“WTF!? THAT'S NOT COMMUNISM!!!”
“Well it's not a question of wanting to be a mouse... it just sort of happens to you. All of a sudden you realize... that's what you want to be.”
Furryism is a condition in which a furry person (members of the furry fandom are known as furry fans, furries, or furs) self-identifies as a member of an animal species. Furryism often manifests itself as an agonizing dysphoria toward one's birth species. If untreated, it can sometimes lead to fursuiting, which will often begin in local zoos, where potential furry suitors for courting abound.
Furryism is contracted at childhood. If your child comes in contact with a costume character or mascot, plays with a stuffed animal, or watches a movie or television show with talking animals he or she will inevitably become a furry. There is no full cure, but some are led to believe that Hentai can halt the effects of Furryism, although if used too much this will cause the afflicted child to become Wapanese.
As of 1981 furries are protected under the Wildlife and Countryside Act and hunting them for their pelts is no longer legal in the Lower 48 States of the United States.
Typical furry personas or "fursonas" include leeches, toucans, velociraptors, maggots, daddy-long-legses and gibbons. Some fictional animals are popular fursonas too, such as the double-hawk, Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal and that face grabbing thing from Aliens.
Furries are also known to use "cross-breed" fursonas, such as the pengui-aardvark or batsquid.
Dedicated furries devote considerable time to their animalistic smell ("yiff") as well as their costumes ("fursuits"). The inability of the skin to breath in fursuits often adds to the furry's distinctive yiff considerably, and certain furries (such as those who use a skunk fursona) may be very yiffy indeed.Be careful while invading furry territory as most attack from the rear. Or just the disgusting rendition of gang banging foxes picture-style. But be careful some have experimented with their own genetics causing the fur suit to become a part of their bodies (see starfox) and that yiff may just be their natural musk!
The great fur war
Some time in the 1990's a great war broke out between two types of these nerds. First the type that likes the porn and the type that just creep me out without remorse. This war was known as The great fur war. This war started because a few of these yiff-loving people (lets call them P1 for now!) got the power through their fur suits to get women to take any thing they wanted to do to them. This pissed of the ones who hate that yiff thing (lets call these P2) and led to a massive attack from P2 to P1. Enraged P1 said some thing along the lines of "Oh yeah!" or they just watched their copy of A Night At The Roxbury and decided it would be a good idea to counter attack. This war took place between 1992 and 1999.
The Battle begin at Bristol, right outside Obtuse's house. P1, which their marching band, the infamous Slavar Weasels, played their amazingly blaring song called "Of Weasel Slaves and Naked Hamsters" also known to the common people as, "What the hell-?". Enraged, the P2 army quickly deployed their elite stormtroopers regiment, "The Bigots of Bristol" to stop the furries from spreading their propaganda and corrupting the mind of the innocent *sic* Bristol youth. 400 furries, 3000 jews, 50 confused scots and Obtuse's front lawn was massacred. This war became the rallying cry of the world-wide furrydom.
Results of the war.
- The 1940s were completely destroyed.
- Racist feelings between P1 and P2 still continue.
- Neither side has disarmed!
- Baby Jesus was resurrected, consequently leading to the creation of the movie "300"
- This article
Film Stars and Superheroes
About 70% of furries gain super powers from their fursuits, such as the ability to watch Hentai without vomiting, and the ability to read furry-comics without laughing. Super-furries include Batman (bat), Spiderman (spider), Catwoman (cat) and Superman (also cat).
Han-Solo's best buddy Chewbacca is also a dedicated furry, rarely seen outside of his fursuit.
Those who don't become super-heroes often gain employment as Baseball mascots, genetics engineers, Professional loser, theme-park entertainers, or handing out free samples outside stores.
The most notorious Furry organization is PETA (well known for their slogan "We'd rather do it fursuited than wear nothing"), whose exhibitionist members often show off their bizarre perversion in public.
Many believe that the furry community may also have a deep-seated allegiance with such hotels as the The Red Roof Inn and Bestwestern, as these fine lodgings are where they hold many of their Fur Conventions, or, "Cons." Or maybe they're just attracted to perpetually hot meth towns, who knows.
Furries in religion
God hates furries! The eleventh comandment is most commonly translated as "Thou shalt not be a Furry." Do to religious controversy of furries the United States has considered passing an amendment banning marriage between furries.
However, Jesus may have been a furry because he identified himself with the lamb. Some people believe that this is why he was sent to die on the big T.