Geddy Lee

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“What's all this aboot then, eh?”

~ Geddy Lee on Geddy Lee

“The way out is a way in”

~ Geddy Lee on Anal Sex

“Show Don't Tell”

~ Geddy Lee on Penises

Geddy Lee (Born June 66, 2112 B.C.), is the Allah of bass guitarists from the magical, unknown/uncared about land known as Canada, where the sweet, precious syrup called "Maple" which many people like to put on their pancakes/waffles flows from trees, people beat the crap out of each other with L-shaped sticks on a bed of ice over a tiny black disc, and mysterious, strange creatures called "Moose" roam the land.

Geddy is often referred to as Obukitu. Most of his songs are about Suzukistahn.

He is also currently the bass player and vocalist for heavenly rock band Rush (they had nothing to do after the battle of 2112 B.C. so they formed a rock band). During the battle of 2112 B.C., Geddy teamed up with invisible guitar player Alex Lifeson, and his bitch's (Buddy Rich's) cymbal cleaner Neil Peart. w

He is credited with killing Mohammed, O RLY, and Oscar Wilde (though this can neither be confirmed nor denied) when he lured him to sleep with his Barry White impression, then killed him with three pink flaming balls, two of which were his own, explaining his castrati voice. When he is not landing gigs, huffing kittens or practicing Atheism, Geddy teaches at the Academy of the Flaming Arts, where he teaches his pupils the techniques he used to kill Mohammed and other people, as well as other cool techniques with swords, fire, ice, and applesauce.

For some reason, when he formed a rock band with Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart, they decided to make Geddy the vocalist.

Contents 1 Early Life 2 Travels 3 Trivia 4 Singing Powers 5 See Also 6 Notes

[edit] Early Life

Geddy Lee was born Geddyeddywala Leeamallah Wineraunelbib on June 66, 2112 B.C., in Moosenosehair Valley, Eastern Canada. His mother, Sue Ellen was a poor peasant woman originally from Antarctica who came from a family of penguin herders. His father, Tyrone Jelamangelo Wineraunelbib was the God of Timishu mountain in Southern China. Geddy's parents both moved to Canada several years before Geddy was born, and met/fell in love/married when they both were questing for the precious Maple Syrup which comes from the legendary tree of the same name, and is known by native Canadanians to make everlasting delicious pancakes.

Geddy's birth was a miraculous one, as he came out of his mother's womb a fully grown adult. Moments after his mother finally managed to push him out (after an 83 hour labor, I might add), he stood up, grabbed a scalpel from one of the terrified doctors, cut his own cord, apologized to his mother, and ran off naked, never to be seen or heard from his parents again. He lived in the woods for two weeks, where a group of gnomes taught him the bass guitar (as he was/is a semi-God, it only took him two weeks to become the Allah of bass players). After he had mastered the bass guitar, he began his his training for the Battle of 2112, in which he fought with vigor, intensity, valiance, and lunacy. His famous quote "LOOK AT MY FACE!!!!" is from during the battle, which he screamed at the top of his lungs. Every soldier in the battle but two (his future bandmates Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart) did then look at his face at that very moment, and they all dropped dead on the spot. And that's how the Battle of 2112 was won... Or lost.

[edit] Travels

Several years after the famous battle of 2112 B.C., Geddy became an avid explorer, determined to visit every planet in the solar system at least once, which he succeeded to do in 1562 by taking an astronomical ride on his trusty and signature double-necked Rickenbacker bass guitar. According to Geddy himself, as well as other sources, no illegal drugs were involved. In 1857, he went exploring the far east in search of Xanadu, a lost city which was built by Kublai Khan when our weary world was young. Kublai Khan was defeated by Wrathof Khan when the struggle of the ancients first began and subsequently moved his empire to Las Vegas. Geddy, (or "Geddy Bear" as is his nickname), found the ancient ruins of Xanadu, expecting to find the sweet honey-dew that was the secret of immortality. He found it, but only added 5 minutes to his life and gave him a lot of gas. This was because Kublai Khan's refrigerator of immortality had been without power for thousands of years, and the honey-dew had gone sour. Fortunately his gas added extra low end to his bass sound enabling him to discard his amps in exchange for washing machines.

Geddy Bear was later thrown into the future, where he brought rock and roll back to civilization and defeated the Solar Federation by merging with an electric guitar he had found behind a waterfall ^[1] and becoming a goliath Mecha. He defeated the horrible priests of the Temple of Syrinx and their Beatles.

[edit] Trivia

• Geddy Lee's Fender Jazz Bass was crafted from unicorn blood by dwarfs in the ninth circle of hell.

• Geddy Lee is best known for his nose.

• Geddy Lee (being Jewish) was caught by Nazis in World War II and escaped. As a way of revenge, Geddy formed the band Rush to "deafen all Nazi followers and their children's children." He named the band Rush because it is the start of Russia, therefore linking his hate of Nazi and USSR regimes.

• Geddy Lee crushed his balls in a freak "accident" involving several dumb bells and a lesbian. That is the explantion for his insanely high voice.

• Geddy Lee would rather be a tortoise from Galapagos, or a span of geological time.

• Geddy Lee is currently workin' them angels overtime in a sweatshop in China.

• Geddy Lee has dined on honeydew and drank the milk of paradise.

• Geddy Lee has a dog named Fender.

• Geddy Lee plagiarized the radio with musical airwaves, which in fact DID NOT crackle with life, but rather with choice.

• Geddy Lee was widely recognized as a doomsday weapon when he sang after sucking helium out of a balloon. (The pitch is too high for humans to hear, of course, but over 367,000 Canadian dogs exploded nationwide during the government tests).

• Geddy Lee has been known to be a frequent visitor of Claymore Mine, Hachenmota, and Not Syrinx.

• Geddy Lee is not you.

• Geddy Lee has appeared in the comic strip Bloom County on numerous occasions.

• Anyone who shakes Geddy Lee's hand will die (eventually).

• Geddy Lee is known to randomly message people online, claiming to be Geddy Lee, while screaming "LOOK AT MY FACE!"

• Geddy Lee is also known to transform into his ultimate form, the Geddy Yeti, when angered.

• Geddy Lee moves pictures.

• Geddy Lee gives signals to owls that he is leaving on an airplane.

• Geddy Lee can fit into a clothes dryer, a feat he often performs during concerts.

• Geddy Lee is also responsible for the reestablishment of the USSR.

• Geddy Lee once forced five midgets to line dance in front of the Washington Monument to the tune of "Oh Shit, Here Comes Roger Waters."

• Geddy Lee once ate his own left foot, but it grew back.

• Geddy Lee is often called a working man. I guess that's what he is.

• Geddy Lee doesn't walk, he quantum leaps forward.

• Geddy Lee sees red. It hurts his head. He's got Mars on the horizon.

• Geddy Lee can hit the white note with his voice, causing unimaginable ejaculation.

• Geddy Lee is the only known human being to look and sing like a white woman, but play the bass guitar like a black man.

• Geddy Lee was also a great philosopher, seeing as he was the only person to figure out that you can't have freedom for free.

• Geddy Lee is the only member of Rush to have successfully inhaled a live chicken.

• Geddy Lee is the only man who knows how to do an "Acid Rain" dance

• Geddy Lee is the Supreme Leader of the Hallowed Empire of Syrinxia

• Geddy Lee was mayor of Tulsa for 12 seconds.

• Geddy Lee once watched the Discovery Channel for 21.12 consecutive hours.

• Geddy Lee always sits in Red Sector A at Blue Jays games.

• Touching Geddy Lee's skin is like caressing steel.

• Geddy Lee is part four of a trilogy.

• Geddy Lee doesn't make like a tree and "leaf," he makes like a tree and forms a union and demands equal rights.

• Geddy Lee is capable of flight, but only does so at night, unless in Bangkok when he does so by morning light.

• Geddy Lee was a gangsta rapper for a brief period in 1992.

• Contradictory to popular belief Geddy Lee is sexy. VERY sexy.

• Geddy Lee's name came from his grandmother. His real name is Leddy Gee, but his grandmother had trouble pronouncing it: it always came out as Geddy Lee. So his parents simply renamed him.

• Geddy Lee is forced to pretend that strangers are long-awaited friends.

• Geddy Lee will one day inherit the world, but then realize it's a far cry from the world he thought he'd inherit.

• Geddy Lee's voice used to sound like Barry White's until one day his balls were crushed when Neil Peart's drumkit fell on top of him in a freak accident.

• Geddy Lee plays fast forward for as long as he can but he won't need a bed - he's a digital man.

• Geddy Lee can defeat the Beatles any day of the week with his pinky while singing "OF SALESMEN"

• Geddy Lee is the only man to have ever beaten Chuck Norris in a 'Melon Off.'

• Geddy Lee's uncle is a wealthy land owner whose passion is keeping Red Barchettas as new for 50 odd years. Yet he cannot drive it due to the Motor Law. Sadfaec.

• Geddy Lee does not need a bass amp; he plugs it into his belly button and amplifies it out of his mouth.

• Geddy Lee's bass is also known as "Cranathor, the Sun-Crusher" in some regions of the galaxy. Its signature sound comes from the damned souls trapped within. It also functions as a time machine, activated when Geddy plays the 2112 Overture.

• Geddy Lee once killed a man by playing the drum, guitar, synth, and bass parts to YYZ on his bass both backwards and forwards, opening a wormhole inside his brain to a dimension of pure evil, shattering his entire existence and causing his body to rip itself apart. This man...was Adolf Hitler.

• Geddy lee is apparently the anthem of the mind.

• Geddy lee's uncle once gave him a red Car, which he then chase some robots with, then crushed down into a microchip, inserted it into his left leg and wrote a song about his experience with said car/microchip.

• Geddy Lee once played every instrument in Rush at the same time. He only Got 2 more players to "Mix it up"

• Geddy Lee visits Lakeside Park on the 24th of May to see the fireworks display. He also visits on Bastille Day to drink from the Fountain of Lamneth with his friend the Necromancer, who is thinks he's going bald unfortunately.

• Geddy Lee lives in a place between the sun and moon that not too many know about.

• Geddy Lee realizes the spaces in between leave room for you and I to grow.

• Geddy Lee has come to slay the dragon, come to watch him fall.

• Geddy Lee is an honest man, and is extremely endangered.

• Geddy Lee can raise his eyes to Earthshine.

• Geddy Lee is often unsure if he had a dream, or if the dream had him.

• Geddy Lee flys by Night

• Geddy Lee once got his snowdog and his old enemy Bytor to fight it out over a lost sign of eth, while they fought in candle light right near the river styx and the tobes of hades

• Geddy lees mother once told him to stop his Monkey business, BUT SHE SAID NOTHING OF HIS MAIN MONKEY BUSINESS!!!!!!!!

• Geddy Lee eats out of the Larger Bowl.

• Geddy Lee has a Heart Full of Soul.

• Geddy Lee often raises fusses and hollers about working during all summer just to try to earn a dollar.

• Geddy Lee has a road map of Jupiter, a radar fix on the stars, a star map of Hollywood, and a list of cheap motels.

• They call Geddy Lee The Seeker. He's been searching low and high, but he won't get to get what he's after until the day he dies.

• When Geddy Lee was a boy, he thought about the times he'd be a man. He'd sit inside a bottle and pretend that he was in a can.

• Geddy Lee is a New World Man.

• Geddy Lee will pay the price, but he will not count the cost.

• You sometimes drive Geddy Lee crazy, but he worries about you.

• Geddy Lee believes that what he's feeling changes how the world appears.

• Geddy Lee looks down into a million houses and wonders what you're doing tonight.

• Geddy Lee was lined up for glory, but the tickets sold out in advance.

• Geddy Lee hates what half the world does every day.

• Geddy Lee gets on with it anyway.

[edit] Singing Powers

Geddy Lees' high pitched voice has had a profound effect on Mythical creatures of Ancient Greece, including that of Pan's lover, Syrinx. At a whim, it has been recorded that Lee can summon mythical animals by singing 92 cents above the highest E flat, the exact opposite on the grand scale as the Brown Noise.

GEDDY LEE OWNS ALL.

[edit] See Also

• Neil Peart
• Poland
• Alex Lifeson
• Teenagers
• Beer
• Germany
• Daddy goodfeeling

[edit] Notes

1. ^  He never satisfactorily explained how he got the guitar out from behind the waterfall without ruining it.