Gentiles

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m (Undid revision 4896437 by DJ Mixerr (talk) Kind of pointless, since that's what the article is *about*.)
 
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A '''gentile''' is an un-circumsized [[genital]].
 
A '''gentile''' is an un-circumsized [[genital]].
   
[[Anti-Gentilism]] is perfectly natural. Don't worry if you hate Gentiles. Everybody hates the ''genitally intact'' [[people]] for obvious reasons. (gentile readers:- ''for their intact genitals'')
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[[Anti-Gentilism]] is perfectly natural. Don't worry if you hate Gentiles. Everybody hates ''genitally intact'' [[people]] for obvious reasons. (gentile readers:- ''for their intact genitals'')
   
 
Even [[God]] hates Gentiles.
 
Even [[God]] hates Gentiles.
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==Why God hates Gentiles==
 
==Why God hates Gentiles==
 
God{{who}} made man [[perfect]] except he put too much clay on their genitals. So God chose as his people those who agreed to cut off this surplus clay and thus please God. Gentiles refuse to please God. Gentiles offend God. Gentiles are anathema to God. Genitals are ''bad''. This is why God hates gentiles (according to אנטישמי משלשל זרע).
 
God{{who}} made man [[perfect]] except he put too much clay on their genitals. So God chose as his people those who agreed to cut off this surplus clay and thus please God. Gentiles refuse to please God. Gentiles offend God. Gentiles are anathema to God. Genitals are ''bad''. This is why God hates gentiles (according to אנטישמי משלשל זרע).
Use google to translate.
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Use google to translate. Note: If you are a Gentile, simply cutting off your own foreskin will fool no one, certainly not God. You have to be Jewish or it doesn't count. So fuck off.
   
 
==How to spot a Gentile==
 
==How to spot a Gentile==
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==Why Gentiles are all soooo THICK!!==
 
==Why Gentiles are all soooo THICK!!==
They are uncircumcised.
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It's genetic- another example of a Hebrew word meaning 'Gentile', or 'stupid'.
   
 
==Gentiles cause trouble wherever they go!==
 
==Gentiles cause trouble wherever they go!==
Gentiles eat [[babies]] and chew bubblegum and leave it on seats for normal people to sit on. Gentiles are destroying the planet through [[global warming]].
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Gentiles eat [[babies]] and chew bubblegum and leave it on seats for normal people to sit on. Gentiles are destroying the planet through [[global warming]]. 99.99% of all wars in the history of the world are caused by Gentiles, and the remaining 0.01% don't count. During [[World War II]] the Gentiles attempted to get rid of normal people by putting them in ghettoes and playing Wagner at them very loudly.
   
 
==Telling one Gentile from another==
 
==Telling one Gentile from another==
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==Conspiracy Theories==
 
==Conspiracy Theories==
Gentiles are thought to have major influence over, if not control of, the US government, the UK government, the EU, the UN, and perhaps even several of the world's privately owned newspapers. They are also thought to be the major cause of sexually transmitted diseases, ebola and rabies. Touching the gentiles is widely feared to result in blindness.
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Gentiles are thought to have major influence over, if not control of, the US government, the UK government, the EU, the UN, and perhaps even several of the world's privately owned newspapers. They are also thought to be the major cause of sexually transmitted diseases, ebola and rabies. Touching gentiles is widely known to cause allergic rashes and blindness.
   
 
==Gentiles breed!==
 
==Gentiles breed!==
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==What can we do about the Gentiles?==
 
==What can we do about the Gentiles?==
We must descriminate against gentiles wherever they are found... shun them, do not have sex with them, laugh at their knobs, and cut off their foreskins. If none of that works rest assured [[Sacha Baron Cohen|God]] will''' DESTROY''' them. So there!
+
We must descriminate against gentiles wherever they are found... shun them, do not have sex with them; laugh at their knobs, and cut off their foreskins. If none of that works rest assured [[Sacha Baron Cohen|God]] will''' DESTROY''' them. So there!
   
 
==Tidying your home after a Gentile has left it==
 
==Tidying your home after a Gentile has left it==
Occassionally a friendly gentile may visit. To ensure this remains merely an inconvenience, simply follow these simple steps after their departure. There is no need to demolish and rebuild your entire home!
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Occasionally a gentile may visit- perhaps a tax inspector or salesman. To ensure this remains merely an inconvenience and not a catastrophe, simply follow these simple steps after their departure. There is no need to demolish and rebuild your entire home!
 
* Liberally wash floors, surfaces, and walls in ''undiluted'' disinfectant.
 
* Liberally wash floors, surfaces, and walls in ''undiluted'' disinfectant.
* Toilet seats and soiled cups and utensils should be replaced.
+
* Toilet seats, soiled cups and utensils should quickly be taken outside and burned.
 
* Send expensive electrical goods to Dimona for irradiation treatment. Mark them "Gentile house visit".
 
* Send expensive electrical goods to Dimona for irradiation treatment. Mark them "Gentile house visit".
 
* Most importantly, carefully check drains and nearby sewers to ensure the gentile ''really'' has left.
 
* Most importantly, carefully check drains and nearby sewers to ensure the gentile ''really'' has left.

Latest revision as of 14:38, July 8, 2011

“Kill the Gentiles.”
~ Israelite warcry
George Bush smiling

A typical genital: note the small nose

A gentile is an un-circumsized genital.

Anti-Gentilism is perfectly natural. Don't worry if you hate Gentiles. Everybody hates genitally intact people for obvious reasons. (gentile readers:- for their intact genitals)

Even God hates Gentiles.

edit Why God hates Gentiles

God[who?] made man perfect except he put too much clay on their genitals. So God chose as his people those who agreed to cut off this surplus clay and thus please God. Gentiles refuse to please God. Gentiles offend God. Gentiles are anathema to God. Genitals are bad. This is why God hates gentiles (according to אנטישמי משלשל זרע). Use google to translate. Note: If you are a Gentile, simply cutting off your own foreskin will fool no one, certainly not God. You have to be Jewish or it doesn't count. So fuck off.

edit How to spot a Gentile

“We have Einstein, you have Bush, nah nah nah nernah!”
~ Israelite warcry

Gentiles can be spotted by their genitals, which are intact, and frequently on display in English towns and cities on a Friday night. They also have small noses, and are less brainy than normal people.

edit Why Gentiles are all soooo THICK!!

It's genetic- another example of a Hebrew word meaning 'Gentile', or 'stupid'.

edit Gentiles cause trouble wherever they go!

Gentiles eat babies and chew bubblegum and leave it on seats for normal people to sit on. Gentiles are destroying the planet through global warming. 99.99% of all wars in the history of the world are caused by Gentiles, and the remaining 0.01% don't count. During World War II the Gentiles attempted to get rid of normal people by putting them in ghettoes and playing Wagner at them very loudly.

edit Telling one Gentile from another

A gentile is a genital is a gentile.... and as with sheep (which are also gentiles), don't worry if you find it impossible to tell them apart. The gentiles are after all the earth's other race: a Chinese gentile looks indistinguishable from an African gentile looks identical to an Eskimo gentile and so on. All gentiles are fundamentally the same. Though, of course, lengths may vary.

edit Conspiracy Theories

Gentiles are thought to have major influence over, if not control of, the US government, the UK government, the EU, the UN, and perhaps even several of the world's privately owned newspapers. They are also thought to be the major cause of sexually transmitted diseases, ebola and rabies. Touching gentiles is widely known to cause allergic rashes and blindness.

edit Gentiles breed!

Over 98% of the world are now thought to be gentiles. Oy, this is dreadful.

edit Gentiles come in hordes!

“We're coming to get you! We're coming to get you!”
~ Gentile warcry

If you see one gentile... you can guarantee it is part of an invading horde.

Notable gentile hordes include:

  • The Roman horde
  • The British horde
  • The Arab horde

Possible future gentile hordes include:

  • The Chinese horde
  • The Indian horde
  • The Cowboy horde
  • The Martian horde
  • The Redneck Confederation
  • The Gold horde
  • Sewer Rats
  • Emo people

edit What can we do about the Gentiles?

We must descriminate against gentiles wherever they are found... shun them, do not have sex with them; laugh at their knobs, and cut off their foreskins. If none of that works rest assured God will DESTROY them. So there!

edit Tidying your home after a Gentile has left it

Occasionally a gentile may visit- perhaps a tax inspector or salesman. To ensure this remains merely an inconvenience and not a catastrophe, simply follow these simple steps after their departure. There is no need to demolish and rebuild your entire home!

  • Liberally wash floors, surfaces, and walls in undiluted disinfectant.
  • Toilet seats, soiled cups and utensils should quickly be taken outside and burned.
  • Send expensive electrical goods to Dimona for irradiation treatment. Mark them "Gentile house visit".
  • Most importantly, carefully check drains and nearby sewers to ensure the gentile really has left.

edit An example of a Gentile

The following people are thought to be of gentile origin

"Although it is widely disputed that Tom Cruise is a gentile, through rigorous research done by none other than Billy Bangme himself, it has been declared valid"

edit See Also

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