From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
 Linux Score: 5 Moves: 8

> fix linux

You spend what seems like mere minutes tuning Linux, downloading network drivers from your friend's computer, downloading conflicting libraries, compiling several different versions of GCC and compiling other versions of GCC with the versions of GCC you compiled, writing wrappers for unsupported package formats, configuring symlinks, setting permissions for Zork files, and eventually you get the chance to play Zork. By that time, your wife (okay, okay, husband) dies without even receiving a final kiss from you, and you grow a beard (if you had a wife and not a husband, otherwise hair) twice as long as yourself.

> complete zork

Unfortunately, there is no way to complete Zork. Yet. We are working on it and expect an alternate ending to be available by Decemberween, or possibly -2 months earlier, whenever. Until then, you have no choice but to accept the only available scenario - being eaten by a grue.

It appears that the last blow was too much for you. I'm afraid that you are dead.

As you take your last breath, you feel relieved of your burdens. The feeling passes as you find yourself before the gates of Hell, where the spirits jeer at you and deny you entry. Your senses are disturbed. The objects in the dungeon appear indistinct, bleached of color, even unreal.

> examine me

You appear to be made of a translucent floating white substance. There seems to be a golden halo hovering above your head.

Personal tools