Frozen (2013 film)

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Evil Elsa

Elsa will freeze YOUR SOUL!!

Frozen is a 2013 film created by a cult known as Disney to brainwash people with subliminal messages and songs. The movie caused events in history before it was even released.

edit Plot

It begins in 1820's Arendelle, Antarctica, where a few people sing about making ice sculptures. In a heavily fortified palace, two teenage girls make an army of snowmen. This army eventually kills their parents, the King and Queen of Arendelle. This is done to put Elsa on the throne. When Elsa becomes queen, a few Christians find out about Elsa's powers. They try to stop her, but she kills them in the process. Elsa runs off, singing about killing anyone she comes across. She then creates a palace out of ice and corpses. When people try to kill her, her little sister, Anna, kills them, and rides to warn Elsa. There, they meet Azazel, a snowman who sings in the woods. When they get to Mount Doom, Elsa creates a snowman army to loot, kill, and eventually obliterate the subjects of Arendelle once and for all, and then the world. In the end, Elsa achieves world domination.

edit Songs

Frozen has many songs, that have a tendency to possess people. One such example is "Do You Wanna Build A Snowman" which made kids worldwide sing it not only in English, French, German, and Japanese, but also dead languages such as Latin and Aramaic. The song is said to have driven many mad, to the point of homicide in some cases.

Another such case is the infamous "Let them Die", in which Elsa sings about her destruction of Arendelle. This has caused people to go on killing rampages.

edit Merchandise


They also play "Let Them Die" when shooting!

Due to the success of Frozen, there have been many items of merchandise. These consist of balloons, cups, and even weapons, such as guns, crossbows, and swords. The things that seem to be the most disturbing, however, are the Frozen dolls of Elsa and Anna. These sing songs, and say phrases, such as "Do you Wanna Build a Snowman?" and can brainwash an entire town. [1]

edit Cult Following


This may look like an innocent pair of girls, but they are VERY EVIL!!

No work of evil is complete without a cult. Perhaps the most infamous one, though, is in Florida, known as the Hall of Elsanna.

Very few people have survived the Elsanna rituals, and one such example is Idina Menzel. She was forced to play Elsa in the movie by the demons. After they used her, she was sent to the Hall of Elsanna. Luckily, though, she was able to fight her captors, but not before she saw the inside of the temple. "It was horrifying," she told New York journalists. "There were monks in pink robes, with the face of Anna, and monks in blue robes, with the face of Elsa. There were even Elsa and Anna cosplays, with real hair, chanting the Frozen songs." Other survivors have seen more than Idina. "We were led into a chamber, to perform 'Acts of Love' with people of our same gender. After that, we were forced to fornicate. Luckily, I found a way out by knocking a monk unconscious, rescuing a few others." For those less fortunate, they were supposedly castrated, and executed. Florida Police have found corpses on the side of roads, and in freezers. Their genitalia was cut off, and their bodies had sayings from the movie carved into them, such as "The Coldness of Death Never Bothered Me Anyway", or "An Act of True Hate will Damn a Frozen Heart". "The most disturbing thing is that these acts are still happening," one officer told interviewers, before a pink and blue sedan took him away.

Donald Trump (before his Republican Presidential run) was kidnapped by cult members, disguised as paramedics. "I was in Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan," he told CNN anchor, Anderson Cooper. "And all of a sudden, an ambulance that had a strange green flag that I've never seen was swooping up towards me. Two paramedics came out of it, and one of them gave me a sedative. Then, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, I was in this lavish huge room that looked like a throne room, and sitting on the throne was a pretty girl wearing ice blue robes. She smiled at me, then shot a shiver of cold at me. I completely froze. Three days later, I was in the hospital, and that's where I got to hear about my kidnapping."

edit Historical Recordings

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Frozen (2013 film).

In some historical recordings, the Frozen characters have affected history, or the movie itself.

  • One example is the Titanic in 1912. According to Frederick Fleet, there was a "Germanic figure singing a beautiful song on an iceberg right ahead. ICEBERG RIGHT AHEAD!!" [2]
  • Another event is the Ice Age, which caused all creatures to become anthropomorphic, in addition to the infinite ice. (This is not known as a fact, but widely disputed.)
  • A form of hypoglycemia seems to have been developed in the 1910s, in which the patients crave chocolate and sandwiches. The woman was a red-haired, freckle-faced woman, by the name of Anna.
  • Nostradamus predicted that "In AD MMXIII, a living picture of great evil shall take its place unto the world, and civilisation shall perish."

edit References

  1. This is according to complaints of the elderly.
  2. According to the recordings of a fellow lookout on the Titanic.
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