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“The prostate gland of the world”Gabon is a desolate North African country, located north of Kazakhstan and south of Somalia. The country's name is derived from the national motto, "Grab On!", which the second Gabonese king, Omar Bongo, used when he threw his servants overboard. Most of the Gabonese people are part of an ancient highland dwarf tribe. During recent years Gabon has been rebuilt 32 times due to the Great Heroin Conflict with the resurrected Mongol Empire.
It is said that when Eve drew the apple from the tree in the Garden of Eden and ate it, God laid the land to waste. And thus Gabon was created. For many years it remained a wasteland until alcoholic Derbyshire explorer Olip Easterry discovered the land in 1670. Gabon quickly grew into a mighty merchant empire, mostly exporting sand and prostitutes. The empire prospered but water supplies soon dwindled. Olip Easterry had a genius plan to draw moisture from the clouds and re-fill the reservoirs. Unfortunately after a budget of almost $300 billion, a ladder long enough could not be found.
It is said of old that Gabon was the first nation to invent the wheel, however the local tribe elders saw no use in such a device and burned it.
Omar Bongo was born on May 6th, 1780. The moment he set foot on this earth, he was dubbed a jungle man. He spent his youth in the jungle eating nothing but bananas. After the demise of Olip Easterry, Omar Bongo ruled Gabon. He implemented many laws such as mandatory execution at 18 so that the locals don't have to die a painful death from old age. He also introduced the death penalty (hanging) for tax evasion and public urination. Bongo is also praised for his advances in the country's infrastructure, such as the implementation of the international postal system. Sadly, after three years, it was discovered that the Gabonese dwarfs cannot throw paper over the ocean.
The people of Gabon are very well educated. In 1934 the Bongo University began to be built. By 2013 a wooden door-frame had been completed. Omar bongo himself cut the umbilical cord and it was officially opened.