George Clinton
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George Clinton was the 42nd (and 1/2) President of the United States of America. Famous among Black People for being one of the first to become President (G-Dub was first). Became president after Walt Disney.
George Clinton was born on the windswept steppes of Cleveland in a small frame/mud hut/crowded tenement/log cabin. In school, George excelled in Advanced Astrophysics and Shop Class; he was also voted "Most Funky". Using his natural funkiness, George began his political career when he was elected to the Parliament Funkadelic.
As a member of Parliament, he sponsored many important laws, rallying the people (well, people on welfare) with the slogan "Shit, Goddamn, get off your ass and jam!” One of his first actions was to change the national anthem to "One Nation Under A Groove," a tune he composed himself after freebasing. In Parliament, George authored the first bill to legalize Marijuana, a move which was voted down. Unfazed, George simply took the paper on which the proposed law was written, rolled up a fat doob and proceeded to toke up, blowing the smoke in the face of Prime Minister Jerry Fallwell. In another bold move, Clinton sponsored a bill to create a canine powered by nuclear energy. Again, the so-called "Atomic Dog" legislation was defeated in committee (the infamous "Itty Bitty Titty Committee").
After serving 20 years in Parliament, Clinton was elected Governor of New York. In the early 19th Century, he supported the funding, and oversaw construction of the Erie Canal. Clinton decided to invest his political capital in a run for the Presidency. Clinton selected as his running mate Rick James.
President Clinton's cabinet included:
- Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasury
- Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
- Stevie Wonder, Secretary of Fine Arts
- Bill Withers, Secretary of State
- Marion Barry, Secretary of Health and Human Services
- Miss Aretha Franklin, his First Lady.
- The 9 Year Old Gutter Slut, his Second lady
[edit] Invention of Godlike Musical Genre
In 1906, Clinton revolutionized the music world by creating a genre that even white people can dance to (kind of). Funk, a fungus that has been known to grow on the brains and feet of musical geniuses (Bootsy Collins, Flea, John Frusciante, James Brown) was found in Clinton's fecal matter. No one knows why he decided to break apart his fecal matter, but it sure did a hell of a favor for music. The fungus was so potent in creativity that Clinton decided it was cool enough to roll into a joint. After smoking the joint, he called up his friend Gene Simmons and started the band, KISS. The band was deemed a failure (and still is a failure), so Clinton parted ways with Simmons and joined the experimental polka band funkadelic. At the time, Funkadelic was the goverbment's scapegoat for AIDS and Sickle cell anemia. Clinton decided that it was time to take Funkadelic to a different level by infusing his "Funk" in the bands reefer. No one survived. After George Clinton served 24 years in prison for drug possession (he got away with murder, IF THE DIAPER DONT FIT! I MUST ACQUIT!). He is currently doing nothing. George Clinton's cousins Donkey Kong and the Predator have been doing very well for themselves, forming a musical duo known for their use of excessive kongo, and skin flaying. Clinton is also co-founder of International Funk Day.
George Clinton is still seen around Detroit when he's there.
