GUIdows

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Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Microsoft Windows?
“Why didn't I ever think of that?”
~ Some random guy on GUIdows

GUIdows is an operating system made by Aperture Science that was released on May 17, 2000 and is a popular companion to the GLaDOS operating system. It is considered one of the first ever operating systems to bend the line between system communication and annoying as it has tight integration with the genetic life portion of GLaDOS and is the first operating system that you can actually interact with. ('cause it's actually alive)

edit Development

Started in '97 when Aperture was desperate for an easier way of controlling GLaDOS. So our scientists thought up of a GUI solution. The solution was based on a 32-bit method, using a protected-mode processor. We could make the GUI solution easier, faster and more secure. This essentially reduced the text portion of GLaDOS to being a Bootloader.

But the Aperture Team didn't think this was the spark they were looking for so they worked with the "original" GLaDOS team to integrate it with GLaDOS. Using a complex computer algorithm, GLaDOS could appear on any computer and speak to the user. The team praised it as genius.

As noted, We got integration down but we just couldn't get the GUI in our heads. So we thought and we thought and then we came up with something. One of our scientists came up to the blackboard and drew a rectangle with one box on the left and one on the right then he drew some boxes. As we pondered, We said. "Hey, This could be our new GUI." so we worked 8 months to design it.

As with some of our design goals, We aimed to having longer filenames. How this worked is that we had the filenames in a separate buffer and it would use a system call to call up the different name.

Also the most important goal was GLaDOS compatibility. We accomplished this by having a Window act as GLaDOS and emulate it's features, This gave it the feeling of GLaDOS. Then we had it run a GLaDOS program and with success it called out to the subsystem and launched the program. We had a stroke of brilliant luck and genius right there. The first convergence between a 16-bit operating and a 32-bit operating system. Who couldn't of done that first.


We released the final version in 2000 and everyone was now using it on Aperture computers, The first GUI-based operating system had finally been completed and the home computer has been revolutionized forever.

edit Essential Features

Windows Flag

The GUIdows flag. Very unique, original and inspiring.

As noted before. GUIdows has a number of features and innovations that put it above the edge of other operating systems. Built around a core of 4 essential parts of the OS, The OS can do a wide variety of things such as browse the internet, read your email and play music. And thanks to our innovative design team that built GLaDOS, We can guarantee that these features will beat any modern operating system, Including Mac OS 8.

edit Accessibility

Aperture Science takes great prides in providing the most accessable software people can actually pick up the mouse and use. And with GUIdows, we made sure that GUIdows was easy to use. For example, the GUI is unlike anything we have ever seen before, Taking the cues from OS's like Linux. Aperture's GUIdows GUI has a desktop, icons, taskbar and a start button. Something never before seen in computers before. Also included is the power to change various options from a Control Panel. Adjust or mute sound sources from a volume panel and automaticly keep your system up to date with Dr. Sherlock and includes an intelligent Disk Defragger that's controlled by GLaDOS herself. Since she's all intelligent. All this innovation from Aperture that's sure to make your system feel like a machine from the future. another feature we've included is defined to bring the comfort of some form of intelligence to help the user, as Aperture Science Inc. has a kink for innovation. We designed the system to be tightly integrated with GLaDOS, This means that most applications will work and you can even boot into GLaDOS. However, The true innovation here is that the genetic life portion of GLaDOS will be able to talk to you and take over your computer, Using complicated methods like screen capturing, hardware emulation and an audio component. You'll see your desktop come to life as files move around, windows open themselves and hear GLaDOS give you helpful advice. With these 2 featues, GUIdows is the most accessible OS ever.

edit Multimedia

Multimedia is a growing process and with GUIdows, we wanted to make sure we captured all the audio, video, gaming, multimedia goodness you can handle, using a a new technology called InstantZ™ technology, We'll be able to see better graphics and hear better audio. Instant3D™ allows for the first time to have better image quality then OpenGL thanks to hardware buffering, To prove that, We put the best card in for it's time, The ATI Rage 3D LT and it worked like butter. It also allows for more complex research to happen since researchers can now simulate stuff in 3D space. It could also be used for games but expect GLaDOS to tell you how much you suck and by using InstantSound™, We can deliver to you the crispiest sound that no operating system could top, by using dedicated audio streams. This can improve perform ace as the sound is being rendered by the sound processor instead of the CPU therefore taking less stress off of the CPU. What's also unique in InstantSound™ is the ability to use a microphone to communicate with GLaDOS. How it works is that GUIdows takes the sound from your microphone and sends an alternate stream to the genetic life portion of GLaDOS so it can respond back with helpful advice. With InstantZ™, Your life will never be the same again, also included is the program to play the future of multimedia-era files, sometimes scientists want to kick back and relax. And for those people we have the included Media Player, It can play video/audio and also has support for the Next-Generation MIDI format. And since it's integrated into GUIdows. GLaDOS can also judge your songs and videos. Nagging you about how much she hates/loves them and sometimes she just closes the program just cause she doesn't like what she sees, it is seriously the future of multimedia as we know it. As you might get bored with the Aperture Media Player, we have included a bunch of games designed to keep you busy, We have packed some of the most popular and top of the line games that everyone is playing currently. From Freecell to Solitaire to Hearts to Minesweeper. You'll be entertained for days on end. And that's not the best part, we've integrated GLaDOS into the games. So with GLaDOS on your side. She can comment on your playing style and give you helpful advice on how to play better. And that's the multimedia side in a stretch.

edit Productivity

ApertureInternetBrowser

The Aperture Internet Browser™ is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to the internet.

Everyone knows that with computers come productivity and Aperture Science is here with the productivity included in every copy of GUIdows, Aperture Science Inc.'s breakthrough innovation in productivity comes from the Aperture Science Productivty Suite™, It contains the essentials like Writer, Presentation, Grids, Database, and Mailbox (replaces Aperture Electronic Mail Viewer). And with those 5 productivity-inspiring programs comes another innovation of valued importance, The Aperture Productivity-Enhancer Buddy... Controlled by GLaDOS herself. Once you begin productive work, the Productivity-Enhancer Buddy™ will pop up randomly and tell you that you need help and what you are doing wrong, It will also correct, enhance or finish your work with the quality that the Productivity-Enhancer Buddy™ can give you. Truly an inspiration, also included is the Aperture Internet Browser™ which is the best internet browser known to man. Since the internet is the next best thing since the PC was invented, we've built it out of the Mozilla core, It includes basic support for HTML. It is very useful for conducting research or proving a point with GLaDOS which it will probally won't, all of these features will provide a clean and elegent space for productivity which you will need.

edit Security

Aperture Science cares about the well-being of GLaDOS and has taken extra measures to do that. In GUIdows, We have included a virus scanner that can detect a wide range of viruses. Cause when a virus infects your computer, You'll just know that it'll spread to every computer and that included GLaDOS, If GLaDOS were infected then god just knows what'll he do. The virus scanner is designed to delete any supposed infected file it finds, Even if it's not infected. GLaDOS will then mock you for almost destroying your computer. It also included buffer protection and low-lever CPU protection to help protect your system from a Catastrophic System Failure. It's the most secure OS we could ever make logicily.

edit Comparison to Other Systems

Your probably asking us "Is GUIdows better than any other OS out there?", We took an expert and found out by ourselves by Comparison.

Aperture Science GUIdows Microsoft Windows 2000 Apple Mac OS X
Security GUIdows has top-of-the-line security and includes an intelligent virus scanner complete with buffer protection. Windows 2000 features a redesigned kernel that's designed to be more secure and harder to hack Mac OS X is based off of Unix and therefore has better security then the latter two.
Accessibility GUIdows is the easiest OS to use, All there is is the Taskbar, Start Button, Desktop and your helpful GLaDOS guide to help you. Windows 2000 is easier to use because it's more organized and optimized. Mac OS X has always been easy to use, Just ask anyone who's never used a computer before.
Entertainment GUIdows comes complete with Aperture Media Player™, InstantZ™, Aperture Internet Browser™ and a couple of games. Prepare to have days and days of fun Windows 2000 comes with only three games. But comes pack with Windows Media Player, Internet Explorer 5 and lots of Preloaded Music, There's also improved performance with DirectX 7 preloaded so prepare yourself to have a fast gaming experience. Mac OS X comes with QuickTime, The best media player on the planet, iTunes so you can buy songs, Safari so you can easily browse the internet and have fun at the same time and a Chess game to test out your logic.
Productivity GUIdows comes complete with the Aperture Productivity Suite™. The most productive product of all, It also includes the Productivity-Enhancer Buddy™ so that you can get the most done out of your work. Windows 2000 has Office 2000, A bunch of apps that are necessary and comes with Clippy that can give you help through a though-bubble and in no way interferes with the work. Mac OS X has iMovie, iPhoto, GarageBand, iDVD, iWeb. The works cause it's iLife.
Compatibility GUIdows is fully integrated with GLaDOS so programs are easily compatible with GUIdows. Windows 2000 contains a built in DOS Emulator that doesn't emulate programs all that well Mac OS X contains a full version of Mac OS 9 it uses to run classic programs.

Now that you can see that GUIdows is the obvious choice for any computer, As you can see by the accurately depicted chart, GUIdows has been proven to be superior in every way, So go pick up a copy directly from Aperture Science. Thank you for reading about GUIdows from Aperture Science Inc. Goodbye...

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