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The Radical Gay Agenda
On March 1, 1987, the 120th anniversary of the admittance of Nebraska into the Union, a committee led by Larry Kramer produced the radical gay agenda. This radical reformulation of the gay agenda included:
The Fabulous Gay Agenda
The Fabulous Gay Agenda (also known as the "Vast Gay Conspiracy") was produced by the CONGPPWGT (Committee of Non-Gay People Preoccupied with Gay Things) on April 19, 1996 to commemorate the 1st anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombings. This agenda included:
- Promote C++
- Increase our dependence on foreign oil, or bacon. I forget which.
- Gradually decrease the quality of Uncyclopedia to the point where lame-arse gags like this can be included.
Followers of the Fabulous Gay Agenda came to worship comedian Paul Lynde, who was the "centre squirrel" on the "popular" television show "Hollywood Squares". They came to worship Hollywood, believing it to be controlled by the Fantastic Gay Agenda. (Homosexuals had previously achieved high positions in the entertainment industry, but not agents. Rather, they were freelance contractors of another gay sub-agenda.)
Gnarly Gay Agenda
- Get oil checked.
- Mow the lawn.
- Pick up Beer and bacon from the store.
- Trim beard.
- Punch Fred Phelps in the face.
- Get motorcycle to the Garage.
- Get to the bar.
- Stop neighbour's car with my own BEAR HANDS.
- BACON DREAMCATCHER!
- Pick up David from the Quarry.
- FUCKING SEX.
The Bear-Bear Agenda
A surprising amount of bears (of the gay variety) also happen to be Bears (of the Yogi and Boo Boo Variety). A modified agenda was written for them.
agents of the gay agenda
Many seemingly normal figurines in history have been secret proponents of the gay agenda most notably Judy Garland who encouraged followers to "make the yuletide gay and follow the brick road and is evoked to this day in selected theatres.