FBI
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This Article Doesn't Concern You. Move Along Quietly.
 FBI WARNING:The FBI is monitoring this webpage. If you are here, they're already coming to get you, you sick Commie bastard!
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“FBI? I don't know the FBI. There's no such thing as the FBI. Did you say FBI, you gay liberal atheist motherfucker? EAT PERMABAN!”
~ Andrew Schlafly on the FBI
“...”
~ Gordan Freeman on FBI
“They are covering up the Alien Landings”
~ Fox Mulder on FBI
“Shhh... It's a secret”
~ FBI
“Frickin' Bisexual Indians”
~ Al Gore on FBI
“Fuckin' Big Idiot”
~ a toaster on Al Gore
“Does it stand for Fucking Bitch Idiot???”
“I'M NOT IN THE FBI!”
~ Spatz on the FBI
“The FBI ensures you it was just a blimp.”
~ FBI
“In Soviet Russia, FBI SCARED OF YOU!!”
“Frank Beats Indians!”
~ Evil Pizza on the FBI
“Sir, FBI...”
~ FBI on You
“Oh SHIT! Quick! Dump the 'roids in the toilet.”
~ Gary Sheffield on whenever someone says FBI
“Vodka mixes good with KGB”
~ Boris Yeltsin on FBI
“Me like body 'specting!”
~ she-thing Delta Burke on her time in the FBI
“There is no such thing as the FBI”
~ The FBI on The FBI
“Did you hear about what the FBI said? No? Well, neither did anyone else...”
~ That One Dude
“FBI! SAVE MY OIL!”
~ George W. Bush on what the fbi really does
“Well your probly be getting a visit from the fbi buddy”
~ Frank "Duncan" Garrett on FBI
FBI stands for Female Body Inspector, which is the largest sexual harassment enforcement agency in America, and also not an organization that you want to mess around with.
Contents |
[edit] Creation/Original Mission
The FBI (Female Body Inspector) is a crack government law-enforcement agency founded in 1492, by demons, in order to fight aliens. The alien invasion plot originally involved copying all the movies in America in order to collapse the movie-making industry and watching as the entertainment-reliant public shriveled and died. The aliens of course failed to realize that reality TV is the main source of entertainment in America. It contains many shows that show the amazing female figure. Nonetheless, the FBI was set up to maintain the public's ignorance of aliens. The first FBI Director, Harold Holt, was, in fact, an Alien. While this may seem contrary to the mission of the FBI, recall that they intend to keep aliens secret. The more he kept his kind hidden from ours, the fewer interviews with Ted Koppel he would be forced to do. Thus, under many layers of cosmetics, he managed to achieve some measure of normality. In fact, recent reconstructions of his death mask, found in his tomb at Gaza, suggest he may have looked more human than Michael Jackson, a somewhat less skilled alien, despite his more modern cosmetic options. nh The FBI has continued to play a key role in human/alien relations. Indeed, Oscar Wilde (a well known agent of the FBI) was one of the first ambassadors to the alien's homeworld, famously describing it as "weird," and recalling that they "really, really like Ben Stiller." This is, in fact, one of the reasons he can be found in so many movies to this day.
[edit] Interesting Fact About FBI
- It now exists (Disregard that. It does not.)
- It has the power to make people bleed, just by making their poster boy, Mulder, pout.
- The letters 'FBI' are actually powerful runes that prevent anyone wearing it from having sexual congress with anyone, excepting their hand.
- The ruins are located in ancient Timbuktu.
- They invented photography in 1861 so that they could arrest people for making child and adult pornography, beware of unsuspected visits from the 4 chan party van.
- They used Strawberry Alarm Clocks to wake people up.
- Much like the use of klondike 5 in America, the FBI are only seen on TV
- The FBI's Headquarters are actually located in caves in Afghanistan to trick all the "tarrists."
- FBI agents like the "tarrists" drive black vans with covered windows, and packed with high explosives. It's very inconspicuous.
[edit] How to spot them
Stingy trucks that say things like Flowers By Irene or something else. They can also be seen driving black Suburbans & black Ford Crown Victorias. They are running about the world shooting people saying they are not members of the FBI but they actually are. To prove it yank hard on their face and it will fall of. {it works trust me} P.S. dont look outside they're watching right now
[edit] Motto
- "Siempre Estúpidos"
- "Nous sommes des étrangers et nous l'aimons!"
- '"Shoot First Ask Questions Later"
[edit] Federal Bureau of Investigation
Another FBI known as the Federal Bureau of Investigation was formed back in Civil War By Abraham Lincoln who discovered evidence of Southerners trying to switch sides. Refusing to allow Southern Blood had now poisoned and Infected the brilliant minds of the North [1], Lincoln formed the Federal Bureau of Inhalation in order to hunt down and exterminate the Southern Threats.
When the Civil War came to a close and after Lincolns assassination, Andrew Johnson changed the Plans of the Federal Bureau of Inhalation, and instead had them target all who were not White, Cristian, Land owning, American born, males. However upon his impeachment the group was temporary disbanded.
[edit] Resurrection Under J. Edgar Hoover
During the Presidency of Calvin Coolidge, the FBI was reformed under the Directorship of J. Edgar Hoover. Coolidge had a new plan for the Bureau. He wanted to use the Bureau to hunt down and clean up crime across America. Hoover was well known for cleaning up the East and was chosen by Coolidge for the Job. Under Hoovers command the Federal Bureau of Inhalation captured and executed over 3000 criminals up to 1945 when public opinion threatened to shut down the group. In order to avoid another closing Hoover renamed the group The Federal Bureau of Investigation.
The group continued to have moderate successes with capturing Criminals, but due to their title as a law Enforcement group they could no longer directly execute the criminals.
[edit] Cold War and Beyond
As the Cold War went on the Group began having trouble capturing criminals. It was due in large part to the fact that many criminals of the time were communists and lived in Russia. In order to cope with the new world John F. Kennedy fooled convinced the United Nations to allow the FBI to hunt criminals across the Earth. In order to stir more movement out of the American population, The FBI officially released a list of the FBI Ten Most Wanted Fugitives. When Citizens saw that the FBI was awarding people for capture of criminals, they span into action and began a wave of criminal arrests.
In 2001 several viewed of America's Most Wanted [2] few stayed on the list for more then a few hours because the American television audience were mistaken into beveling that criminals on the list were wanted Dead or alive. As a result over 450 criminals were killed in under 48 hours after making it on the list for only a few moments. The how was subsequently sued for $15 Billion. While the show was canceled it also resulted in Republicans taking over the Fox Network.
Since then the FBI has continued to hunt criminals around the world.
[edit] FBA
The FBI has been said, to be, in fact, the 'FBA.' This means that the Federal Bureau of Investigation is actually the Federal Bureau of Australia.
This myth was only proven today and it has been realized that the term 'FBI' is actually an acute ploy to make their agents safer. The last letter of FBA was changed to an 'I,' and the meaning was changed. The location of the headquarters was also changed to draw any and all thoughts of the FBA off Australia, thus making it safe from terrorism.
Also discovered today is the fact that the FBA is protecting Australia from Terrorism by antagonizing the terrorists and making them attack America. Possible motives include Americans being complete morons, Australians hating Americans, and/or any combination of the two.
It was kinda funny, we had a BBQ that afternoon. lol Americans. - Kevin Rudd, Head of the 'FBA'
[edit] Other
Also a small Rock & Roll band that toured with Lee Harvey Oswald, and a very popular slang term meaning "Feel Barry's Ichtyosaurus"
Lastly, it is an acronym for dirty perverts/teenagers who think its funny, to be called "Female Body Inspectors"
[edit] Invader Zim's Side of the Story
According to Zim's big TV, the FBI that they were developed by a bunch of crazy people who fought aliens with corn. Not much is known about this theory and it is believed that they may be watching all of us through our toilets. Zim was questioned on this, but his response was a tad bit negative. "Filthy, filthy little worms! I'll fuck your girlfriend, or something."
[edit] FBI (as in Famous Bitch Inspectors') Ten Most Wanted
- Jessica Alba
- Pamela Anderson
- Marylin Monroe's rotting corpse
- Carmen Electra
- Megan Fox
- Jennifer Love Hewitt
- Jessica Biel
- Lindsay Lohan
- Carrie Fisher
- Natalie Portman
[edit] See also
Federal Bureau of Investigation Ten Most Wanted Fugitives
[edit] External Links
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