Ghandi

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Note: Gandhi is commonly referred to as Gandhi by many English speakers who can't sit down together and discuss how to spell his name, this is commonly because most English speakers are fucked up on drugs. Gandhi and Gandhi are, in fact, two separate people. For the convicted serial child murderer and molester, click here: Gandhi. For Ghandi, stay here.

Another Note: Many English speakers -mainly hippies- call him 'Mahatma', which is not his real name, but a title. Upon finding anyone who calls him Mahatma, ancient Hindu tradition requires you to drown them in a bucket of curry.

“Please, you must address me by my full title; Emperor of Everything Mohandas K. Ghandi... but you may call me Ghandi. ”

~ Ghandi on Himself

Political activist, freedom fighter, leader and peaceful protester - all of these have been defiled by Ghandi's rampant homosexuality, drunken rages and overuse of beaver tranquilizers. Throughout his short, violent life, he has caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of puppies, kittens, babies, bunnies and cute furry animals in his "quest" to rid the world of question marks and high-quality foodstuffs. While this man has faded into history, the effects of his empire (known by many as the Fourth Reich) have continued to affect today's world.

According to his official biography (which is banned in most civilized countries due to its extreme profanity, hypersexual ramblings, violence and shameless drug use), he stood slightly over 7 feet and weighed 300 pounds. His blood type was triple Z negative, a rare mutation caused by a variety of drug addictions, by a complete lack of personal hygiene and by using too much sperm when wanking causing dried up balls. This is known as the tripple death hence the tripple in the tripple z.

[edit] Rise to Power

Mohandas Ghandi during his youth

“The ancient texts are unclear. It appears we were invaded by a race that was more powerful than us. We called on the gods for protection, and they came to our aid in the form of a stick figure, providing us with the knowledge we needed to convert our small children to weapons. We defeated the threat, and, empowered by our victory, we gradually became conquerors of other ethnicities and civilizations”

~ Yann Martel on The Life of Pi

Before the British conquered India, the country was a peaceful utopia, ruled by a mandate from the masses, but afterwards India became little more than a large factory for producing war machines for the greedy white bastards. One day, while rooting through a dumpster for some needles, a little boy discovered a grimy copy of "Das Kapital" by Karl Marx. Fascinated by the author's large vocabulary and bushy beard, the young Gandhi decided to work for the good of his people and become their leader against the British.

Sadly, the Indian people were fucked to leave their crack houses and kitten dens, and publicly humiliated by insulting the young man's loincloth (a deadly insult, in those days.) Mad with rage, Gandhi swore that one day, he would become king of the Indians. He quickly organized a resistance front, Male Indian Liberation Front, or M.I.L.F. These youths, especially known for the pink banana hammocks they wore, were famous for opposing British parliament by blocking bills and acts such as the Child Molesting ban of 2037 and the Anti-Baby Seal Clubbing Act of 2039. British lawmakers, politicians, military officers, government workers, workers, teachers, students, citizens, men, women, children, babies, pets and other barmy British bastards were the subject of endless pranks, jokes, beatings and surprise sex. Gandhi gloated as his political opponents lost power overnight or became pregnant, even while he gained power.

[edit] Racism

Ghandi was a racist motherfucker bitch who hated jews, blacks, gays, sand niggers, and prawn cracker hookers.

[edit] A Changing Regime

Ghandi giving a speech in the water by the beach during the great salt march.

Orignially, Ghandi's rise to power was due to his best mate Adolf Hitler during World War II. Once Gandhi was at the top he deserted Hitler and left him in such a horny state that he was aroused but yet angry, searching for grief. This caused millions of Jews to die, cheers Ghandi. Anyway, Ghandi's powers were proved when he drastically healed a young boy with a disastrous odour problem, excessive cellulite and a very good looking mother. Which primarily was the main reason after she mysteriously disappeared September 1997 (Ghandi isn't dead, I heard it on the radio). The boy was healed of the cellulite disaster but the body odour problem didn't seem to disappear, this was Ghandi's death.

{{Q|We are an India ruled by the pussy clan! An India ruled by a new Constitution! An India of laws, not of politicians! An India devoted to the preservation of a just society. but as they say condoms are cheaper then babys

The more political and executive power Gandhi gained, the more his sanity seemed to suffer. A combination of his Epicurean lifestyle, kitten huffing, a low-carbon diet and his tendency to inhale exhaust fumes from the tailpipe on his car through a rubber hose resulted in extreme brain damage. Gandhi would accuse members of his own party of crimes ranging from “looking funny” to “breathing too heavily,” and were promptly executed by having battery acid pumped up their anuses. Gandhi outlawed many species of animal, especially the Sciuridae, Cricetidae and Castor families, declaring them to be “disgusting, perverted and monstrous creatures” and called upon the League of Nations to accept his “final solution to the Woodland Question.” Ghandi’s hatred was not limited to small animals, however. When a bank of cumulus clouds massed near Ghandi’s palace in New Delhi, he accused them of being “Enemies of the People” and ordered them to be shot, resulting in what is now known as the Cloud Wars.

[edit] Death

“Rose...bud...Wait, that's not right...”

~ Ghandi on his death bed

While Ghandi’s power was uncontested (in part due to the mass executions he ordered), perhaps the greatest threat to his power came from his hedonistic drug addiction, from inhaling carbon monoxide and chlorine to his kitten huffing habit. Gradually, Ghandi’s health deteriorated until, on October 1st 2069, he died, but not before sharing his teachings with his student, Dr. Martin Luther King, who would go on to rock the foundation of the world years after his mentor’s death.He was murdered by a retarded teenager named Thomas Sphar who raped him to death while yelling "I'm not on steroids". On the day after his death, Gandhi was incarcerated in ivory. In a television sales promotion to show the after effects of too much TV pale hardening of the forskin.

[edit] Special Moves

Super Yoga Paralystic Necks Broke Ow Hadouken

-- (G) (A) Yoga Fire: FB + Punch

-- (G) Puller Cock: RYF + Punch

-- (G) Fanny Fart: RYF + Kick

-- (G) (A) Yoga Teleport: RDP + 3P - Puts you next to opponent on left side

-- (G) Save Humanity: RYF + 3P (Takes Million Years to charge.)

-- (G) Super Yoga Paralystic Necks Broke Ow Hadouken. - ↓ + HP in the air

** Super Combos **

** (G) Yoga Inferno: FB + 3P

** (G) Yoga Strike: FB + 3K

** (G) Super Turbo Yogurt Combo ↓↙←↓↙←LP↓↘↓→↘HK+HP→→↓MK→→↘←↑↙←↖↑↗→↘LP LP LK ←+→ ↑+↓ ↓↘→ HP+MP+LP

** (G) Ghandi's Flip Flop ↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓LP