Gamera

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Gamera.
“Me love the eso Gamera.”
~ Spanglish Woman on The Gameras

Bobby Gamera, (or simply Gamey) is a big turtle monster that lands in Japan again and again. He has habit a of flying and crashing into buildings and planes. His about 4260 meters 13542 tons in weight (according to 12 year old blond Americans).

Early life Of Gamera

The Gameras are a reptilan bloodline of the Illuminati. They started attacking Japan in 1923 with Bobby Gamera, Hose Gamera, Violet Gamera (that earthquake was a lie by Wikipedia!). The Gameras were unforgiven until in 1926 they had an interview in "Good Morning ASIA!" The statment was that the Gameras went to the wrong direction and were going to attack Central Korea. Eventually in 1965, the family went on to a film career. A tragic thing happen to the Gameras during filming when Violet Gamera, and Hose Gamera died because they had reptilian skin cancer do the coldness of the studio, which fucking filthy rich bastard Bobby Gamera left poor Bobby Gamera by himself.

Peak of his career

At the age of 13, Gamera's first film failed at the box office, but later he was accepted to the highly anticipated Japanese sitcom "Obama Hit Katsu Hito No Kilegile" or "Osama hit Kastu Hito in Face". The show was mainly dark comedy about helpless people trying to escape from there ugly memories. Gamera spent about 13 years in the show until he was replaced by Godzilla, who played Gamera in the later 2 seasons. After being fired from the show, Gamera played Hitogoloshi (Duke Nukem) in the movie "Osama shite no hito" Hitogoloshi was Gamera's most popular role of the time, which started up his acting career that ran from 1978 to 1995. One of the biggest hits were of the Gamera movies were Togikame (translation: "Those alien bastard stole my GUUMMM!!!!") based on the the soap opera of the same name.

Gamera had a small run on the shows Friends, Frasier, and Ghostwriter until he got fired for eating the props and caught on tape drinking.

Abilities

Gamera has a wide range of abilites, many depicted in movies such as speech, flying, swearing, and laser eye beams. He often uses these ablities together, as he is easily able to fly at high speeds while blasting lies, but in a good fashion. This drains the villians health by 50%! He could take on 35766748456 cockroaches (but 35766748457, his screwed). Despite this, grues would easily demolish him, but the power of extreme sarcasm (this only happenes when his energy bar is full) can defeat anything!

Personal Life

Alligator Snapping Turtle

A shot of Gamera going bezerk on the camera man.

“I used to waste my time going to school.”
~ Gamera on His personal life
“My favoite color is brue
~ Gamera on favorite color

Much of Gamera's personal life involved going over scripts of his upcoming movies and doing pranks on Richard Dawkins. He stopped doing this because Christians are suppose to live in harmony. He then sued Jimmy Wales for being Jimmy Wales in 1989. Gamera was married to his cousin, Aremag. Aremag birthed 3 children, named Gamera jr., Aremag jr., and Aremagamera.

Filmography

This is a list of all films that had Gamera as the main character:

Cootesturtle1

Gamera in Live Free or Die Hard.

  • "Osama shite no hito (Do I look like an ammo box to you?)" 1978
  • "Togikame (Those alien bastard stole my GUUMMM!!!!)" 1982
  • "Siko mi Diko (The Amazing Cow-Boys)" 1983
  • "Leda ir di hared (Live Free or Die Hard)" 1984
  • "Naze sono wakusei beki gan'yu Gamelu (Gamera pwns the Internet)" 1986
  • "Ni Agune! (Not Again!)" 1986
  • "Sono kulo maluse ni Wite maluse (The Black Man and White Man)" 1988
  • "Gamey X Sune (Gamera vs. Sun!)" 1990
  • "Gamueri (Gamey vs Wikipedia)" 1992
  • "Gamey X thungy (Gamera vs. Thingy)" 1992
  • "Gamey X Kyojin hitogoloshi olochi (Gamera vs. Super Mecha Death Christ 4.0 Beta Bitch!)" 1993
  • "Gamueri X Drugen Vumparie Thung? (Gamey vs. Dragon Vampire Thing?)" 1994
  • "Gigantor Tutle X Muexican Juseus Hitler! (Giant Turtle vs. Mexican Jesus Hitler!)" 1994
  • "Gamey X Segata Sanshirō (Gamera vs. Segata Sanshiro)" 1995
  • "Gamey X Gojira (Gamera vs. Godzilla)" 2012

Death

In of 1995, Gamera ended up in a tragic accident. The famous actor was fighting against Segata Sanshiro and ended up going to the hospital, but tragically couldn't pull through. Gamera had also been addicted to un-healthy products to eat such as Condom, cooked toothpaste, and etc. Later the fans and family went on, forgetting Gamera and his crappy acting and films his masterpiece of acting and his films.

see also

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