From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Damn, this road gets more dangerous everyday!”A freeway is a double road that goes a long distance. This type of road go such a long distance, that you could end up at the Mackinac Bridge after a long way's travel. Whenever cars travel on the freeway; they usually travel one direction on each side. If traffic goes against the direction the side of the freeway is assigned to; it will end up in a huge pileup and even the end of the world.
Due to having a unlimited speed limit, freeways are prone to pileups as random shit is bound to happen. The probability of random shit increases dramatically if you go past the speed of light with a warp drive or some other nutty device.
One of the worst pileups to occur on any freeway was the pileup on Interstate 69 in Michigan when a rampant raid of HIV, AIDS virus, genital warts and other STDs created a smoke of fog that caused 105,000 cars to be totalled into twisted metal, but ironically 69 percent survived whereas 45% of survivors never had sex again. 45% of the cars that ended up in the pileup were all made by Detroit car companies as I-69 heads to Detroit.
Oscar Wilde's diary
Oscar Wilde traveled the freeway so much, he just wanted to escape from every shenanigan of his. Eventually, he was pulled over by a cop who patrolls the roadway.
President Dwight D. Eisenhower built more freeways when he wanted to speed up trade and shipping of military weaponry to defend against enemy attacks. Ironically, most multicar pileups that occur on freeways are basically a sabotage trap to cause havoc. Highway 401 in Ontario has been known to have mass carnage with bottlenecked medians all because the Canadian government had too much farmland to spare since people in Toronto were hungry like hell.