> lift the pointy-eared buggers' sword off the hooks with my hands - pretty please?
Look, buddy. When I said "You can't get ye sword!" I meant that you cannot get the sword. It is not possible for you to get the sword. Getting the sword is not an option. It is unachievable (Who do you think you are!? The Hero of Time?!). It is a tautology that you cannot get the sword. No matter how much you try to get the sword, it will not ever succeed. So stop asking me.
Oh, you mean you want the reason why you can't get the sword? Well, ye sword 'tis hung so far up ye wall that thou shalt not graspeth ye sword even if thou dost standeth on thine tippy-toes. SO THERE.