From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
What Ghoststudy.com actually is, is a group of paranormal investigators who investigate emailed ghost photos sent to them by other people who claim they have photographic proof of paranormal activity present then post them on their website and say "OOGA BOOGA".
edit Growing Popularity
Ghoststudy.com began in 1997, founded by the Paranormal Research Institute of Cunt Knuckling Science (P.R.I.C.K.S) who believe that they are the leaders in studying the phenomenal entities caught on camera.
The P.R.I.C.K.S. at Ghoststudy.com have lead the way and become the fan favorite in this feild of research due to them posting every single picture they receive and agreeing that lens flare, aerosol orbs, and exhaled cigarette smoke is 100% genuine proof of the existence of boogedy boogadas.
edit Scientific Investigation
In order to confirm or not if the pictures of the "ghosts" are genuine. The P.R.I.C.K.S. undergo a class run by Dr Richard Head who teaches them that their is no logic to what those uneducated non-believers have to say about such things like, "Why is this so called Ghost in this picture wearing clothing?" Why does clothing appear on you in the after-life?". When taught to ignore that kind of detail, they are then taught the manner of "Ghosts Only Haunt Old Places and Graveyards and have no desire to go and haunt a college girls dormitory shower room?".
edit Qualified P.R.I.C.K.S
Once they have been educated that this is just a conspiracy tactic of analyzing paranormal claims, set up by the CIA in 1963 as a government cover up for the JFK assassination, the P.R.I.C.K.S are now qualified to call themselves a scientist. Much like the Boy Scouts, they are rewarded each month for their contribution with EMF readers (Electron Magnetic Field) and an Apple Mac with "Anti-Demon Possessing" Firewalls to protect them from being possessed in the case a spirit has attached itself along with any e-mail they receive of ghostly images.
edit Different Types of Ghost Pictures
Orbs are absolute evidence of life after death, no joke, they really are! Orbs are small round glowing balls that kind of look like how Glenda made her first appearance in the Wizard of Oz. Ghoststudy.com have declared that what you saw in that movie was a genuine Ghostly arrival of a real Salem Witch disguised as an actor.
Ghoststudy.com's logic involving orbs is that it is not just being something that is explainable, it involves facts that these things can not be produced or found when it is raining, when lens flare is present, dust particles attracting light, spraying aerosol cans around or sneezing. This way of thinking is just what the CIA want you to think.
edit Streaks & Motion Blur
This is also what is known as Ectoplasm, Ecto-mist, vapor, ghostly mist & ghost flatulence. These are the photos that show the presence of a ghost in motion blur format. Ghosts apparently love to rush around while people are taking photos, especially of graveyards at night time because it just seemed like a such a nice view the photographer wanted to remember forever and the ghost just wanted to bugger it up for them.
Ghoststudy.com's logic involving Streaks & Transparent Clouds is that it is a very common occurrence when a ghost flies by your cam faster then the shutter can keep up with. There is no possible way that it is simply a photo taken during foggy or cold weather, exhaled cigarette smoke, not holding the camera still enough, or just being a dumbass and having your finger over the lens or the strap of the camera is in the way.
edit Face Aporations
Aporations in windows, tree branches & TV sets are some of the most common occurrences of this type. These occurrences happen when ghosts appear in pictures, but usually only want to reveal their eyes, face etc.. but never their genitalia. They often appear in reflections or move tree twigs around to form their face for you to capture on film.
Ghoststudy.com's logic concerning this is that it can not possibly be just the human imagination at work making out what it wants to see because it just wants to believe that that is what it is seeing. Ink blot tests and cloud formation are also genuine proof of ghostly activity according the scientific P.R.I.C.K.S working for the website.
Shadows are dark and evil presences of poltergeists! They are not something that was once human. They come from an alternate universe and are here to seek possession of you or your daughter. Do not invite these things into your house or summon them by a Ouija Board.
Ghoststudy.com's logical support of evidence of these involve shadows appearing in photographs. Don't be fooled into thinking they are just natural occurrences of nature. And do not buy a Ouija Board from Amazon.com because your life is not worth $79.95 to sell your soul to demons from the universe known as Parker Brothers.
edit EMP Readings
Ghoststudy.com on occasion follows a group of
Ghostbusters fans paranormal investigators around and documents their getting a real job avoidance scheme findings on video-camera. Often the group of fakes ghost-hunters investigate places that have been around for many hundreds of years where people with psychosis who have seen unexplained events take place. These include old houses, buildings, hotels and Florence Leachman's underwear drawer. The investigators then use E.M.P (Electro Magnetic Pulse) readers to figure out where the ghost is currently playing hide and seek in the room.
Ghoststudy.com back up their claim that this is proof by saying to anybody who believes that the EMP is just picking up readings from the electricity that is all around them in things like electrical wall-sockets, electrical wiring, light-bulbs and just plain old electricity is just a stupid ass who is in denial.
edit Things That Go Bump in the Night
Hearing the sounds of a ghost are something else that can be found occasionally in videos on Ghoststudy.com. People say they hear very faint voices or loud sounds of something like cupboards being slammed or breakable objects falling on the floor. Some even hear people answering their questions in TV static or running water which is known as "White Noise". This is evidential proof that the dead are trying to communicate with us.
Ghoststudy.com believe this type of evidence is the genuine article on how to talk to the dead. They will act like monkeys and throw their own poop at you if you try to tell them it may just be an old house creaking around, voices of other living people coming out of the pipes, ripple like tremors in the ground caused by the after affects of a train or large truck passing by; or maybe just your roommate playing a gag on you. Do not underestimate the power of spiritual world being able to move objects off shelves when you're not looking, but can not manage to move a key on a typewriter and write you a note that you forgot to flush the toilet when you last used it.
edit The Other Stuff
Other things are such occurrences as lightning and funnel shaped vortex lights. This is Ghoststudy.com's way of saying a hair was sticking to the lens as the photo was taken. everything else is merely just dated photos, double exposure, fucked up print jobs, and the work of someone with some free time and photoshop at their disposal. But send your faked or screwed up negatives to Ghoststudy.com and have it posted on the site by the P.R.I.C.K.S who write a little message to go along with your photo where they agree you definitely have some unexplained activity happening in that picture and they will not deny you for one second about any rational or logical explanation as to how that may have occurred. Nope, you'll be in the draw to win a $79.95 gift voucher from Amazon.com