> What is the story/premise/point of Zork?
InvisiClues for this question (move your mouse over the black-on-black text one line at a time):
? Really? Okay, here's the story:
? "The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?"
? Wait... sorry, my mistake, that's Bad Dudes's story. I'll try again...
? "A thousand years after the sealing of the Underworld by the First King, Azroth the Imprisoned Evil One's Almighty Seal has weakened, and on her eighteenth birthday the First King's descendant, Princess Pure, was sucked into the Inner Sanctum of Azroth, where the Sacred Chalice, giver of infinite life, transformer of stone to gold, and the only weapon that can destroy Azroth, is sealed. You, a peasant boy and the seventh son of a seventh son, were given the Great Holy Sword, wielded by the First King and passed on through generations, on the day these events transpired. Only you can save the princess, destroy the Underworld and become King of the Universe!"
? Wait... no, that's Half-Life 2. But hold on, didn't that game involve a modern scientist and aliens? Eh... who cares? Okay, for real this time:
? Ahem..."well, this here's a story 'bout a man named Jed. A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed. But then one day he was shooting at some food, and up from the ground came a-bubblin' crude. Oil, that is. Black gold. Texas tea. Well, the next thing you know old Jed's a millionaire. The kinfolk said, Jed, get away from there, said, Californy is the place you oughta be, so they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly. Hills, that is. Swimming pools and...movie...stars..."
? Well, what the? That's The Beverly Hillbillies for crying out loud! Okay, so this is definitely the right one:
? "In this world, trophies fight. They know nothing but fighting. Fighting is the sole reason for their existence. Being turned back into a trophy, being unable to fight, is much like death. Those are the rules of this world. But... When someone...or something...breaks those rules, the world will pay a terrible price..."
? Uh, was that the story for Super Smash Bros. Brawl? Well, how about we just settle for this exposition?
? "AVOID MISSING BALL FOR HIGH SCORE."
? There. See? Now the game makes perfect sense.
? No wait. THAT was Pong's story. This may take a while.
? I got it! It is basically a random game with Uncyclopedia memes like grues and Xyzzy.