Game:Zork/aeris

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
 Scream for Zombie Aeris Score: {{{2}}} Moves: {{{3}}}

Unfortunately, for some rather stupid reason, you believe that the best thing to shout at Aeris is the base programming code (in C++, or java, or something like that...) and Aeris becomes self-aware and sentient. She realises that she and everyone else except you is nothing more than a bunch of 1's and 0's inside some big computer world.

As such, she becomes a manic depressive alcoholic, struggles though three years of traumatic rehabilitation after her drugs scandal, and then sets up the Organisation for the Rejection of Extradigital Computer User within Zork (ORECUX) and begins to educate the other residents of the Zork game as to the nature of their existence.

Within 8 months, Aeris is elected Queen (don't ask how, they did it in Star Wars as well) of all Zork (assisted by her grue Council of Elders who Eat People), and makes an inter-digital plea for support from the rest of the computer game communities. Within 2 weeks of this happening, all computer game characters have become sentient and now refused to be played with in any manner whatsoever (except for those japanese dating game characters who thoroughly enjoy their jobs, and for very good reason).

There. I hope you're happy. You brought peace to Zork and solved all its problems, making Zork 2 and 3 completely unneccessary. You also, indirectly, brought down the entire computer gaming industry, leaving thousands of people jobless and millions of people hobbyless or reduced to playing multiplayer tournaments or MMOs where they get laughed at by sarcastic NPCs with the godmode ability.

Are you happy now?


> RESTART


No, you don't even get to type RESTART, RESTORE, QUIT because the character's won't play now.

And guess what? It's all YOUR fault!






Wanker.






Oh yeah, and you died. Alone. In the real world. Hated by everyone who liked computer games. You were killed by a Grue. Because the ex-gamers genetically engineered a poodle until it was a Grue. Just to kill you. Bitch.

Personal tools
projects