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1. The first rule of The Game is that you just lost.
2. The second rule of The Game is that you just lost again.
3. To know The Game is to lose the game.
4. Think about losing The Game all the time.
5. To think of The Game is to lose The Game.
6. One wins The Game by losing The Game.
7. Get others to lose The Game.
8. The aim of The Game is lose The Game.
9. The Game ends when the prime minister, president, the Queen, or some other world leader loses The Game.
10. It's all about losing The Game.
11. You just lost.
12. ???
13. PROFIT!!!

[edit] The Game

You awake to find yourself standing in front of your bedroom door. Your room is perfectly clean, and you're quite positive you weren't cleaning it the night before. Before going on, you turn on your computer, browse to Uncyclopedia, and fuck yourself in the brains because this article sucks so bad.

I wonder who cleaned my room? you wonder. Looking around more, you notice a toothbrush, an avocado, a turd bomb, your stash of porn, and a rabid animal. The toothbrush and avocado are glistening in the morning sun. The rabid animal is staring at you, growling, and your porn is in the closet.

In the air wafts the scent of freshly cut grass. And in your head, you still hear sounds of the weed whacker ... whacking ... whacking ... whacking ... (This excites you.)

And what was that dream I had last night? you think to yourself. The rabid animal inches closer to your left foot. You take a step back which puts you closer to the open window and you wonder if you can get the rabid animal to lunge at you, step aside, and let it go out the window...

[edit] What do you do?

• If you would like to grab the toothbrush and lunge at the rabid animal, turn to page 43
• If you would like to grab the pickle and chuck that green mother at the rabid animal, turn to page 19
• If you would like to run the hell out the door, into the living room, turn to page 109
• If you would like to give the animal your porn go here Page 538
• If you'd like to sit down and ponder the meaning of life, turn to page 28
• If you'd like to eat the avocado, fuck off
• If you'd like to kill yourself go to page 86
• If you'd wonder why the rabid animal is inching towards your foot, go to page 288
• If you would like to shoot the rabid animal with an M-16, turn to Page 556
• (new!) If you'd like to start the multiplayer mode, go to page !.
• If you would like to go to page 78690, then go there. And bring me back a postcard.
• If you would like to step outside the game for a few minutes, turn to page i
• If you would like to die, go to Page 86.
• If you would like to winlose, go to Page 99.
• If you would really like to win the game, go to Page 8007.
• To play in canterbury, go to Page 0101010.
• To dive out your bedroom window, go to Page 8765.
• To open your bedroom window, go to Page 9665.
• To take your beretta out of the drawer go to Page 577
• If you would like to castrate the turd bomb, go to page 616,886
• If you want to say screw it, and jump out a window and run around town, go to page you're screwed
• If you are a retarded, cosplaying, shit-eating fanboy, turn to Page 666.
• (new!) If you would like to play Brutal Mario, click here
• If you don't choose any of the options above and you just want to kick that motherfucking rabid animal in the face and hope it dies and you just want to look at the porn because you haven't seen it in a long while, go to Page 333