Galen

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Kentstate chimp

A photo of Galen, pictured lying face down after a strenuous game of violate the monkey.

“He stole my god damn ho!”
~ A pimp on Galen
“Gice me back my wallet”
~ Shakespeare on Galen's bedside manner

Aelius Galenus or Claudius Galenus (September AD 129 – 199/217; Greek: Γαληνός, Galēnos, from adjective "γαληνός", "calm"), better known as Galen of Pergamon, was a Greek doctor and is widely believed to be the greatest mind ever to have existed on Earth. He was born in the year 624 BC (Before Cheescake). He has made many discoveries such as the cure for homosexuality and the bends, but he didn't tell anyone because he's a bit of a twat. He was an intelligent chimpanzee who helped two lost humans look for a computer around 3078 A.D.

edit Where is Galen now?

Galen is now ruler inside our Hollow Earth. The inhabitants of the Hollow Earth were Geese, Galen went to war with them in order to take control, but was struck down by a goosey magic user, who wished cancer upon him in the first battle. Galen was diagnosed with less than three months to live. Knowing that the only cure for cancer was Chuck Norris' tears, Galen challenged Chuck to a pimp duel. Obviously, Galen was no match for Chuck and the awesome power of his roundhouse kick, but the kick blasted the cancer to peices. Chuck impaled Galen with his pimp stick and left him for dead, Galen was unable to cure his injuries and would have died if he hadn't been seen by a passing forest maiden, who raped him back to life. Galen returned to the Hollow Earth the following year while the geese were celebrating gooseplat (a religious holiday for geese). Galen pimp slapped them all and banished them to the Swansea.

Galen did discover the soul cavity within the human body. You can prove the exsistance of the soul cavity while shooting zombies with a shotgun. You can also prove it with an auto shoty which destroys the chest of the person and or deadite releasing the soul.

Galen-sm

A photo of Galen wearing his trademark pimp hat, which is made entirely of paper mâché.

edit The Galenites

The galenites, Galen's warrior-followers are ex-Nazis that fled to the Hollow Earth after the 2nd fall of Hitler in the year 2015. Their most recent quest is to abolish communism. Using a huge number of downies rounded up from the surface world, they struck a precise blow at the communist command structure (in Barbados), killing many high-ranking officers and nearly the commie leader in one go. The commie scumbags were completely taken back and went into hiding all across the Russia, allowing the Galenites to take over.

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