You press the "Open" button on the portal opener devise. A portal opens in front of you and you walk through it.
> Status report
Who do you think you are, Master Chief? Anyhow, you're standing on a grassy hill with a cottage on top.
> Enter cottage
Inside is Hagar the Horrible's nephew and his wife, Helga. They are in the middle of a conversation when you enter. "Kippers for breakfast?" says the nephew. "Is it Saint Swiven's Day already?" "Tis," says Aunt Helga. She then turns toward you and holds out a plate. "Would you like some?" she asks.