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To be confused with randomness.
“What is a cynic? Anybody? I'm trying to think of something clever and it's just not coming to me.”
Steve Ballmer discovered Oscar Wildeisms in 1776, before that bastard George Washington heard about and stole credit for it. The most amazing part of this, though, is that it eventually led the way to Steve Ballmer popping out of a cake at a Microsoft meeting.
After this was accomplished, it was criticized greatly by the Christian Right who used the argument "Chewbacca is a Wookie, but he lives on Endor.." However, the argument was quickly countered with the rebuttal "homosayswhat?" To which the opposition inquired "what?" realizing only too late they had just declared themselves a homo, angrily yelling "oh fuck you guys!." The debate raged on for over 45 years before finally being settled when Chuck Norris ate all who opposed.
The natural byproduct of the human feast, Flogiston, eventually went on to become a very popular carbonated soda. It was the first soda to be sold with a spoon and lighter allowing you to freebase it. Over 70% of the population became addicted. This was seen as a great thing for the Nation as the withdrawal symptons were increased vocabulary, initiative, reading comprehension, and inability to make grammatical errors. It was eventually mandated that all people become addicted to Flogiston. Experiments in forced addiction to other drugs, such as crack coaine and watching ESPNews at three in the morning for the sixth straight half hour, even though all the highlights are EXACTLY THE SAME, proved disastrous.
By that time, the niggers had become seriously offended by the obvious racial implications. In a protest, they stormed another protest. The two protests combined and effectively cancelled each other, causing everyone to agree with everything. It was covered on FOX News, known for its extremely liberal viewpoints. The anchor for that night, Shepherd Smith filling in for Dan Rather, had this to say about the incident:
“Oh, God, the flashbacks... the flashbacks... I'm having the flashbacks again... get daddy his pills and lock him in his panic room.”
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However, there were also major supporters. Noted homosexual Fred Phelps, owner and operator of the GodHatesStraights.com website, showed his support by setting up a small tent city outside of a Wal-Mart. He and his supporters sayed there for years, eventually intermarrying and giving birth to Super-Inbreeds, children that were born with the ability to say "y'all see the race sunday?" and never learn a single new word through the rest of their live. They led boring lives, but were at least kept informed on the happening of NASCAR at all time.
Oscar Wilde used the event as inspiration for his famous 45-line poem, In Da Closet. The work went on to great acclaim and is now taught in almost every 9th grade English class in the Nation, instilling a deep hatred in every student of not only literature, but also politics. In a government that requires total ignorance of the citizens to function unimpeded, this is hailed as a great achievement. In fact, Senator Prince illustrated this concept best when he huffed a kitten live on C-SPAN. Everyone agreed it was really mean of him and demanded he apologize, to which he said "fuck day shit, nigga!" in his worst Dave Chappelle reference.
EUROIPODS!
