Frog
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The frog is the world's smallest homo with an average length of five inches (which is bigger than yours!) ... (and mine). They were created by world renowned bio engineer Dr. William H. Cosby M.D. They are known for attempting to mimic the instinctual behavior of homos (i.e. trying to flip yo mama over, bellowing loudly, generally being large and terrifying) but often failing miserably, because of their small size and their tendency to be stepped on by careless fishermen. The frog is native to France.
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[edit] Behavior
As mentioned previously, frogs have a tendency to try and emulate the behavior of fully-sized hippos-their shit even smells like them. They often try to overturn boats with their shit and the planet venus however they usually end up simply bouncing off the bottom of the boats comically. Likewise, they try to battle each other the same way hippos do, but usually end up simply swimming feebly into each other a few times. Their attempts to emulate the mating cry of their larger cousins can be heard in their "croak." The first person to eat a frog leg was Dr Hagen Pavey whose first statement was "tastes like chicken". Many frogs also behave in a manner others would call "crazy".
In recent years, Global warming has caused a mass decrease in frog population, because 99% of oil company owners are actually cleverly disguised frogs who are now jobless due to increasing prices. Frog taste good when eaten with tostitos and dip. Also noted, when frogs consume steroids they grow bull-horns. It is a strange but terrifying phenomenon. A very mature child attacked by a steroid induced frog told us, "It screamed and told me to lay my face on the pavement, then flew at me with its horns. I think there was fire too. Believe that shit, bitch." Although a lot of the time frog s just sit around and take out their lighters and burn random animals, it's a hobby they do almost everyday, they find it personally rewarding to randomly burn things
[edit] Use as princess generators
Many women believe that making sexual contact with a frog can transform them into princesses. This is helped by the popular children's fairy tale in which a woman performs Fellatio on a frog, and he rewards her by transforming her into a princess. Nowadays, however, such occurrences are rare, if they occur at all. Many frogs are angered by being stereotyped as princess generators, and many protests among frogs have arisen, though most of them end fairly quickly, with the frogs in question being stepped on. Many women continue to get themselves involved with frogs, despite the fact that the species' reputation as being a species of small penis size, and domestic abusers has been ever growing. As one former bride of a frog said: "He screamed at me, and called me a bitch. Then he got a broomstick and tried to beat me with it. Of course, he couldn't, because he was a frog. Then I threw him out a window." Due to strong protests frog crossing have been made compulsory in many European countries including Africa. They are located next to pedestrian crossings. Since these have been introduced frog/toad deaths have decreased by 75%, good times.
[edit] Use in agriculture
Frogs are a staple crop in such states as Kansas and Nebraska. They are raised from tadpoles, and when they grow into fully grown frogs, they are killed and sent to local grocery stores, disguised as apples. It is estimated that over 55% of green delicious apples in grocery stores are actually dead frogs, which are cheaper for farms to grow. "Frogs and apples taste pretty much the same, except frogs are juicier," said a prominent food expert, before vomiting several gallons of blood and collapsing violently.
[edit] Use in science
Frogs have been used for research throughout the centuries. Eighteenth-century biologist Luigi Galvani discovered the link between electricity and the nervous system by shoving a frog into an electrical socket and documenting the results. "We use frogs in our research a lot because they're easy to raise, and, frankly, because they're fun to kill," says a prominent scientist on his latest experiment (which was a study on how many frogs his roommate could chug in five minutes).
[edit] The running of the frogs
The running of the frogs is an alternative event to the running of the bulls, in which several thousand frogs are released in a street, and people run away screaming in terror. Often, plastic horns are attached to the frogs to make them look more menacing, though this usually has backlash, as the horns are usually so big that they squish the frogs or prevent them from moving.
This is part of a more general movement to make dangerous, bull-related sports safer. Other events include frog-fighting, which is identical to bullfighting except the raging bull is replaced by a fat bullfrog, and frog riding, which is identical to bull riding except the cowboy tries to sit on top of a raging frog instead of a raging bull.
[edit] Species of Frogs
One of the best known frogs is the Bullfrog, so called because it is the size of a bull. 5 and a half deaths a year are caused by Bullfrogs trampling, eating or raping adults and children. Bullfrogs are best known for being lovely characters. They were depicted as such in My Life, the award winning autobiography of Brie Dognight, who spent a year living with bullfrogs. Says Brie, "There was this one bullfrog that I named Jeremiah, whom I took a particular liking to. In fact, one could even say that he was my friend of sorts. Of course, as he was a bullfrog, I never understood a single word he said, but Jerry made up for it all by having an unusually large supply of good wine."
The Poison Arrow frog is approximately 4cm long and brightly coloured. In ancient times, people would throw them at their enemies. Tree frogs tend to live in high places and wait for their prey. They are approximately 3cm long. When they see the prey directly beneath them, they jump on them and devour them, usually whole. The tree frog diet consists of elephants and mosquitoes.
[edit] How to Look Like One
The internet is littered with articles about how to go completely cuneiform and look like a frog. You can find dozens of them by typing into google, the exact phrase "how to look like a frog", in quotes. Wikipedia will not be held liable for the results, however, so proceed at your own risk.
[edit] Frogs in religion
Frogs were released by God as one of the Ten Plagues of Egypt. First he sent them to France, then threw the legless frogs back into Egypt as he had no use for them. The magic of Moses helped duplicate the frogs and overran the Egyptian Republics (not the Florida grocery store), eventually saving the Jews/Israelites.
The Alex Frog By James Clark And Cameron Duncan the alex frog is a rare specie of frog that looks like alex rose and goes out with kimberlea wimbierly wimberly woo another rare specie of sloth, and mate like tigers making sounds of deranged lama spiting, but little does she now he is planing to eat her and then mate with beky big bottom or charles and his dad,and then a retarded fish frog and this frog he doesn't know it but it's a man... that is a unique and is looking for a penis and a tail and a retarded lama camel, to mate withat the same time with a ruler and pencil so it can be 5 play and its an emo with cuts all over its body that look like the alex frog and the bogey man and superman dun duna. The alex frog has a big beard and when its old ins a crazy old man and farts a lot and smells of beans.
[edit] Blending
The common frog has many useful applications, arguably the funniest of which is to stick one of the little bastards in a blender. It doesn't really serve any practical purpose, it's just really, really, really funny. Other amusing applications including lighting them, smoking them, and shoving sparklers in their mouths.
