Giant enemy plant

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
“Attack it's weak point for massive damage!”
~ Ken Kutagari on Giant Enemies
BadPlant
Although its eyeball is an easy target, Link may get his arm ripped off attempting to attack its weak point.

The Giant Enemy Plant is considered a staple enemy in many dungeons, castle cellars, caves or similar gloomy dark area. They appear in a wide variety of shapes, sizes, colors and attack strategies without having a noticeable weak point. Notoriously dangerous, they attack with their sharp-toothed mouths (sometimes multiple), scythe-like arms, poisonous acids and toxic sludge.

edit General Appearance

The Giant Enemy Plant grows continuously throughout its life and sustains itself with sunlight, nutrition pulled up by its roots, and passing heroes, so the longer you put off fighting one the bigger it's going to get. Giant Enemy Plants usually are a dark green color, mottled with black. Poisonous ones have strange patterns or bright colors on the bodies. The subspecies piranha have a red color with spotted white. Although Giant enemy plants are in a vine shape, only the piranha subspecies has thorn-covered stems. The vines are not to be confused with tentacles, although both are capable of rape.

edit Area and Distribution

Giant Enemy Plants sprouted up somewhere in the Mojave Desert. With an abundance of sunlight and limited food to eat, Giant Enemy Plants here were at the time an easy thing to kill and get by. Until one day in year 36 of the 40 when Moses claimed triumphantly that "Lo and behold! Giant Enemy Plants pose no threat to us, as we can simply light them with fire and torch their roots." This prompted the giant enemy plants to uproot and ingrain themselves into marshlike pastures, effectively ending an era of of weakness among the Giant Enemy Plants. Current distribution puts them into water-filled dungeons and dark caves. As a sort of instinct remaining from the time of living in wide open deserts, Giant Enemy Plants search and pick out the largest and roomiest section of to take root in. To prevent dehydration they take root in water and usually pollute the water they reside in with naturally secreted poison.

edit Giant Enemy Piranha Plants

Readily identifiable by a red bulbed head with white spots, pyrus carnivorea, is native to the Mushroom Kingdom and they can adapt to nearly all climates. This subspecies is the one that has a thorny stem most of the time. They have large jaws, usually multiple heads and are not exceedingly large. They are also ill-tempered, impatient, disregard any threats to themselves and are driven by hunger to kill. People are usually perplexed as to why they are so much more dangerous than the average Piranha Plant. The reason is that, unlike their smaller counterparts, these ones aren't rooted and cannot draw nutrients from the ground. Giant Enemy Piranha Plants are an added danger because of their fireball spitting traits. Yes, these ones are not only immune to fire, they can spit fireballs at you!!

edit Dwellings

While the average Piranha Plant is not necessarily "giant" it is still very large compared to the everyday rosebush, but unlike the rosebush, which merely waits for prey to stumble into it, the Piranha Plant will actively snap at you and attempt to eat you. They tend to live inside the openings of large green pipes for the most part, ready to rush at anything that gets close to the opening. Unfortunately, what can be attributed to an evolutionary flaw in the Piranha Plants, they are unable to poke their head out of their pipes if someone is standing on the opening. This is because the bulb comes out of the pipe sideways instead of "jaws up". The muscles that open the mouth are also weak and not very helpful when dinner is lounging around your skull.

PeteyP
Petey Piranha contemplates a light snack.

edit Petey Piranha

Petey Piranha is a mutated form of the Giant Enemy Piranha Plant. With legs, arms, a big head/mouth and swim trunks, Petey Piranha is the biggest one of them all. First appearing in Bianco Hills, Petey re-appeared many more times after his "death" at the hands of Super Mario. His attacks include spitting sludge, raping them, headthrash, tornado power and strange gurgling noises. Super Mario claimed to have killed him inside a windmill with his Teletubbies around 2002. Petey however did not die and was merely making his get-away. Still a threat, Petey should be handled with extreme caution, plenty of firepower and Penis.

edit Killing One

Good luck with that, defeating a Giant Enemy Plant is no small feat, unlike the pansy Crab. Thought to be a difficult kill, defeating a Giant Enemy Crab is actually rather simple, the first thing is to get around its side, then trip one of its spindly legs (throwing it off-balance) and then give it a shove. Hopelessly stuck on its backside, a quick thrust in its weak point for MASSIVE DAMAGE. On the other hand, a Giant Enemy Plant isn't nearly as easy as this. Most likely it won't have its roots exposed but half of its body sitting in water (sometimes toxic water). Also take note of its number of heads; three or more heads will make for a hard battle. If it has this many, pick out the largest head you can spot. That is the main head that controls the other two heads. If there is no obvious weak spot, then hack away at it's neck whenever it gets close to you. If there is a weak spot such as an eyeball, then strike at it as fast as you can for as long as possible. With one head you must constantly strike with a sharp weapon if possible, such as the eye-gouging part of a hammer. A single head giant enemy plant will usually have a larger arsenal of attacks for you. So keep sharp dimwit.

edit Video Footage: Twilight Parasite Diababa

This is a video of Link battling the Giant Enemy Plant, Twilit Parasite Diababa, who makes its home at the bottom of the Forest Temple behind a large heavy locked door, which can only be opened using a hidden key somewhere in the dungeon. Diababa is the typical Giant Enemy Plant, it has two lesser heads, resides in a pool of acidic water, can spray the water and is eager to eat the bastard who woke it up while it was napping. Swiping at the lesser heads, if you pay attention, does not jar it in the least. Links whirlwind boomerang as well simply annoys the creature, which results in the main head ordering the lesser head to attack Link and hurt him. Analyzing the video, it can be concluded that if it weren't for the chattering baboon swinging back and forth with the bomb (which the main head was interested in eating) that Link would have eventually died or have been eaten.

edit Notable Giant Enemy Plants

Navel Piranha
Kamek sniggers as Yoshi prepares to fight Naval Piranha.
  • Naval Piranha- An ordinary Piranha Plant that was mutated into a Giant Enemy Plant by Kamek, a koopa wizard. Yoshi had to fight this classic, yet still intimidating, example of a Giant Enemy Plant armed with only his eggs and a stinky baby. Fortunately for Yoshi, Kamek was a bit hasty and left a weak point completely visible to Yoshi, within 9 hits, Naval Piranha had died.
    • There have been rumors that Naval Piranha was not even elevated to Giant Enemy status before Yoshi walloped them, but that's a damn lie: Kamek poked Yoshi in the eye before mutating Naval Piranha, so Yoshi could not aim very good for a while. Plus, the baby bit Yoshi's eyeball for some reason.
  • Lava Piranha- A 3-headed Piranha Plant made of paper, that can survive in lava, go figure. Anyway, it was crushed by Mario. But after it's death Lava piranha left a gaping hole in Princess Peach's basement. Mario had to do a great deal of plumbing after this event and had to pillage Whomps Fortress for the new basement floor.
  • Dino Piranha-
    Dino piranha
    Holy Hell, that's one scary Beast!!
    One of the scariest Giant Enemy Plants of all, this close relative of Petey Piranha is a force to be reckoned with. It's body resembles that of a dinosaur, and it has a seed-like club on it's tail. As for it's head, oh just look at the picture. This Giant Eenemy Plant is strange because of the fact that it does not sit in a pool of acid or lava. Also, it should be noted that Dino Piranha is only a baby. If it reached maturity, Dino Piranha could have reached up to 1,700,654 feet long.
  • Twilit Parasite Diababa- An upcoming boss, (pictured at the top) Diababa is a Giant Enemy Plant that comfortably resides at the bottom of a dungeon in a pool of acid. Link must defeat it with the help of a horny bomb-carrying monkey, for it would wreak havoc on the uninhabited dungeon behind its heavily locked door.
  • Flaahgra- 60ft tall, two scythe-like arms, spits acid water and can create poisonous plants directly in your tracks. Yep, Samus had to fight this thing. Lucky for her, it's a solar-powered Giant Enemy Plant, and can be set on fire. Pushover.
  • Whispy Woods -By far the weakest Giant Enemy Plant. The thing just shoots apples and air puffs at you. You must suck up apples and spit it back out him as stars to defeat him. What, you say you can't do that? Just take out a match or something, I don't care.
  • Triffids - Being British Giant Enemy Plants, it preys on hot young babes rapes them and eats them. When the army comes its mostly up to female she loves eating big dick. Shemales are the only thing that can defeat them, because male and female fight over who gets it and they kill eachother.
  • Morbuzakh - A plant unlike any other, one that is fed by fire rather than burned by it. This probably comes from the fact that he was Genetically engineered. The Morbuzakh was one whole plant that strangled an entire city in vines, causing great trouble to the Bionicles that lived in the city. Morbuzakh was actually chosen to be the attacking plant since his brother, Karzahni, was TOO smart, and Makuta was worried he'd be overthrown by an overgrown crabgrass weed. The Morbuzakh Asploded when the Heroes shot six magical frisbees at it.
Personal tools
In other languages
projects