> fix linux
You spend what seems like mere minutes tuning Linux, downloading network drivers from your friend's computer, downloading conflicting libraries, compiling several different versions of GCC and compiling other versions of GCC with the versions of GCC you compiled, writing wrappers for unsupported package formats, configuring symlinks, setting permissions for Zork files, and eventually you get the chance to play Zork. By that time, your wife (okay, okay, husband) dies without even receiving a final kiss from you, and you grow a beard (if you had a wife and not a husband, otherwise hair) twice as long as yourself.
> complete zork
Unfortunately, there is no way to complete Zork. Yet. We are working on it and expect an alternate ending to be available by Decemberween, or possibly -2 months earlier, whenever. Until then, you have no choice but to accept the only available scenario - being eaten by a grue.
SUDDENLY! You are on a cloud in deep space, and there is a man standing in front of you.
> examine man
He appears to be Anubis, the God of Death.
What would you like to do?