Gazebo

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“You must face the Gazebo alone.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Gazebo

The Gazebo is a fearsome creature of legend, fought by Beowulf in his self-titled epic poem:

"And Beowulf walked into the garden, and he beheld the Gazebo. The Gazebo did not move. Beowulf drew his bow taut and fired upon the Beast, but it made no reaction. Fear crept into Beowulf's heart as he fired again ..."
Gazball

A Gazebo Egg on its pedestal. Its mother can be seen in the reflection.

Physiology

Gazebos are very large creatures, some growing as large as small houses. Gazebos start their lives as eggs. These eggs are very shiny and perfectly round, and are placed atop small pedestals in the middle of their native yard. Shortly after hatching, the young gazebo, also called a Trellis, covers itself in plant material as camouflage, while living off of small animals such as puppies and kittens that wander too close. Gazebos reach maturity at around 3 years. Young adults are typically only 3 meters high, with a diameter of 4 meters. Some gazebos, however, can grow up to 5 meters high and 10 meters in diameter. One species, the Emperor Gazebo, can grow to an incredible 50 meters in height.

Stages of Development

The Gazebo goes through 5 basic stages of development.

Gazebo-stages
  1. Hatchling Trellis - These trellises are small, and often hide themselves against fences, and, much like a chameleon, are colored to match their surroundings.
  2. Juvenile Trellis - At the second stage, the young trellis has two legs and a roof, and begins to resemble a gazebo. During this stage, the trellis covers itself in foliage to camouflage itself.
  3. Young Gazebo - At this phase, the trellis is offically considered a gazebo. It has a well defined roof, and more than two legs.
  4. Adult Gazebo - Now the gazebo has more legs, and has become sexually mature. Gazebos at this stage begin to seek mates, and pedestals on which to lay their eggs.
  5. Mature Gazebo - The final stage of gazebo life is the Mature Gazebo. The gazebo now has a floor, many legs, and a much more defined roof. The gazebos grow larger from this point, but maintain their basic shape.
Ufo vln

The much feared Emperor Gazebo in all its glory.

Habitat

The Gazebo lives in small parks or in large private lawns. It is believed that the creatures feed on small children found in these areas. Gazebos are capable of remaining still for days and weeks at a time, waiting for its prey to wander into its grasp. When a potential meal gets near, the gazebo lashes out violently. Gazebos that live in parks have been known to save their food, storing it in metal cages, known as monkey bars.

Encounters

Due to the untamed ferocity of the beast, it is recommended that you avoid confrontation with Gazebos if at all possible. However, in some circumstances, a confrontation cannot be prevented. Gazebos predate with extreme disregard for their own well-being, only surrendering its prey upon the gazebo's own death. Any exchange with a gazebo is a fight to the death. With that in mind, the only reliable means destroying one is to light it on fire. Preferably, this fire should be produced by a flame-emitting device such as a flamethrower or a battlemage. Striking the creature with Crossbow Bolts of Slaying or Hackmaster +12s produce very little effect, and, while it is theoretically possible to kill a gazebo this way, the number of strikes required is enormous. By such time, the creature will have killed the would-be gazebo-slayer.

Cultivation

As man turns to nature for further sources of medicine and innovation, the conglomerate known as Home Depot innovated a domesticated gazebo farming program. Studies into useful applications of gazebos have yielded little results. Gazebo shavings were found to have half the sodium of traditional bacon bits, yet twice the cholesterol and itchiness. Also in the 1990’s a resin was boiled and distilled from gazebo genitalia then put into aerosol cans and marketed as “spray on hair”, the idea generated little revenue. The only profitable use yet to be found has been selling pulverized gazebo eggs to elementary schools for arts and crafts.

Natural Enemies

The Gazebo has few known natural enemies. Among them are:

Food Sources

While the gazebo preys mostly upon small creatures, it has also been known to eat some varieties of plant. Below is a list of things the gazebo may prey upon.

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