George H. W. Bush
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“I don't know that atheists should be regarded as citizens, nor should they be regarded as patriotic. This is one nation under God.”
~ George Bush on the 10% os people in america who are not completely retarded.
“Oh God...”
~ Straw Hat Montgomery on we elected this clown?
“If Bush was Hitler, wouldn't all the liberals be dead by now?”
~ The Rational Side of your Brain
“Oh yes! Yes! YES! *Splort*”
~ Newt Gingrich on George H. W. Bush
“My son made the same mistake with Iraq that I made with his mother...I didn't pull out in time.”
~ George H. W. Bush on his son
“We were fraternity house buddies in college”
~ Bill Clinton on George H. W. Bush
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George Hermit-Pig Walker Texas Ranger Martin Bush (born Huge Berserk Izzard Rebel Warthog) was born in 1344 in a small monastery atop a mountain. As a child he was frozen in the ice for hundreds of years, perefectly preserved. Turns out both Father and Son just loved to kick Saddam's ass.
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[edit] Biography
Eventually he got bored of this state of affairs and thawed out, whereupon he was taken to America and raised by badgers. The badgers taught him all the skills nescessary for survival, including effective fucking skills and an ability to select the edible berries on bushes - this served him well throughout his political career. Eventually his adoptive badger family were gassed and he was put in a suit - the only kind of clothing he felt comfortable with because its colour scheme reminded him of the set in which he spent his youth. It is a well known fact that he occasionally abandoned press meatings to go outside and dig up small, tasty, fungi. Everyone knows that bush wants to kill us!
Italic text===Late Career :O=== Before he left office, he played Saddam Hussein's skin flute in Kuwait and Iraq. This angered Osama bin Laden, who partnered up with Chevy Chase and Al Queda to form terrorist groups and make movies like Fletch. George H. W. Bush moved into Cloverfield, home of Homer Simpson across the street from him. When Homer's son Bart ruined Bush's garden, George spanked Bart because he said his father never did that. Angered Homer went over to Bush's house and got into a fight with him by calling him a wimp. After Homer kicked his ass, Bush moved out and Gerald Ford moved in, who was just like Homer. Ford invited Homer over to watch football and eat nachos.
In 1989 George H. W. Bush declared the start of The War on Drugs. In 1999, President Clinton reestablished friendly relations with Drugs and proceeded to perform indecent acts on a White House intern using a Cuban cigar.ASS HOLE
[edit] Family
He is the father of Michael Jackson and former Middle Earth President. He was the political partner of Ronald Reagan and inventor of Voodoo economics. He is also the illegitimate father of Oscar Wilde. After fucking the shit out of Bill Clinton, he is lived on through Jeb Bush and the greatest president in the world, George Bush.
[edit] Death
Bush died in a sky-diving accident celebrating his Eightieth birthday. His remains can be viewed from 8 A.M. to 9 P.M. at the Republican National Headquarters located in Hell.
George H. W. Bush will chiefly be remembered for enticing the United States to "read [his full, luscious] lips," and waltz with him as he whispered these sweet nothings into our ears: "no more taxes."
Did you know that George Bush is a woman who has not yet fully lost his (I mean her) virginity.
[edit] DC color change
| DC color changed. I had Zartan fightin' Flint in the back seat all the way down I95 to a mass grave. I even brought Scarlett with the boobs with the Chinese Stars on the left. I said to myself, "Just leave Zartan on the dash and burn your little fingers when you get back. Army men don't play with toys." Yeah the looks of things Army men don't do much of anything at all 'cept sleep under rows of white crosses? Well consistent with Burning Zartan black on the dashboard, those People who fought and died left they're favorite toys for a union named Peanuts.
I wasn't a man when I left Zartan on the dash, I was a man when I crushed a nut with my bare hands and swallowed the salty nut meat. GOD BLESS EVIL TARZAN. and get those fucking crosses out of here | ||
| —Cindy "Lou" Who Bush, Father's Day | ||
[edit] See also
- God-Fearing Republicans
- Jeb Bush
- Oil
- Voodoo economics
- The War on Drugs
- Badgers
- Unshaven and wiped clean
| Preceded by: Ronald Reagan | President of the United States 1989-1993 AD | Succeeded by: Bill Clinton |
