From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Frisians are an ethnic group. They live in Denmark, Holland and Germany. There greatest hero was Pier Gerlofs Donia, even though he was actually just three dwarves in a raincoat. They are known since Roman times. They kicked quite some Roman ass back then (and had themselves kicked twice more).
Dutch people (strong retards) cannot understand a word the Frisians (Dutch: Friezen) say. The Frisians are farmers. According to legend, their ancestors where vikings and dwarves from Narnia.
The Frisians are remarkably skilled in turning puddles into land to make farms and villages, what a race of wizards they are.
They are a serious people. And very stubborn. They jump across canals with sticks (true thing!) and call this a sport "fierljeppen".
They live in a magic land known as Frisia.
- Frisian people are always blonde and blue eyed.
- Their women have big boobs. In contrast to the Dutch who are surprisingly small chested, but only live a few miles away.
- Also their (pregnant) women post themselves give birth to kids on youtube (birth pr0n) to pay for the "free" medical care bills. 90% of the revenue is generated from views originating from Germanic countries
- All Frisians are tall except for those who have been shrunk by wizards.
- 32% of the Frisian population is mentally retarded. Their ancestors were, unfortunately- and against their will, impregnated by Dutchman.
- Wikipedia is known to make fun of Frisians (racist!)
- Ninja's and cats are forbidden in Frisia.
- In Frisia, shoes are frowned upon.
- In Frisia, frowns are shoed upon.
- Wooden shoes in Frisia are always standard in US size 20 or bigger.
- Their favorite sport is "windmill riding" (hold onto the fan).
- In large parts of The Netherlands only elementary school exists. That's why the Dutch migrate to Frisia between 10 and 20 years old to get educated.
- The Dutch version of TV programs are outlawed in Frisia, as well as books and Wikipedia.
- It is forbidden in Frisia to own a Dutchman and not have sex with it.
- A monkey can be a mayor in a Frisian major city, but not a Dutchman.
- Their language only consists of consonants (see also Polish and Scottish).
- Frisians are smarter than Dutch people, but less than Hawking.
- They worship the Old Gods of the North.
- And most of all, Frisians love their goat cheese.
edit Where else Frisians live
In the 16th century BCE (since Frisians aren't religious people), the Frisians left their homeland of 5,000 some years to sail the world's seven seas, took a shit on the six continents and pop up all over the world to this very day. Frisians can be found in New Amsterdam, New Africa (Suriname), the West Indies, the East Indies, the real Indies (where they left a long time ago) and Istanbul NOT Constaninople as hired call girls for Turkish men. Note Frisian means = Frozen ASIANs (see Sami people).