Fret wanking

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Brian May be Slash in disguise

A true practitioner makes the most of any opportunity

1. Masturbation when anxious, stressed, or under other abnormal circumstances. Individuals who succumb to the temptation of Fret Wanking can sometimes wank continuously for extended periods of time. Documented evidence exists of an individual who spent three and a half months wanking nonstop. He required life support following the first four days. Doctors classify a case of fret wanking this severe as a seizure.

2. Overly ostentatious or self-indulgent guitar playing. Particularly prevalent in Heavy Metal or modern Jazz performance. See The Edge, Slash out of Guns and Roses or Pat Metheny. Often accompanied by guitar licks and other kinky acts (see: G-string).

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