GNU Emacs

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Welcome to GNU/Linux, one part of the GNU Emacs operating system.

GNU Emacs NEWS -- history of user-visible changes.  21-5-1
Copyright (C) 18, 19, 20, 21, new calendar
         FreeSoftFound, Inc.

* Installation Changes in GNU Emacs 21.2

GNU Emacs is at war with XEmacs.  GNU Emacs has always been at
war with XEmacs.  vi is our ally in the war against XEmacs.

* Installation Changes in GNU Emacs 21.1

GNU Emacs is at war with vi.  GNU Emacs has always been at war
with vi.  XEmacs is our ally in the war against vi.

---- GNU Emacs ---------------------------------------------------
For plusgood info about FreeSoft, type C-h C-M-++ ESC ESC S-qpzm

edit Background

By year 18 of the new calendar, the world had been divided into three warring text editors: GNU Emacs, XEmacs, and vi. The software engineering models of all three are essentially the same – each is ruled by a form of oligarchical collectivism – but in GNU Emacs, this model is known as freesoft, while in XEmacs, it is known as opensource.

Though the war between the editors is unwinnable, it will continue indefinitely, as each editor needs it in order to consume the surplus features created by their large populations of programmers. From time to time, GNU Emacs will ally itself with XEmacs to attack vi, or with vi in order to attack XEmacs. For propaganda purposes, freesoft affirms that GNU Emacs has always been allied with whoever it is allied with at the present time, and alters all historical evidence that might suggest otherwise. According to the principles of freesoft, this results in the past literally changing to reflect freesoft policy. However, the principles of freesoft also dictate that these changes have never taken place, since the past has always been compatible with freesoft policy.

edit Features

Emacs knows where you live. Emacs is watching you, and will bring suffering to all who do not obey. Emacs can kill a vi user with only two keystrokes. Jesus uses Emacs. Emacs is everywhere, and there is no escaping it. Emacs is omnipotent and omniscient. Submit, or be deleted.

edit Gnuspeak

Gnuspeak is the language in which GNU Emacs keyboard commands are written. Unlike other languages, which aim to expand the conceptual resources of their users, Gnuspeak is intended to be incapable of expressing ideas that are incompatible with the principles of freesoft. Where English allows one to say, for example, "exit GNU Emacs", Gnuspeak would not contain the word for "exit", except as part of compounds such as "C-x C-c", a contradictory construction that a Gnuspeak speaker would find baffling.

Another difference between Gnuspeak and natural languages is that Gnuspeak allows for greater typing efficiency by its use of key combinations. Fluent Gnuspeak users find it much more intuitive to use "C-r ESC ESC M-S-q rt TAB" to copy the current character into the clipboard, than the old-fashioned and clumsy method of using the mouse.

As of the current version of GNU Emacs, Gnuspeak is not yet complete, and is only used by freesoft innerparty officials. However, when it is complete, it will replace English and all other natural languages as the official language of GNU Emacs. At that time, the GNU Emacs localization project will be obsoleted, as all textual composition will take place only in Gnuspeak. Gnuspeak is expected to be complete with the release of GNU Emacs version 22, along with support for GNOME, distributed version control systems, and machines with graphical displays.

The help files of GNU Emacs in current CVS versions have already been partially upgraded to Gnuspeak – they now give helpful hints like "Press C-x C-c to C-x C-c GNU Emacs", making it much easier to understand for new users.

At present, few users of GNU Emacs use more than a smattering of Gnuspeak words in their daily lives. Freesoft officials often use CVS versions of GNU Emacs to construct complete speeches, emails, and essays on the philosophy of freesoft, entirely in Gnuspeak. To do this, they must be able to compile GNU Emacs from source. They also must have appropriately recent hardware, for example, a keyboard with separate Right-Control, Left-Control, Alt, Meta, Super, Ultra, Mega, and Double-Plus keys.

edit History

The current major version number of GNU Emacs is 24.

Though GNU Emacs users are required to believe that the release of GNU Emacs version 25 is imminent, the difficulties of constructing a complete Gnuspeak dictionary have actually delayed it by many years. In fact, it is unlikely that anyone now alive will live to see even the first release candidate, let alone a beta version.

Unconfirmed rumors state that version 25 of GNU Emacs will finally have text editor functionality.

A brief history of recent GNU Emacs releases:

edit Version 21.50

  • Released 21-1-1.
  • GNU Emacs is at war with vi. GNU Emacs has always been at war with vi. XEmacs is our ally in the war against vi.
  • The previous version of GNU Emacs was version 20.1. As usual, it contained no bugs. Changes since version 20.1 include locale support, a web browser, and GNU Emacs psychiatrist mode. These new features will soon result in a final crushing defeat for vi, and set the stage for the complete domination of freesoft over the entire globe.
  • The GNU Emacs web browser is now fully compliant with the HTML 4.0 standard. GNU Emacs has always been compliant with HTML 4.0. Web pages that cannot be displayed by GNU Emacs are not compliant. Viewing such pages is crimebrowz and will be corrected by miniluv.

edit Version 21.49

  • Released 21-3-16.
  • GNU Emacs is at war with XEmacs. GNU Emacs has always been at war with XEmacs. vi is our ally in the war against XEmacs.
  • The previous version of GNU Emacs was version 21.48. As usual, it contained no bugs. However, an urgent re-release was necessary owing to criminal sabotage of the previous release by traitors in the pay of XEmacs, who caused version 21.48 to appear to crash shortly after startup. Naturally, there were no crashes. All freesoft software is stable and has never crashed. The traitors have been captured, and immediately confessed to all wrongdoing.

edit Version 21.48

  • Released 21-2-1.
  • GNU Emacs is at war with vi. GNU Emacs has always been at war with vi. XEmacs is our ally in the war against vi.
  • The previous version of GNU Emacs was version 21.46. As usual, it contained no bugs. The innerparty has decided to release this new version on the anniversary of GNU Emacs' triumphant victory over Joe's own editor, an important target in the heart of vi territory. This important gain for the forces of freesoft brings us closer to final success in the fight for peace.

edit Version 21.47

  • There is no GNU Emacs version 21.47. There never was a GNU Emacs version 21.47. Asking questions about what happened to GNU Emacs version 21.47 is crimethink and will be corrected by miniluv.

edit Version 21.46

  • Released 21-1-1.
  • GNU Emacs is at war with vi. GNU Emacs has always been at war with vi. XEmacs is our ally in the war against vi.
  • The previous version of GNU Emacs was version 20.1. As usual, it contained no bugs. The innerparty has decided to release this new version in recognition of our ally XEmacs' sad loss of Joe's own editor, a small outpost on the borders of the evil empire of vi. This minor setback has caused a spontaneous condemnation of traitors, saboteurs, and agents of vi among the happy and prosperous users of GNU Emacs.

edit Version 21.45

  • Released 21-12-4.
  • Users of GNU Emacs! The war is over! With release 21.45 of GNU Emacs, both vi and XEmacs are finally defeated! To ensure order, the current feature freeze remains in effect. The developers of GNU Emacs look forward to a new major release soon.

edit Version 21.44

  • Release 21-1-1.
  • GNU Emacs is at war with XEmacs. GNU Emacs has always been at war with XEmacs. vi is our ally in the war against XEmacs.
  • The previous version of GNU Emacs was version 20.1. As usual, it contained no bugs. Changes since version 20.1 include the deprecation of locale support. The removal of this unnecessary and obsolescent subsystem will soon result in a final crushing defeat for XEmacs, and set the stage for the complete domination of freesoft over the entire globe.
  • The GNU Emacs web browser is now fully compliant with the HTML 5.0 standard. GNU Emacs has always been compliant with HTML 5.0. Web pages that cannot be displayed by GNU Emacs are not compliant. Viewing such pages is crimebrowz and will be corrected by miniluv.
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