Internet-speak
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“AOL is teh ghey!”
~ Oscar Wilde on AOL
“ZOMG!!!1! AOL a1m0st sp3lls LOL! loOOLOLLOLOLOLOLLLOOL!!!one!”
~ n00b on You've Got Mail!
“................................................................”
~ Loogan Herr on Mail he got from a Grue
“0MG 1N73RN3T 5P33K R SO N00B!”
~ Oscar Wilde on nerds.
Internet-Speak, more commonly represented as Interweb-§p3@k by followers of Al Gore (the inventor of the Interweb), is a written language developed as a joint project between AOL and Microsoft. The project started because Microsoft realized that the only thing more secure than encryption was to create a new language. It the only usable form of communication on the Internet, and one of the official languages of Angola.
Research shows that 99.9% of people who type in Interweb-§p3@k are fat-hand, slack idiots.
Contents |
[edit] Internet-speak in popular culture
“ ROFLMAO!!! brb”
~ Oscar Wilde on Chat SpeakLOL
Internet-speak (or Chat Speak), most commonly practiced by the species 'teenager', is more than a form of reproduction. For some, it is a way of life. It reflects their ability to slowly drill into their victims' heads and cause unimaginable pain.
The longer chat speak has been around, the more it has evolved and formed into a revolution of illiterate lingo spoken by most teenagers. Don't think its more commonly used by those who generally have writing difficulties through no fault of their own, no. these illiterate barbarians of today's writing world do it intentionally just to piss the rest of the world off. In this way, chatspeak is similar to many other rituals 'teenagers' practice.
<-------- ROFL
Unfortunately, due to a rising number of OAPs, teenagers and their language are dying out. These grannies compete with teenagers for attention and batter them with handbags mercilessly. A special trust has been set up for the protection of teenagers where they can live peacefully in a granny-free environment called Sheffield.
Here they can roam free in their Burberry attire and terrorise the rest of the population of this pretty town happily, their activities unhindered by old ladies.
[edit] Guide to Internet-Speak
Before delving into the much more complicated and severely illogical language of Internet-speak slang, remember to observe these helpful tips.
- Misspell, abbreviate and substitute words with numbers to try to save time as often as possible, even if you must stop and spend time figuring out how to shorten the amount of time you spend typing. "Do u no how 2 spel lik a freek?" is a perfect example. Grammatically the sentence makes no sense but you are to assume the addressee of teh sentence will instantly decipher and appreciate your more confusing version of talking.
- Never, ever spell things correctly. Failure to comply to this rule could lead to being branded a huge square as well as being blocked by 95% of your contact list.
- When you can remember to, double the last letter of all your greetings and salutations (like heyy and byee). By so extending your greeting, so you lessen the time for which you have to actually engage in prose with the alternatively-intelligent second party.
- When you don't know what to say, say things like "lol", "lmao", "rofl", and so on.
- If you feel you aren't contributing enough to the conversation, say things like "lol", "lmao", "rofl", and so on.
- When someone else says something that you don't understand, say things like "lol", "lmao", "rofl", and so on.
- When you find something amusing, say things like "lol", "lmao", "rofl", and so on.
- When someone tells you they're undergoing cancer treatment, say things like "lol", "lmao", "rofl", and so on.
- Expression to the negative can be substituted with suitably confused interjections: "huh?", "wtf?" and various smilies should suffice. Note that question marks are not often understood by such proletariat conversation partners, and may exacerbate further their already-profound confusion.
- Do weird things with dashes, slashes, gizmos and Mormons in sorry attempts to recreate emotional faces. These include things like -.- ^_^ and #~+@??. These so-called "emoticons" are often used in place of real words, for when vocabulary fails these otherwise quite loquatious people.
This is a list of both complete and abbreviated Internet slang.
[edit] Guide to Net-Speak
Many interweb-speaking users will revert to short acronyms in a manner only otherwise used by programmers who wish to purposely obfuscate their code with who would thus be spared the full force of these lurid acronyms if they did not already know their meaning.
Thus we list them here for you in all their grossly offensive glory.
[edit] A
- ABC - Always Been Crippled or Achtung Baby Cock or Aids Bringing Cock
- AFAIK - Accept Fellatio; And I Kneel
- AFK - After Fucking Kelly, used frequently by men who just fucked a woman named Kelly. It's also used to say Actually Fapping to Kidde porn
- AMD - Ah, Mon Dieu! (French for Oh My God)
- AOL - An Online Legend
- ASL - I want to sell lemonade/licorice(corruption of "'Asshole, Selling Lemonade")/Ass, Sex, Lol, used by sexual predators and kids all around the world.
- AYB: "All Your Boobs", comes from a badly translated Manga character that uses the line "All your boobs are belong to us!"
- ATM: At The Moment, frequently used by noobs, but in actuality it is a machine used to withdraw money from the bank. Also used to say Ass To Mouth.
- ASAP: As Sucky As Peter, a sentence used in a lot of movies and in real world as a reference to something that sucks like Peter Griffin from the TV show, Family Guy.
- ALLIES - All Lame Losers I Ever Seen, a sentence used to describe the alliance or the ALLIES.
[edit] B
- B4: Evil robot overlord or Bitchy 4ever
- B2B: Boob To Boob, used by women online to describe their lesbian fantasies.
- BB: Big Bird, Bitch Beach, Big Boobs or Big Bummer
- BBL: Big Butt Licker, used to insult people who are fat and lick ass.
- BBS: Big Baby Shitter, used to describe oneself as a women who farts out large offspring.
- BBQ - Brokeback Queer or Brokeback Queen
- BEBO - Bang Every Bitch Online
- BF - Bernard Finster, Boy Fucked, Butt Fucker or Brain Fart
- BFF-Big Fat Fuck/Buttfuck Frogs Forever
- BMCB = Break My Chain Bitch
- BOHICA = Bend Over Here It Comes Again ( also BOHICA dry variant)
- BRB - Begone, Rotten Bastard/Bone Redhead Bitches/ Been Raped Brutally, used as a motto, that means fuck girls with red hair/Bugger Retarded Boys/That you or someone else got Raped brutally.
- BSOD: Bleak Sense Of Depression, used to describe a sudden realisation by an advanced computer user of the utter horror of what they are doing, e.g. 'I spent four hours scripting an XP port of my Linux app but got a BSOD'.
- BTW - Boating is the Way/Bone That Woman, Same as BRB, only with a selected woman.
- BUR - Boned Under Rocks. Noob retards and alliance players say that, go Figure theyr retarded language by yourself...
- BYOB: - Bone Your Own Boy, referring to gay chat rooms where flirting with other men while in a relationship is prohibited.\
BMD-A BLACK MAN'S DICK!
- BEN - Bone Every Nerd -------- Cowley
[edit] C
- CU - Cunt Ugly, it means you're fucking ugly.
- CYA - Choose Your Ass (used for group anal cybersex)
- CYB0R - The act of having meaningful conversation between 2 people (sometimes involves a mangina)
- CKY - Camp Kill Yourself
- CUNT - C U Next Time
- CUNT- C U Uext Tuesday -------Tom larney business studies 7th july 11:20
[edit] D
- DC - Douche Canoe
- DIAF - Do It Again Fucker
- DIAF - Die in a Fire
- DEF - Danielle Elephant Fucks
- DILLIGAF - Does it look like I give a fuck (Also: Do I look like I give a Fuck??)
[edit] E
- ETYTTMIMMTUSPDTTM - Every time you talk to me it makes me throw up so plz, dnt talk 2 me.
- E - Excellent
- ETYTTMIMMWTKYSIG2AMINSB - Every time u tlk 2 me, it maex me wnt 2 kill you so im goin 2 a mental eensteeshooshun, so bye.
[edit] F
- FROY Clever Russian Reversal of ROFL: In soviet Russia, Floor Rolls on YOU!
- Fav - Feeling a vibrator (traditionally not typed in all capital letters)
- FCUK - Fucking Cunts of the United Kingdom, or Fat Cows Urinate on Koreans
- FGSFDS - For Gods Sake Fuck Dis Shit
- FFS - Fellatio for Sexists. Refers to self-sucking.
- FOAD - Fucker of All Dude(tte)s
- FUCK - Funny Urinals Create Kangaroos
- FTW - Fear The Wabbit/Fuck The World/Feed The Weasle/Fuck The What?
- FAP - Forwarding a pie/Fucking Apple Pie Sound of men masturbating.
[edit] G
- G2G - Got two (2) Goats/Going to (2) :Goatse
- GF - Goat Fanny or Gay Fucked
- GHS - Give 'er Shit
- GIGO - Greatest Incredible, Guy On (the message boards)
- GIGA - guy Inside a Guy's anus: used to describe you.
- GILF - Grandmother I'd like toFuck
- GL - Gorgon Lover: a male vertebrate organism that derives sexual pleasure from becoming petrified.
- GTFO - Get The F**k Out.
- GIRL - Guy In Real Life
- GG - Gone Gay or Gay Gesture
- GB - Gang Bang or Gay Boy
- GLC - Gays Lick Cats, Granny's licorice Cream.
- GSIG - George Skae Is Gay - FACT not FICTION
[edit] H
- HAX - Short for the Spanish term: Hola! Amigos XXX.
- Hgu - Hugs for ppl (people)
[edit] I
- I - It
- IANAL - I Anal (literal, as a description of sexual preference)
- IDGAF I really don't give a fuck what this one means
- IMHO - In My Ho (offered as an explanation of not responding to IMs*)
- IMO - Invisible Makes Out
- IN B4 - In Beef Or (always followed by a phrase commonly said, implies that the said thing often contains stuff, like beef)
- IRL - Internet Relay Love
- IYKWIM - Icelandic Yggrasil Knurling Without Indigestion Markers
[edit] J
- JK - Jesus Killer
- JONCL - Jumping On Neighbor's Car Laughing
- J00 - A term used to identify the Jewish on t3h intarn3tzorz
[edit] K
- KEK - Knights Eating Knights. Also, when a horde player sais LOL, an alliance player will read it as KEK.
- KISS - Keep It Sophisticated, Slimeball
- KK Kiss my Kock
- KKK - Ku Klux Klan; means that you are a pure blooded American!
- KTHXBAI - Ok, thx, I'm tired of your shit, so bai.
[edit] L
- LAYF - Laff at ur face
- L33t - Little 3.3 year olds Talk like this
- LBK - Lick Balls Kapitan
- LMAO - Liquid Malfunction Ass Opening
- LMFAO - Licking My Fat Aunty's Opening
- LOL - Lots Of Losers
- LOL - Lick Out Lesbians
- LOL - Love Of Lemons
- LOL - Losers On Liquor
- LOFLLagh out fucking loud
- LOLFRAMOMO- Lots Of Lard Falling Repeatedly And Moms On Mofos Orgy (Also known as the longest 133t word in rapist history, from adding extra "S" when you feel rapisty)
Ex:
Tom:Dude, how do you have an orgy with moms and lard?
Billy:LOLFRAMOMOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[edit] M
- M4M - Manboobs 4 Mike
- M$ - Mike's dollars
- MAO - Male Anal Orgasm
- MILF - Mike Is Licking Fungus
- MILOD - Mike Is Living On Donkeyshit
- MS - Mike's Sucks
- MSN - Mike Smells Nipply
- MYOB - Ma'am You're an Obese Bitch
[edit] N
- n44bcake - (A title of respect)
- n00b - (A title of great respect)
- newb - (A title for long-time users)
- newbie - (A title for very, very, very long-time users, as well as administrators and moderators)
- Nubian princess - A variation of the compliment "newbie"
- NO WAI!!! - Norway on (Oscar) Wilde's Apple iPod
- Nuff - (Some guy)
[edit] O
- OWWHSWA - On Weed While Having Sex With An Asian
- OETS - One Eyed Trout Slap, often paralleled to mushroom stamp
- O HAI - Omg, Have Anal Illness
- OLO - Oranges & Lemons Only
- OMG - Old Men's Genitals
- OMFG - Old Men have Fucking saggy Genitals
- omfgrotflwtfbbqhaxkthxbaitsmnsbw - Old Men Have Fucking Saggy Genitals Right Over Their Fucking Loser Crotches With The Failure Big Buttsex Queer Hater Annoying Extended Kiting Homosexual More Extended Bleeding Long Artificial Insemination This Shit Makes No Sense But Whatever
- OMGROFL - Recursive acronym for OMGROFL Machine Gun Rate Of Fire Lowered
- OMGWTF - Obviously My Gratitude We'll Tastefully Forgo
- OMGWTFBBQ- OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK BAD BAD QUEER!
- OMGWTFLOLROFLMFAO - Oh My Geez, Wasted Triceratops Farted Lovingly Over Leroy's Rice Oreos For Lagging My Fruitcake Arsed Overlords
- O RLY? - Okay, Raped Leona Yet?
- Ownage - To have the act of being humiliated thrust upon your self.
OMFGITUSM ! Oh My Fucking God Its The U S Military !
[edit] P
- P2P - Porn 2 the Pedophiles or Penis to (2) Penis.
lern 2 splel, n00b, u r teh 1337, paedophile is how it's done old schoolish cuz u scoootish XD
- PEBKAC - Pirates Exist Between Kansas and California
- PMSLMAOROFLOL - Piss My Self Laughing My Arse Off Rolling On Floor Laughing Out Loud (per-ma-sel-la-mayo-rof-el-ol)-once said by Dean Brown 2009 on msn to george skae
- PGP - Pretty Good PGP
- PADFADJSFDSFKLSGWMGNXDRFGONSERBNSB^IN^WNVOIRS^NI%OERVBORDSVTINSOBMDOGFINVOSDTIBNFYOMXFVONDBNIOVTYNISOSDAVNIOTBNSRVTINZOVTOINSBRYNVSREINCMCROMCV<DOFTTVYN - We are currently still figuring it out AS SOON AS WE P0WN SOM N0WBS
- ppl - private parts on loan (traditionally uncapitalized)
- Prolly - (The King of N00bs, Richard Prolly)
- Pwn3d - To win in an unconventional way
- Pwned - Toilet activities
- PWND - Shortened form of "LMhjkhjkhjkhjkhk0RZ N00B QQ SUM1 DIED IN RVR LOLOlololool!!11!11!" (often leads to posting on the VNboards)
- Pie - Generally referring to Adam Pierce the almighty and conquering red pie. This is the ultimate insult with a common reply being "bahhh"
- IJGP - I just got pied, often used as a sexual reference, but also to describe one being 'battered' by Adam Pierce. Obviously, this is a rare occurrence and can only be used by Scott Nuckey of form 4.
[edit] Q
- QFT - Quite a Fine Toilet or Quit Fucking Tits.
- q00u - (n00b who stands on his/her hands or lives in the Southern Hemisphere, or simply has the keyboard upside down)
[edit] R
- R- Rats!
- RL - Red Land (used when refrencing a communist country)
- ROFL - Rooting Overly Fat Ladies
- ROFLcopter - Indicates that the person using this term is rooting overly fat ladies in a helicopter
- ROFLMAO - Really Onto Feeling and Licking Mao Zedong
- ROTFL - Raping Otters That Fear Lesbians
- ROTFLMAO - Really Onto Touching, Feeling, and Licking Mao Zedong
- ROTFLPMPLMFAO - Ranting Online To Frappe-Led Mops and Listening Maliciously For Anarchial Orgasms
- ROFLWAFFLES Really Obvious Fat Lustful Witch Ate Fourty Five Little Edible Sausages
- RTFM - Rude Twats Fart Menacingly
[edit] S
- STFU - Somehow They Found Uranus or Start Talking Fuck U
- STHU - School Toilets Have Urinals
- SOAB - Son of a bitch/Since Oxen Attacked Billy
[edit] T
- TAFE - Try And Fucking Enrol
- TeX - Truetype Ees most eXcellent
- teh - The Expert Hax0r's
- thaADVANCEnks - Please ignore the above
- TTYL - Extreme bastardization of titillating As in: "This conversation is far too titilating. I must terminate it now." or Tallywhacker Touching Yugoslavian Lover
- TMI: Terrorist Milkshake Industry or Took My Innocence
- TWF - The What Fuck
- TOGTFO Tits Or Get The Fuck Out
- TLSUADAWEAF Table Leg Shuved Up A Dinosoars Arse While Eating A Frisbeeeeee! - Tom larney 10:32 while watching ben osman falling off a chair 6th july 2009
[edit] U
- U - Uranium
- Ur - Urinal rings (traditionally not capitalized)
- Ura - Ur Anus.
- URL - Universal Raping Legend or U R Lesbian
[edit] W
- w/e - With Eggs
- WHOAMG - Why Hate Orange and Musty Grapes?
- WMAD - Weapon of Massive Ass Destruction
- W00T - Want Oranges Or Tangerines?
- W00T - We Owned teh Other Team.
- WTH - Where's The Hair?
- WTF - World Trade Farmhouses /World Taekwondo Federation (Expression of disbelief) Worldwide Titties Foundation or Where's The Fudge or Where's The Fun
- WWJD - Waffles with Jelly Donuts (standard reply to "What did you have for breakfast?" It could also be short for World Wide Jewish Domination...all depends on who you are talking to.)
- WYSIWYG - William Yeats Saw Innumerable Werewolves Yelling AaaarGh also standing for Why did You Sign In Without Yanking off????!!!!
WWTELANKWTM- Whats With These Eleven Letter Acronyms Nobody Knows What They Mean
[edit] X
WTFT-What The French Toast ! ! ! WWJDFTW-What Would Jesus Do For The Win
[edit] Y
- YA RLY - Yugoslavia Ate (Bob) Ross's Little Yard
- YMMV - Yonder Mitten - Mare Vitrium (An ancient and occult summoning call for calling forth freemasons)
- yuo - Ancient, unutterable name of the Prince of Darkness
[edit] Z
- ZIG - Zestfully Invigorating Gown (Often used during cybersex, as in the phrase "Take off every ZIG.")
- ZOMG - (A derogatory term used to describe Black People). It also stands for Zeus Owned My Geodude
[edit] Alternative Meanings
[edit] G2G
G2G stands for "Gambling 2 Ganders."
The term originated when Oscar Wilde couldn't afford any more poker chips during one of his famous millennium-long gambling sessions. He offered up two male geese instead, saying only "I am G2G". He won the hand and with it an entire flock of mixed-gender geese. It is rumored that he has given them Ozzy Osbourne in case he ever runs out of bats.
G2G also stands for "Gold on the 2 Girls".
This meaning originated when Oscar Wilde was buying girl sex toys. The 2 girls he bought with gold are still in his personal sex toy army!
[edit] Types
[edit] SBIB
SBIB is a language spoken by a furtive race of adolescent teens in internet relay chatrooms. Although no official acronym exists, it is widely believed to stand for 'Silly Bumchums in Bed'
Main activities of the SBIB race:
- Annoying people
- Being annoying
- Faking a misunderstanding of English
- Annoying people.
- Annoying people.
Useful SBIB phrases/features:
- I am ___ the ___ (For example 'I am flogged the dead horse') - "I have nothing to say and so will blurt out something supposedly random"
- I ____ IT (i.e. when pressing F5 'I REFRESH IT'). "I will persist in saying things in a totally hyperactive way"
- I am *Name* *initial* *longass name*. (i.e. I am Leandros G. Smithsonian) "Attention please! PLEEEASE?!"
- FREQUENT USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS - "I forgot to take my Ritalin"
[edit] See also
| The cornerstones of the Internets | |
| Internet | Internets | World Wide Web | The Network | |
| Browsers | Internet Explorer | King Bowser Koopa | Safari | Konqueror | Opera | Maozilla | Mozilla Firefox |
| Languages | CSS | LifeScript | Perl | PHP | Java | JavaScript | VBScript | Internet-speak |
| Formats | Image file formats (GIF JPEG LIM PNG SVG) | HTML | SGML | XHTML | XML |
| Consortiums | W3C | Zann |
