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You turn to ZorkTV.
Wow, THIS is what zork really looks like? It looks nothing like that stupid narrator guy described it. Who was that guy anyway?
There are grues every 10 feet. You find yourself rooting for the adventurer at first, but when he walks into random walls and dies for no reason you find yourself rooting for the grues, who win pretty much all the time.
When the adventurer finally wins, it goes to Zork 2. Sadly no one likes Zork 2, or Zork 3, or Zork 4, or Zork 5. You turn off the tv.