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“It's cold here in Iowa. Let's get warm and go south to Canada, right next to lovely Laos”
“I really didn't know that China was a small town just outside Darwin”
“You could colour my map but you could never colour my soul.”
Geography is a valiant attempt to understand absolutely everything that happens on the Earth's surface. Geographers steal from Geologists, Geophyicists, Economists, Sociologists, Anthropologists, Philosophers, Physicists and Chemists to create pointless spatial analyses. As a result, Geographers know a shitload about many, many things, and fuck all about anything in detail. When being taught as a school subject, geography is known as colouring in for morons.
The Sport of Moaners
Geography can be divided into two major subsections, the first one struggles frustratingly to be a 'science' (physical geography) and the second one struggles frustratingly to be a 'social science' (human geography).
Over the years geography has continued to expand, puzzling most people while scaring others. Geographers claim their "spatialness" can solve the ails of the world, and use this as justification for pointless expeditions to Wales to study grass, flowing water, and why that cloud looks like Mickey Mouse. Other research methods include counting sheep, sampling local beverages, dancing in salsa clubs, and extensively examining the roles of gophers in our society.
Geographers often start out life as Geologists but, upon realising that 'real' science is hard, defect to the dark side and become shriveled green imitations of their former selves, relying on 'spatialness' to help explain the wonders of the world.
Geographers can generally be found in meetings having lengthy discussions about the locations of odd places, things, and phenomena--such as the tributaries to the river Wye in the UK, the hamlet of Why in Arizona, USA, or drawing maps from someone else's work.
It is also common to find geographers creating maps using data that geologists, chemists, physicists, biologists, and other scientists spent their life's work on, only to have a geographer "spatially compile" and call their own.
Geography began a long time ago. It was an attempt to quell the masses of fear for the unknown by creating elaborate stories of far away places. It then became all about exploring the areas of the Earth Europeans never thought existed, and then mapping and writing about them. But then everywhere got discovered, so it changed to explain why places were like what they were like. Initially this was all wildly unscientific, and not being able to fit into a mold of any "science", geographers got all statistical and mathematic in the 1950's . This bold move swelled many geographer's egos and they began to think they were actual scientists (even though they did not understand exactly what they were doing). Since then, Physical Geography has become so trenchantly scientific that serious discussions are currently taking place for a formal name change to Geographical Physics.
Human geography, however, realised its mistake and evolved to humanistic analysis, a.k.a. post-structuralism. It is called post-structuralism as it occurs after the structure of quantitative research, opting instead for qualitative (n.b. this shouldn't be mistaken for quality). The apparent gist is to try and see issues from the subjects viewpoint, copping off from anthropology and psychology again.
How to BEST use Geography
- As a bludge subject while in senior school. (aka, sleep and A's)
- To get laid with a HOT Geography teacher.
- To get geography teachers to buy you beer.
- Pretending to not know geography in order to piss off smart people.
- To know what the fuck the world is about.
All other reasons don't exist and should not be recognised.
Other Names For Geography
Links to other Subjects
Geography pretty much has links with every other subject that ever existed. For ease, users exploring geography's subject links are asked to simply type any word into the 'search' bar on the left. Thank you.