Gentiles

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 20:21, December 24, 2010 by Lyrithya (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
“Kill the Gentiles.”
~ Israelite warcry
George Bush smiling

A typical genital: note the small nose

A gentile is an un-circumsized genital.

Anti-Gentilism is perfectly natural. Don't worry if you hate Gentiles. Everybody hates the genitally intact people for obvious reasons. (gentile readers:- for their intact genitals)

Even God hates Gentiles.

Why God hates Gentiles

God[who?] made man perfect except he put too much clay on their genitals. So God chose as his people those who agreed to cut off this surplus clay and thus please God. Gentiles refuse to please God. Gentiles offend God. Gentiles are anathema to God. Genitals are bad. This is why God hates gentiles (according to אנטישמי משלשל זרע). Use google to translate.

How to spot a Gentile

“We have Einstein, you have Bush, nah nah nah nernah!”
~ Israelite warcry

Gentiles can be spotted by their genitals, which are intact, and frequently on display in English towns and cities on a Friday night. They also have small noses, and are less brainy than normal people.

Why Gentiles are all soooo THICK!!

They are uncircumcised.

Gentiles cause trouble wherever they go!

Gentiles eat babies and chew bubblegum and leave it on seats for normal people to sit on. Gentiles are destroying the planet through global warming.

Telling one Gentile from another

A gentile is a genital is a gentile.... and as with sheep (which are also gentiles), don't worry if you find it impossible to tell them apart. The gentiles are after all the earth's other race: a Chinese gentile looks indistinguishable from an African gentile looks identical to an Eskimo gentile and so on. All gentiles are fundamentally the same. Though, of course, lengths may vary.

Conspiracy Theories

Gentiles are thought to have major influence over, if not control of, the US government, the UK government, the EU, the UN, and perhaps even several of the world's privately owned newspapers. They are also thought to be the major cause of sexually transmitted diseases, ebola and rabies. Touching the gentiles is widely feared to result in blindness.

Gentiles breed!

Over 98% of the world are now thought to be gentiles. Oy, this is dreadful.

Gentiles come in hordes!

“We're coming to get you! We're coming to get you!”
~ Gentile warcry

If you see one gentile... you can guarantee it is part of an invading horde.

Notable gentile hordes include:

  • The Roman horde
  • The British horde
  • The Arab horde

Possible future gentile hordes include:

  • The Chinese horde
  • The Indian horde
  • The Cowboy horde
  • The Martian horde
  • The Redneck Confederation
  • The Gold horde
  • Sewer Rats
  • Emo people

What can we do about the Gentiles?

We must descriminate against gentiles wherever they are found... shun them, do not have sex with them, laugh at their knobs, and cut off their foreskins. If none of that works rest assured God will DESTROY them. So there!

Tidying your home after a Gentile has left it

Occassionally a friendly gentile may visit. To ensure this remains merely an inconvenience, simply follow these simple steps after their departure. There is no need to demolish and rebuild your entire home!

  • Liberally wash floors, surfaces, and walls in undiluted disinfectant.
  • Toilet seats and soiled cups and utensils should be replaced.
  • Send expensive electrical goods to Dimona for irradiation treatment. Mark them "Gentile house visit".
  • Most importantly, carefully check drains and nearby sewers to ensure the gentile really has left.

An example of a Gentile

The following people are thought to be of gentile origin

"Although it is widely disputed that Tom Cruise is a gentile, through rigorous research done by none other than Billy Bangme himself, it has been declared valid"

See Also

Personal tools
projects