Gay bomb

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“The Geneva Convention bans such warfare? Who cares! It just means more stable-boys for me.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Gay bomb


Gay Film

'Gay Bomb' was the final film in Spielberg's apocalyptic trilogy. The first and second were known for their B-movie feel.

The Gay Bomb was one of Steven Spielberg's early films. Before he became Mr. lookie-me-Im-a-big-shot thanks to films like "E.T." and it's sequel "E.T. returns- as merchandise!", he scraped a living making pornos and rather campy sci-fi flicks, most of which he'd rather forget.

"The Gay Bomb" is an exception. Delving deep into the then current trends of apocalyptic post-modernism and nascent sexuality, Spielberg put in a good number of months and kidney stones to see this film crafted to his levels of excellence.

It tanked. Everyone hated it, even his mom. This made him a bitter cynic. "Hey, why don't I give these motherfuckers the truckload of crap they deserve," he thought. "How 'bout a film where everyone dies, yeah, and I'll toss in a stinking squid!" Thus Jaws was born. Since all the squid props were being used in Hentai films, he settled for a shark.

Seeing how successful it was, Spielberg continued pulling ideas from deep within his ass (using tiny hooks attached to thin strings), leading to movies like 'Indiana Jones', 'War of the Worlds' and 'Titanic' (James Cameron's bunghole was running a little dry, so he borrowed a nugget or so).


edit Plot

Since its invention in 1945, the US Army used the gay bomb on all its enemies, including the Nazis,the slants, the Viet Kong, Saddam and Al Gore.

The first gay bomb was dropped on Hiroshima by a flamo bomber, the Enola Gay. Hundreds of thousands died, and the rest ran to the YMCA for first-aid, even though it was two cities away. Others crowded steel mills seeking employment.

In Vietnam, Agent Orange was coupled with Agent RAINBOW. The strategy backfired. The hyper-horny Viet Kong became the first battle rapists.

The gay bomb had an unusual effect on Gore. His affections turned away from men, towards the earth. He now violently shags any hole in the ground, and especially enjoys golf.

edit Unanticipated Consequences

Some gay bomb tests on US soil may have affected Americans. As average Joes turned into faggots, distressed and patriotic rich Republicans sought a cure. This came in the form of the AIDS Bomb, a canonized STD that attacked fags, punishing them every time they had some of that unnatural vile buttsecks. To date, this bomb has killed millions.

This project backfired too. Robert Mugabe stole some AIDS Bombs and gave them to his battle rapers. This deadly weapon infected about thirty million straight Africans (equivalent to three million Americans).

Gaybomb1

A still from the film. If I told you why a gay cowboy had a missile for a dick, I'd be spoiling it for you, wouldn't I?

edit Future Projects

The Gay Bomb has sprouted many sister projects. A straight bomb is being developed, as an alternative to the AIDS bomb. A lesbian bomb is also being considered to deal with fat ladies.

It has recently been proven by leading South African researchers that AIDS Bombs are powerless against showers. This has lead to the development of a Super AIDS Bomb.

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