For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Gamera.

Bobby Gamera, (or simply Gamey) is a big turtle monster that lands in Japan again and again. He has habit a of flying and crashing into buildings and planes. He is about 4260 meters and 13542 tons in weight according to Iron Chef.

Early life Of GameraEdit

The Gameras are a reptilan bloodline of the Illuminati. They started attacking Japan in 1923 with Bobby Gamera, Hose Gamera, Violet Gamera (that earthquake was a lie by Wikipedia!). The Gameras were unforgiven until in 1926 they had an interview in "Good Morning ASIA!" The statment was that the Gameras went to the wrong direction and were going to attack Central Korea. Eventually in 1965, the family went on to a film career. A tragic thing happen to the Gameras during filming when Violet Gamera, and Hose Gamera died because they had reptilian skin cancer do the coldness of the studio, which fucking filthy rich bastard Bobby Gamera left poor Bobby Gamera by himself.

Peak of his careerEdit

At the age of 13, Gamera's first film failed at the box office, but later he was accepted to the highly anticipated Japanese sitcom "Obama Hit Katsu Hito No Kilegile" or "Osama hit Kastu Hito in Face". The show was mainly dark comedy about helpless people trying to escape from there ugly memories. Gamera spent about 13 years in the show until he was replaced by Godzilla, who played Gamera in the later 2 seasons. After being fired from the show, Gamera played Hitogoloshi (Duke Nukem) in the movie "Osama shite no hito" Hitogoloshi was Gamera's most popular role of the time, which started up his acting career that ran from 1978 to 1995. One of the biggest hits were of the Gamera movies were Togikame (translation: "Those alien bastard stole my GUUMMM!!!!") based on the the soap opera of the same name.

Gamera had a small run on the shows Friends, Frasier, and Ghostwriter until he got fired for eating the props and caught on tape drinking.


Gamera has a wide range of abilites, many depicted in movies such as speech, flying, swearing, and laser eye beams. He often uses these ablities together, as he is easily able to fly at high speeds while blasting lies, but in a good fashion. This drains the villians health by 50%! He could take on 35766748456 cockroaches (but 35766748457, his screwed). Despite this, grues would easily demolish him, but the power of extreme sarcasm (this only happenes when his energy bar is full) can defeat anything!


This is a list of all films that had Gamera as the main character:


Gamera in Live Free or Die Hard.

  • "Osama shite no hito (Do I look like an ammo box to you?)" 1978
  • "Togikame (Those alien bastard stole my GUUMMM!!!!)" 1982
  • "Siko mi Diko (The Amazing Cow-Boys)" 1983
  • "Leda ir di hared (Live Free or Die Hard)" 1984
  • "Naze sono wakusei beki gan'yu Gamelu (Gamera pwns the Internet)" 1986
  • "Ni Agune! (Not Again!)" 1986
  • "Sono kulo maluse ni Wite maluse (The Black Man and White Man)" 1988
  • "Gamey X Sune (Gamera vs. Sun!)" 1990
  • "Gamueri (Gamey vs Wikipedia)" 1992
  • "Gamey X thungy (Gamera vs. Thingy)" 1992
  • "Gamey X Kyojin hitogoloshi olochi (Gamera vs. Super Mecha Death Christ 4.0 Beta Bitch!)" 1993
  • "Gamueri X Drugen Vumparie Thung? (Gamey vs. Dragon Vampire Thing?)" 1994
  • "Gigantor Tutle X Muexican Juseus Hitler! (Giant Turtle vs. Mexican Jesus Hitler!)" 1994
  • "Gamey X Segata Sanshirō (Gamera vs. Segata Sanshiro)" 1995
  • "Gamey X Gojira (Gamera vs. Godzilla)" 2012


In of 1995, Gamera ended up in a tragic accident. The famous actor fought against Super Mario and ended up going to the hospital, but tragically couldn't pull through. An appetizing autopsy by Iron Chef revealed Gamera had become addicted to oceanic medical waste, huffing Condom, toothpaste, and prescription painkillers.

See AlsoEdit