spot for tourism.
Horrors Wonders of Glitch City
Visitors of Glitch City will be dazzled by the wondrous shape and coloring of the building and invisible barriers that litter the landscape. Once you enter Glitch City, feel free to check into one of the many hotels. You may not be able to understand the clerk or the manager, so simply find a room and stay there for as long as you want.
Many people who (and will be forced to) move permanently to Glitch City will want to acquire a job. This is relatively easy as there are many unique job opportunities that are open. Many include sorting refrigerator magnets by taste, polishing pants, and washing paper towels.
Many people who live in Glitch City might tell you of their unique Pokemon. These Pokemon look like ordinary ones, except they boast rare attacks, glitchy attack sequences and may even sound completely different. This offers Pokemon trainers a whole new variety of Pokemon to catch. Many may even want to try and catch the most elusive one, Missingno, who is rumored to live in Glitch City and
stalk rape stalk rape stalk and rape the inhabitants at night.
|Pokémon:||Charmander - Grue - Hyundai - Ling-Ling - Meowth - Mew - Pichu - Pikachu - Poliwag - Snorlax - Teh Cheat - Towelie - Wobbuffet - Torchic - Yoshi|
|People:||Ash - Brock - Herman Cain - Max - Pokemon Kid - Team Rocket|
|Other:||Pikachusetts - Anime series - 100 Worst Pokémon Cash-ins - UnNews Pokémon Indonesia Special - UnNews Pokémon Rescue Special - Christian Symbology - Pokemon card - Gotta Catch 'Em All|