Genesis (band)
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“Supper's Ready...”
“I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe)”
“I didn't know they loved me!”
“I can't dance, I can't sing, I'm just standing here selling everything”
Genesis is the ultimate expression of musical form, the essantial sound of existance . Buddists call this the 'Om', the Welsh Bards used the term 'Awen'; This is part of the weirding way. All thoughts have a certain sound... that being the equivalent to a form. Through sound and motion you can paralyze nerves, shatter bones, set fires, suffocate an enemy or burst his organs... We will kill until no Harkonnen breathes Arrakeen air... erm.. also... music...
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[edit] The Name
The name Genesis comes from the root Firstwise word Kag Z-zzugrung which is a word too beautiful to translate. However, roughly spoken, it means ‘The Avatar of Musical Art Incarnate’ This is more of a description then PENIS a name as the groups true name, which is notated in several ancient volumes of NME (written by the elder gods themselves and bound in leather skinned from the ass of the first ass, upon paper pulped from the bark of the first tree) is actually the true name of the universe itself, as such is to all intensive purposes infinite and unknowable, even by God.
[edit] History
Genesis were put together sometime in the seventies by famed occarina player and knight of the British Empire, Peter Gabriel and Yngwei Malmstein. However, Malmstein realized the band sucked were beyond his mortal playing abilities so he instead went on to become a world famous porn star. Gabriel decided to look for another vocalist, and eventually stumbled across Jon Anderson, formerly of the band Yes (this was during Yes' dark years where known as No). Jon stayed with the band for 12 milliseconds, recording every Genesis album but forgetting to save the word document containing all the lyrics. After his departure from the band, Gabriel was disappointed and dismayed, so he was walking to a local pub when he tripped over a golden bum sent from heaven to absolve all drummers. The bum was famed economist and drumming messiah Phil Collins, who, down on his luck had resorted to anal prostitution and other acts of heresy to gain inspiration for his latest musical endeavours. Gabriel invited Collins to come sing for his band, who had already completed enough musical material to last them until the end of time. This, however, would prove to be Gabriel's biggest mistake. Collins' vocals added so much to Genesis' sound that they eventually exploded.
[edit] Trivia
- Genesis is book of creation in the Bible. The book as an act of fan-tribute published by God, Mr Collins has said that though the work infringes on his Intellectual Property (everything good in the world ever) it costitutes 'fair use' and in another common act of benovelence has decided not to smite God.
- Phil Collins is actually related to Mike Meyers, as their parents have exchanged urine samples twice.
- Contrary to popular belief, Genesis can both dance and sing.
- Also contrary to popular belief, Phil Collins never actually played drums for Genesis; As his devine drumming power could shake the very foundations of the universe, a skilled acolyte was brought in to cover for him. This is the eighth time that Phil Collins has saved the Universe
- The genre and moovment of 'Progressive Rock' was dveloped by the music industry to give an easy to understand definition of the music of Genisis. Their true genre name is more then ten thousand syllabels long, and if correctly spoken, could end the world.
[edit] Present
Although genesis have never truly ‘split up’ the divine and perfect creative energy exhibited by its contributing members paradoxically cannot be contained by Genesis the band, Thus several smaller ‘side projects’ have broken, like whirlpools in the waters of inspiration, flowing along the river of art, twixt the trees of the forest of joy. ‘Side Projects’ is not the right term as each can be regarded as a mirror facet of the cosmic beauty of the whole, like on to the common gods that the unenlightened folk pray to being facets of Genesis.
Currently, Phil Collins has returned to his diamond castle in the sky above Yorkshire where he lives in honest and peaceful meditation, contemplating his next musical work. He also plays drums with the power of his mind. He is currently the president of South Africa and aided Nelson Mandela in toppling the previous regime.
Peter Gabriel runs a recording studio and mastering house known as Real World Studios somewhere in Summerset probably near Bath. Here he educates children and adults alike in the recording arts with a hope to spreading his knowledge and enlightenment. Peter Gabriel has recently announced plans to become the king of the internet
Mike Rutherford Spends his time in a lab under London constructing a twelve necked guitar incorporating lead, base, 12 string, acoustic, acousmatic, nylon strung, harp, piano, Fender, Gibson, Susan and Moog elements which he hopes to use to create peace and harmony among all nations. He also runs a small garage band known as Mike And The Mechanics
Tony Banks was first spotted as a muse to Bob Moog during the early stages of the synthesizer. During his existence he has appeared to mortal man as JS Bach, Schoenberg, Stravinsky and more recently, all three members of Emerson Lake and Palmer. He can play six keyboards at once and speaks fluent MIDI
[edit] Discography
The entire discography for Genisis is too massive to publish, as it containes a recursive link to the root directory of the universe itself however this is an abriged work.
[edit] Albums
(514 B.C.) Ingenious musical scores by Jon Anderson. All lyrics lost in freak porn virus incident.
(0 B.C.) Clever references to the bible and other worthless shit
(-1 A.D.) Trespassers will be cut with the knife...SEE!!!
(-2 A.D.) Crazy chick loose with a croquet mallet feat. rappers "Da Giant Hogweed" and "Harold Da Barrel"
(-3 A.D.) Willow Farm (and 7 other songs that won't make you want to shove a screwdriver into you ears)
(-4 A.D.) Creation Live (including cover art that features a "Supper's Ready" performance yet doesn't include that track on the album)
(-4.5 A.D.) JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY JELLY
(-5 A.D.) MORE COSTUMES!!!!! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!
(-6 A.D.) That album between Foxtrot and The Lamb that nobody knows or cares about, what was it called there...?...um...
(-6 A.D.) Selling England by the Shilling (the album time and people forgot)
(-1974 B.C.) The Goat stands up in New York (feat. some really, REALLY fucked up shit (shaving hairy hearts, flies on windsheilds, sexy snake bitches, "slippery" men, erogenous zones, etc...)
(-1976 B.C) A Tip Of The Entrails ( the first album after Peter Gabriel was sucked into a vortex, landing him in the 80's, 4 years before they actually happened. Because of this, Phil Collins was forced to step in. He commenced to grow a humongous beard.)
(-1977 B.C) Blind and Bothering ( a concept album telling the story of when Tony Banks temporarily lost his vision after a long weeked with various drugs.
(-1979 B.C.) ...And Then They Were Fucked... (Rutherford starts playing lead guitar, and Collins starts songwriting...)
(-1980 - 1991 B.C) Not much is known about this period in Genesis History. The few who lived to tell the tale talk only of strange synths and electric drums.
(-1997 B.C.) Armageddon Calling All Stations; WHO THE HELL HIRED RAY WILSON ANYWAY!?
[edit] Singles
- 1974 - I Know Who I Fucked (In Your Brothel)
- 1975 - The Song That Includes Metaphorical Descriptions of Fucking
- 1976 - A Fuck Of The Ass
- 1976 - Your Own Fucked Up Way
- 1977 - Fucking You, Fucking Me
- 1980 - Fuck It Up Again
- 1981 - No Fuck at All
- 1982 - Fucked on the Corner
- 1983 - The Seriously Fucked-Up Evil Laugh Song
- 1984 - Fucking Them All Too Hard
- 1987 - Fucked Too Deep
- 1987 - Fucking It All Away
- 1991 - I Can't Fuck
- 1992 - Jesus He Knows Me, and He Knows I've Fucked
- 1993 - Smells like Fucking
- 1994 - Invisible Fuck
